Halloween.

October 31, 2020

Day 1,456

Thankful for: 

A solid day of work behind me. 

A cold, brisk day. 

Lunch with my friends, Heidi and Anna. 

MOD pizza. I think pizza with cheese, tomatoes, olives, pineapples, artichokes, and ricotta is the best pizza of all. 

Being able to buy little cookies and treats for my babies. 

Coming home to my sweet little ones. 

Coming home to a clean home. 

A lovely fire pit. 

Time with my husband, my babies, Matt's mom, Steph, and Mario. 

Many bottles of wine. 

Hot dogs roasted on an open fire. 

Smores. 

Music. 

The great outdoors. 

American Spirits. 

Laughter. 

Stories. 

Big plans. 

Time with those that I love. 

The best Halloween. 

Going to sleep in a clean home.

October 30, 2020

Day 1,455

Thankful for: 

Fridays. 

Time to go grocery shopping. 

Time to sit on the couch and not do anything but watch TV. 

Time to clean my home. 

The ability to clean my home. 

The feeling of going to sleep in a clean home. 

A fun day ahead of us tomorrow. 

Books, rain, sweaters.

October 29, 2020

Day 1,454

     Thankful for: 

Rain. 

Sweaters. 

Pants. 

Water marbles. 

Hot tea. 

Apples. 

Hugs from Matt. 

Matt holding the umbrella for me while we walk Higbee. 

Books. 

Time to sleep. 

Time to read. 

A hair appointment coming up. 

Catching up with friends and my cousins. 

Tomorrow is Friday. 

Higbee waiting for me to walk him. 

Higbee cuddling in bed with me. 

My sister. 

Laughing with my sister. 

Watching a movie with the kids after school. 

Halloween on Saturday. 

A firepit night on the books. 

Good food to eat. 

Sanderson Surprise.

October 28, 2020

Day 1,453

     Today, I am thankful for walks after school. I am thankful for a lovely dinner of brown rice, sausage, brussel sprouts, and feta. The kids have affectionately named this dish: Sanderson Surprise. I am thankful for rain in the forecast. I am thankful for night time. For the dark night sky. I am thankful for my home. I am thankful that tomorrow is Thursday and the next day is Friday. I am thankful for Halloween. Thankful for a firepit night planned, and a party planned the next day. Thankful for fun days like crazy hair and silly sock day at school tomorrow and Friday. Thankful when I see my babies playing with our dog. Thankful for bats flying at night. Thankful for things to be thankful for. I don't deserve such blessings. They are all gifts. 

New shoes.

October 27, 2020

Day 1,452

     I'm thankful for a good Tuesday. I'm thankful for two new pairs of beautiful shoes. I'm thankful for pants to wear. I'm thankful for food to eat. For a comfortable car to drive. I'm thankful for my husband who loves me and lets me spend money on myself. I'm thankful for the feeling of a clean kitchen. I'm thankful for big mugs of hot tea. For vitamins. I'm thankful that tomorrow is Wednesday and after that it will be Thursday and then Friday. Thankful for Halloween coming this weekend. Thankful that I don't have to wear make-up anymore because I'm wearing a mask. It's freeing. It's liberating. I always feel fresh-freshed. I'm thankful for our little Kindle; it makes washing dishes much more enjoyable when I can watch Seinfeld while I watch. Thankful for our home in the wild woods. Thankful for cool weather. Thankful for my health and the health of my family. Thankful for a long phone call with my mom. Thankful for all of the good things in my life. There are more good things than I can count. I don't deserve any of it. 

The color of their lips.

October 26, 2020

Day 1,451

     Most nights, I write lists about what I'm thankful for. I write them because I've learned that not writing them is detrimental to my mental health and well-being. Not writing them allows me to become complacent. I go along thinking things are fine for a time and then I wake up one day and realize I'm in the middle of a black ocean in the middle of a stormy night with a leaky raft and no flashlight. I have no idea how I got there, but it happens every time. I end up there when I don't spend time each day being thankful. Being thankful is a part of my religion now. 

     It is through this practice of writing the good things that I realized the absolute beauty and truth and realness in the color of Adelyn and Tobin's eyes. In the perfect tone and shade of their skin. In the way they smile. In the way their rooms are always just a little bit messy. I realized that they are the flesh and blood embodiment of a promise kept. I love their tiny voices. I love their little fingers and fingernails. I love the way their bathroom is always messy and their sink is always full of toothpaste. I love the clothes they leave behind their bathroom door. I love the Legos strewn over every surface of the playroom. I love the way they want to cuddle in bed with me and read a book. I love the way they try to help. I love their salty tears. The color of their lips. The way my arms feel when I hold them. The way our life looks because of them. They are my reason for waking in the morning. They are my reason for working hard. They are my reason for trying to better myself.

     I'm thankful for two little people named Adelyn Bailey and Tobin Solomon. They are the greatest gifts I have ever received. And I am fully aware that I did absolutely nothing to deserve them or the happiness and joy they bring me. They, and the joy they bring, are pure and absolute: gift. 

     

Messes to clean up.

October 25, 2020

Day 1,450

Thankful for: 

Sundays. 

Big family dinners. 

The sound of children laughing and playing. 

Messes to clean up. It means my home is full and my heart is happy. 

Fresh homemade bread, roasted sweet potatoes, roasted potatoes, rice, chicken, roasted carrots, salad, and two homemade desserts. 

Rain. 

Hugs and kisses when it's time for everyone to go home. 

Stacks of books beside my bed. 

New clothes to wear to school tomorrow. 

It's good to be able to write a sentence like that.

October 24, 2020

Day 1,479

Today was very productive: 

I voted. 

I went shopping and got more pants. I'm sad to say that I haven't worn pants in over 5 years (with the exception of yoga pants) because I was scared to buy a bigger size than a size 6. Stupidest five year decision ever. I love all my new pants! 

Me, my kids, Patty, and her kids all got flu shots today at Target. 

Adelyn and I had eye appointments today. Matt's mom paid for my contacts and for Adelyn's new glasses. She loves to bless people in extravagent and extraordinary ways. She has a really big heart, and I'm so glad that I get to call her my family. 

I came home and baked bread. 

We had sandwiches and soup for dinner. 

We watched Harry Potter. 

It was a very good day. It's good to be able to write a sentence like that. 

I'm thankful. 

Friday Five.

October 23, 2020

Day 1,478

Thankful for: 

Fridays. 

Pizza. 

Movies. 

Time to relax and be with my loves in our home. 

Bedtime. 

Boxers.

October 22, 2020

Day 1,477

     I am so thankful that tomorrow is Friday. More thankful than I've ever been for Friday! This week was long. It was very good, but it was very long. I'm ready for a rest. I am excited to make bread and relax with some long walks and long movies. Today, I am thankful for the marbled orb weaver I saw this morning. I am thankful for leaf bugs crawling up the sunny spots of a tree trunk during recess. I am thankful for sweet children. I am thankful to be at home in my safe place with my favorite people in the world. I'm thankful for our dry erase message board where Matt and I leave each other funny messages. I am thankful for the way Matt greeted me when I came home from school this late afternoon: standing in our open garage in nothing but his boxers. He's like, "What? We live in the country." Something we've discovered is this: it doesn't matter what you wear when you live in the country. It's liberating! 

     Thankful for a good and full Thursday. Thankful that tomorrow is Friday. 

Bats flying.

October 21, 2020

Day 1,476

Thankful for: 

long walks with my children and Higbee. 

the feeling of having all the lunches and my tea and coffee prepped for tomorrow morning. 

a nice salad for lunch tomorrow: tomato, cucumber, olives, feta, parsley, and red onion. 

time to lay in bed and drink tea. 

blister peanuts. 

it's almost Friday. 

hugs and kisses before bedtime. 

texts from Matt. 

plans to relax this weekend. 

I'm almost one week down of the two week fundraiser I'm doing at school. 

fall leaves. 

crunchy gravel. 

bats flying at twilight. 

talking with Adelyn and Tobin. 

a long phone call with my mom. 

jeans. 

time dedicated for sleeping. 

Wildly, deeply, without condition.

October 20, 2020

Day 1,475

     Tonight, Matt laid in bed with me and looked into my eyes and told me all the things he loved about my face. He loves my nose; he always has he said. He loves my teeth. He loves my cheeks. He said he loves to tuck hair behind my ear because it's very personal and romantic. He said he gets to tuck my hair behind my ear. He gets to. This was all after he went walking with me so I could get to 10,000 steps. I love walking with Matt. We hold hands. We talk. We laugh. Walking dates are my new favorite dates with Matt. 

     Thankful for Matt. Thankful for the way he loves me. Unconditionally. He loves me for who I am. He loves the very soul of me. It's a grand thing to be loved so wildly and deeply and without condition. 

Peace and comfort.

October 19, 2020

Day 1,474

Thankful for: 

Mondays. 

New projects at school. 

Sweet students. 

Texts from Matt. 

Hitting 10,000 steps without going for a long walk. 

Coming home to Higbee. 

Things to be thankful for. 

Yellow leaves. 

The crunch of gravel under my feet. 

My home; it's a haven of peace and comfort. 

Jeans. 

Hugs and kisses from my babies. 

Reading books in bed with my babies. 

Having them fall asleep while I'm reading and sleep in bed with me because Matt is working 24 hours. I never make them move when Matt is at work. It's a cozy sleep. 

Tobin's birthday party.

October 18, 2020

Day 1,473

Thankful for: 

a lovely birthday party for Tobin. 

bread and cheese and tomatoes and olives with Sue, Steph, and Mario. 

awesome presents for Tobin. 

pizza for dinner. 

homemade bread and butter. 

bowls of candy. 

awesome decorations for Tobin's Harry Potter birthday party. 

awesome games for Tobin's party; Addy made all the games and ran them for the party. 

time to catch up with family. 

laughter. 

little babies. 

goody bags. 

chicken wings. 

delicious cake. 

a newly decorated playroom with leftover decorations for Tobin's party. 

a new week starting. 

I get to wear jeans to work tomorrow. 

Tobin. 

Adelyn. 

Casey. 

Odette. 

Sophia. 

Ryker. 

Oliver. 

Sundays. 

time to visit with my grandma. 

time to visit with my parents. 

Super hero.

October 17, 2020

Day 1,472

     Today, I: 

-painted a bedroom for Tobin. 

-moved all of his bedroom stuff out of his old bedroom. 

-moved all of the playroom stuff out of the playroom. 

-put Tobin's stuff in his new bedroom. 

-put the playroom stuff back in the playroom. 

-baked two loaves of bread from scratch. 

-made a confetti cake from scratch. 

-I watched a movie with my kids. 

I'm basically a super hero today. 

Thankful I could accomplish all this today. 

Four things on a Friday.

October 16, 2020

Day 1,471

Thankful for: 

Fridays. 

time to go shopping by myself. 

new clothes. 

coming home the sweetest people and dog ever and our life together. 

Tobin Solomon Sanderson

October 15, 2020

Day 1,470

Today, I am thankful for my Tobin boy. I'm thankful for the color of his eyes. I'm thankful for the way he kisses and hugs and cuddles. I'm thankful for the foods he loves to eat. I'm thankful for the way he wears his hair. I'm thankful for the way he plays. For the way he loves. For everything about him that makes him him. He's my favorite son. 

Thankful for: Tobin Solomon Sanderson. He makes my heart happier than I ever thought it could be. 

Little list of lovely things.

October 14, 2020

Day 1,469

Thankful for: 

a day called Wednesday. 

cool mornings. 

a delicious lunch. 

time in the mornings with my babies. 

texts from Matt. 

kisses and hugs from Matt. 

my job. 

my students. 

our home. 

Fresh bread to take to friends.

October 13, 2020

Day 1,468

Thankful for: 

early Tuesday mornings. 

fresh bread to take to friends. 

sweet students. 

the thought of all my great loves at home together today. 

warm sunshine, cool breeze. 

a delicious lunch. 

Tacos on Tuesday. 

time to go shopping for new clothes by myself. 

a pretty new dress. 

cozy, new sweaters. 

time to lay in bed. 

rearranging Adelyn's room at 10 o'clock at night. 

hot tea; shows; books. 

time to sleep all night until the morning. 

Whatever you please.

October 12, 2020
Day 1,467

     This day was good. I slept in. We watched Harry Potter. I did some party planning for Tobin's birthday party. I did some school work. I baked two loaves of bread. The kids and I got some fries on the way home from school. What is it about french fries in the car? Why is that so good? I made "Sanderson Surprise" for dinner. The kids named it that. It's basically a grain bowl. Rice, sausage, brussel spouts, cilantro, tomatoes, and olives. It was delicious. It was rainy today. It was quiet and peaceful and colorful in the woods. I think Mondays are special and fun when they're spent at home doing whatever you please. 

     Thankful for a "whatever you please" Monday. 

The feeling of Sundays.

October 11, 2020

Day 1,466

Thankful for: 

A day at home with my loves. 

Rain. 

Afternoon delight. 

Evening delight. 

Grocery shopping all by myself. 

A simple, yet lovely dinner of bread, cheese, olives, tomatoes, basil, and steak. 

Ice cream with sprinkles. 

The feeling of Sundays. 

Lovely Saturday.

October 10, 2020

Day 1,465

Thankful for: 

 a day to bake bread. 

a day to cook with my sister. 

tea with my sister. 

time for my kids to play with their cousins. 

family dinner. 

baby Oliver is getting fuzzy hair. 

laughter. 

time to watch Harry Potter. 

a fine day at home. 

a day to celebrate Armando's birthday. 

Armando; he's such a good guy that he came over and worked on Matt's vehicle on his birthday. 

a delicious meal paired with homemade bread. 

Four things on a Friday.

October 9, 2020

Day 1,464

Thankful for: 

Fridays. 

pizza with Patty and AJ and their kids. 

three days ahead with all my loves. 

a good day at school. 

A grassy spot.

October 8, 2020

Day 1,463

Thankful for: 

Matt staying home with my babies who aren't feeling well. 

texts from my husband. 

my students. 

my family. 

coffee and cream; is there any better flavor combination?

tea. 

tea during recess. 

a grassy spot in the grass under a shady tree. 

warm sun paired with a cool wind. 

rain in the forecast for the weekend. 

Five.

October 7, 2020

Day 1,462

Thankful for: 

the end of long days. 

my bed. 

dinner at home with the ones I love. 

laughter. 

love from my children and my husband. 

Glorious sunrises.

October 6, 2020

Day 1,461

Thankful for: 

a day called Tuesday. 

cool air and warm sunshine. 

glorious sunrises. 

time to pray in the morning. 

hearing my kids pray for their upcoming day. 

sitting next to my sister in morning devotions. 

being around family all day at work; even though we're not in the same room. 

Fresh Mondays.

October 5, 2020

Day 1,460

Thankful for: 

sweet students. 

a fresh, new week. 

fresh Mondays. 

cooler weather in the forecast. 

watching my students conquer things that they have struggled with. 

my husband. 

my children. 

our home in the wild woods. 

our driveway. 

fall. 

crunchy leaves. 

Sunday's List.

October 4, 2020

Day 1,459

Thankful for: 

long walks. 

cool weather. 

homemade bread. 

big pots of soup. 

chicken tacos. 

Seinfeld. 

time to watch a movie with my kids. 

lavender. 

Peach tranquility tea. 

time to lay in bed with Matt. 

time to sleep. 

another new week of school starting tomorrow. 

Easy Saturday.

September 3, 2020

Day 1,458

Thankful for: 

time to bake bread. 

time to play with my kids. 

long walks in the neighborhood. 

time to relax. 

time to sleep.

another whole day at home with my loves. 

Friday firepit night.

October 2, 2020

Day 1,457

Thankful for: 

Fridays. 

having quiet time after school on Friday to get things done. 

cupcakes. 

flowers in cute glass jars. 

our firepit. 

many glasses of wine. 

time to talk with my husband. 

seeing my kids laugh and have fun playing outside at night. 

evenings in the fall. 

American Spirits. 

a very hot shower followed by a very cold shower followed by a very hot shower; I like to change the water from very hot to very cold to very hot again. 

I don't have to set my alarm for tomorrow. 

Seven things on a Thursday.

October 1, 2020

Day 1,456

Thankful for: 

the first day of October. 

fall is here. 

summer is over. 

this week is almost over. 

very chilly mornings. 

my husband, kids, and Higbee. 

the feeling of safety I feel when I'm in my home.