Halloween.

October 31, 2018
Day 763

     Thankful for a lovely day with family. Thankful for times to dress up and walk around and collect candy form strangers. Thankful for days with make believe. Thankful for little children to love and cuddle and kiss. Thankful for little hands to hold. Thankful for sugary lips to kiss.

Easy going.

October 30, 2018
Day 762

     I'm thankful that I came home last night to a happy Tobin. He's sick, but he's happy. I'm thankful that I have been getting to spend so much time with Adelyn lately. She's a much more relaxed and easy going person when it's just the two of us together. It's like she lets her guard down. I'm thankful for medicine that keeps Tobin comfortable while he's sick. I'm thankful for my husband. I'm thankful for the cool air. I'm thankful that it's almost the middle of the week. I'm thankful for God's blessings.

At the perfect time.

October 29, 2018
Day 761

     Thankful for all the things God has given me. Thankful for my family, my home, my dog, my job, this life. I do not deserve any of these good things, but God gives them anyways. It's a humbling feeling to realize that all that I have is undeserved, but given because God loves me.

     I'm thankful that at that perfect time, more good things will come.

A good Sunday.

October 28, 2018
Day 760

Thankful for mornings to sleep in. Thankful for clean floors and a clean house. Thankful for cuddles in bed with my babies. Thankful for time to sit and write thank you cards. Thankful for a fun time at Patty's house. Thankful for cake and cookies and a delicious dinner. Thankful for my home. Thankful for the way the sky looked today. Thankful for my family. It was a good day, and I'm thankful for it.

A great Saturday.

October 27, 2018
Day 759

     Today was a good day. We cleaned the whole house. We did laundry. We relaxed a bit. I took Adelyn to a birthday party, and then we had a fire pit night. Our good friends came over, and we relaxed by the fire and drank wine and ate good cheese and bread and pesto and looked at the stars. It was a lovely night. Thankful for good friends. Thankful for good food. Thankful for fire pits. Thankful for sky space. Thankful for stars. Thankful for a great Saturday.

Short list, but good list.

October 26, 2018
Day 758

     Thankful for games during recess. Thankful for time to sleep. I am so exhausted. But I am thankful for my bed and time to sleep in it.

Today is short.

October 25, 2018
Day 757

     Thankful for a lovely day. Thankful for Little House on the Prairie. Thankful for time to sleep. Today is short, but I am still so thankful!

I couldn't possibly list them all.

October 24, 2018
Day 756

     Thankful for cold air, for glorious sunrises, for skies so beautiful there are no words to describe them, for big mugs of hot tea and honey, for my home, for my children, for my husband, for time to relax in sweatpants on the couch in between doing stuff for work, for my parents, for my family, for my sister, for phone calls with people I love, for time to sleep, for so many things to be thankful for that I can't possibly list them all.

When did the flu become a season?

October 23, 2018
Day 755

     Someone said these words to me today: "It's flu season." I've been pondering these words all day and I've come to these conclusions.

1. Since when did the flu become a season? Last I checked there was spring, summer, fall, and winter. Fall and winter are my two favorite seasons. I absolutely love the cold air. When there is cold air outside, I feel as though I can truly breathe deep. I feel invigorated. I feel alive. I feel good. Hearing the words, "It's flu season," does nothing except make me feel nervous and anxious for the duration of my two most favorite seasons. It makes me wish them away so that I can escape the heavy blanket of, "It's flu season."

2. When someone again says these words to me: "It's flu season," I'm going to ignore them. I'm going to leave them right where they are and not bring them with me everywhere I go. Instead, I'm going to concentrate on these words, "It's fall," or "It's winter." Fall means cool, crisp air. It means gorgeous leaves. It means amazing sunsets. It means clouds and sky and colors that make me happy to be alive. Winter means cold, cold air. It means snow and the low winter sun. It means cozy evenings at home because the sun goes down early. It means Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's Day. It means cold sunsets, but they're so worth it. Some of my favorite sunsets have been in the middle of winter.

     Thankful for resolutions. Thankful for a clear mind. Thankful for the seasons: spring, summer, winter, and fall. Especially fall and winter. It's fall. Right now, it's fall, and it makes me overjoyed.

Better than before.

October 22, 2018
Day 754

     Thankful for cold air. For fresh food. For a bit of junk food. For time to lay in bed. For sunrises that make my heart full and overflowing. For the best job. For the best family. For the sweetest husband. And children. And home. For October. For morning light. For things to be thankful for. For a new day tomorrow. I like a fresh start. There's always another day to do things better than before.

Lovely, lazy day.

October 21, 2018
Day 753

     Thankful for a lovely, lazy, relaxing day. Thankful for time spent with my family. Thankful for a big pot of homemade chili. Thankful for cuddles with my Adelyn, my Tobin, my husband, and my coyote. Thankful for a wild, windy blue sky. Thankful for the wind. Thankful for a relaxing Sunday. Thankful for a new day tomorrow.

Thankful for the end of this day.

October 20, 2018
Day 752

Thankful for a great day. I had two events for school and they both turned out fantastic. Thankful for family. Thankful for pizza at Patty's after a long, busy day. Thankful for the end of this day.

Little Friday List

October 19, 2018
Day 751

     Thankful for a great day at school. Thankful for time to rest at night. Thankful for cold air. Thankful for the foggy, misty morning. Thankful for a beautiful blue sky morning. Thankful for sweet kids to play with at recess. We played Little House on the Prairie, and it was great fun! Thankful for a fun day planned tomorrow. Thankful for sweatpants and t-shirts and my cozy bed. Thankful for a lovely Friday.

Little List

October 18, 2018
Day 750

Thankful that tomorrow is Friday.

Thankful that cold air is here.

Thankful for sweater weather.

Thankful for fun things coming up.

Thankful for time to read to my babies at night. I'm reading The Long Winter to Adelyn, and I'm reading Winnie-the-Pooh to Tobin.

Thankful for time to sleep.

The feeling of being safe.

October 17, 2018
Day 749

     Thankful for my home. Thankful for the feeling of being safe and home and cozy. Thankful for crackers. Thankful for easy dinners. Thankful for easy lunches. Thankful for that tomorrow is Thursday. That's one day closer to Friday which is one day closer to Saturday which is one day closer to Sunday. Thankful for time to be quiet and alone at night. Thankful for this life. It's lovely.

Time to close my eyes.

October 16, 2018
Day 748

     Thankful for my home and my bed and my books and my tea. Thankful for the smell of Higbee. Thankful for the cuddle of Adelyn and Tobin. Thankful for the peace I feel here. Thankful for my bed and for time to close my eyes.

He's mine.

October 15, 2018
Day 747

     Thankful for Tobin. Words cannot say how thankful I am for Tobin. He is proof that God loves me. His eyes, his cheeks, his ears, his smile, his heart, the way he loves, the way he loves animals, it's all proof that God loves me. When he was born, my dreams came true. When he was born, my aching heart mended. When he was born, he made everything right again. I want to hold him forever. I asked him tonight if even when he's a big, grown up man like dada if I can still hold him like a baby. He looked at me and thoughtfully said, "Yes." I'm going to hold him to it. I have the written proof right here.

     Thankful for a boy named Tobin Solomon Sanderson. Thankful that he's mine. Thankful that we were able to have a grand birthday celebration for him yesterday and today. Two days of celebrating Tobin are days well spent.

Party.

October 14, 2018
Day 746

     Thankful for an amazing party for my boy. Thankful for jungle animals and jungle decorations and a jungle cake. Thankful for the fire pit. Thankful for marshmallows and chocolate. Thankful for the smell and the crackle of burning wood. Thankful for time to laugh and relax with family. Thankful for a wonderful party. Thankful for the best son.

Words are forever; they cannot be unspoken.

October 13, 2018
Day 745

     I watched a movie last night called, Julia and Julia. It's about a woman who starts a blog about cooking every recipe in Julia Child's cookbook. She blogs when she cooks a new recipe, and she collects followers along the way.

     I'm not going to lie, a small part of me felt a twinge of jealousy when this woman who blogged about cooking collected enough followers to eventually lead her down the path to getting multiple book deals. My thoughts were: I'm blogging about life and death and grief and thankfulness. This is way more important. They were selfish thoughts; jealous thoughts.

     I've wished and hoped for book deals from this blog. I've wished and hoped that someone, somewhere will read something that resonates with them and be compelled to write and say, "I need you to write a book."

     But that hasn't happened.

     And that's okay.

     It's okay if no one at all ever reads these words. The purpose of this blog is for me to write. And it has served its purpose, day after day, month after month, year after year. I write. That's what matters. Some days, it may only be one sentence. I thought it about it though, and one thankful sentence is better than no thankful sentences.

     Even if I never write and publish a book, even if no one at all every reads my words, I wrote them. That is all that matters. They are here. Words are forever. They cannot be unspoken.

     Thankful for a cozy place like this to write words that will be forever.

Thankful for time to be thankful.

October 12, 2018
Day 744

     Thankful for my husband, medicine, ice cream, soup, bagels, and my bed. Thankful for time to sleep off a root canal. Thankful for time to be thankful.

Thursday's List

October 11, 2018
Day 743

     Thankful that tomorrow is Friday. I have an unexpected day off from school. Root canal in the morning. Rest in the afternoon and evening. Thankful for my husband. Thankful that I can count on him. Thankful for my babies. Thankful for puppy kisses. I got to see a little puppy at work today. Thankful for my home. Thankful for time to sleep. Thankful for medicine.

Good time of day.

October 10, 2018
Day 742

     Thankful for time to sleep and rest and lay in bed and watch TV and not talk to anyone. This is a good time of day.

For time to cuddle.

October 9, 2018
Day 741

     Thankful for medicine. Thankful for time to sleep. Thankful for my home to drive home to. Thankful for time to lay in bed and sleep with my babies. Thankful for my sweet husband, who, as I write this is getting me a glass of water. Thankful for hot dogs on the grill. Thankful for cool weather coming. Thankful for stuff to be thankful for.

An extra day at home.

October 8, 2018

Day 740

     Thankful for a quiet day at home. Thankful for extra time with the ones I love. Thankful for birthday party plans. Thankful for extra days off work. Thankful for my husband. Thankful for my babes and my dog. Thankful for medicine. Thankful for cool air coming. Thankful that I can go to God when I'm afraid. 

People who love me.

October 7, 2018
Day 739

     Thankful for Armando. Thankful for family birthday parties. Thankful for things that are good. And lovely. Thankful for people that love me.

Sticky kisses.

October 6, 2018
Day 738

     Thankful for my beautiful life. Thankful for time spent outside with all my loves. Thankful for a fire pit with a friendly fire inside. Thankful for roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and smores. Thankful for sticky kisses. Thankful for wine and stars and bats and trees.

Time.

October 5, 2018
Day 737

     Thankful for a day called Friday. Thankful for a three day weekend ahead. Thankful for time to spend with my loves.

It's a sweet life.

October 4, 2018
Day 736

     Thankful, so, so, so beyond thankful that tomorrow is Friday, and we have a three day weekend. I need to relax in sweatpants on the couch. Thankful for my mom and my sister. Thankful for good friends at work. Thankful for sweet students to call mine. Thankful for extra time to sleep. Thankful for a fresh, new week ahead of me. Thankful for things to be thankful for. It's a sweet life. And I don't deserve it.

It's a good life I'm living.

October 3, 2018
Day 735

     Thankful for Wednesdays at school. We read all morning, and it makes me so happy. Thankful that it means that we are halfway done with this school day. Thankful for sweet students to call mine for an entire year. Thankful for sweet friends at work. Thankful that I get to see my sister every day at work. Thankful that I get to see my babies, and my niece and nephew every day at work. It's a good life I'm living. And I am very thankful.

A month called October.

October 2, 2018
Day 734

     Thankful for a month called October. Thankful for my baby boy who was born this month and who was and continues every day to be the joy of my life. Thankful for his love. Thankful for green eyes. Thankful for a boy named Tobin tonight. Thankful for his birth month. Thankful that it's going to start getting cold soon. I am aching for the cold.

A new day tomorrow.

October 1, 2018
Day 733

     Thankful for my husband. Thankful for my family. Thankful for the end of this day. Thankful for a new day tomorrow.