Emma, Matthew, and Hunter. A very good Sunday.

Project 365 * 4
Day 682

52 Kind Things

     This past week was insanely busy, so the only kind things I had time to do were kind things for my family. But correct me if I'm wrong here...isn't washing dishes multiple times a day, cooking multiple times a day, doing laundry, picking up toys...all that stuff that a mom has to do...those are kind things. We have to do them. But they're still kind.

52 People I Love

     I've been thinking about three special friends of mine. Emma, Matthew, and Hunter. The daughter and sons of my friend, Mary-Pat. They are three of the sweetest people. I loved going to family dinners at Mary-Pat's house when I was younger because it meant spending time with them. I love Emma because she is the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful girl. She's a beautiful girl with a beautiful heart. I love Matthew because he likes to act like he's a tough guy, but really, he's a teddy bear. He likes to make people laugh, and he has the best smile. I love Hunter because he's always happy. He's always smiling. And he also likes to make people laugh. He's a chef now, and I cannot wait to visit him one day and try some of his delicious looking food. I miss them. I think of them often. And I cannot wait until we see each other again one day.



     Thankful for dinner dates. Thankful for time to celebrate Steph's birthday. Thankful for the time I got to spend with my cousin's two sweet boys, Jake and Christopher. Jake and Christopher have the most beautiful eyes and eyelashes. I could not stop staring at them. Thankful for time spent with my husband tonight. Thankful for a trip to the grocery store with my girl this afternoon. Thankful for more kisses than I can count from Tobin today. He just kept giving them out. I'll never say no to a kiss from my boy. Thankful for a very busy, but very good weekend.

Saturdays.

Project 365 * 4

Day 681

     Thankful for Saturday mornings. Thankful for new contacts. I hate wearing glasses all the time. Thankful for the rain. It makes this lazy Saturday so much more cozy and comfy. Thankful for time to snuggle my babes. Thankful that I have one more day off before another busy week at school. 

Happy Adelyn. 

Tired Tobin. 

Raindrops and Blessings and Christmas.

Project 365 * 4
Day 680

     "We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love..."

     When we lost River, I doubted. The day before she was born and died, I laid on the couch in our living room. I stared out the window and cried. I kept my hands on my belly. I felt River move inside me as I doubted. And questioned. And begged for a miracle. I have never felt so alone. So scared. So helpless. Or more devastated. I doubted that day. And for many days afterwards. For many months afterwards. It was a dark time.

     "What if your blessings come through raindrops? What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?"

     Losing River was the most devastating event of my life. But giving birth to her, holding her, knowing her, smelling her, and loving her has been the most extraordinary event of my life. Her life, her death...the biggest rain storm I've ever known, has turned out to be one of my life's greatest blessings. I never would have known life as I know it now had it not been for River. I never would have known that being thankful everyday is the greatest therapy known to man. I never would have known that life can be lived without fear. I never would have known how important time is. I never would have known that blessings can come through raindrops.

     As I was driving to work this morning, flipping through the radio stations, watching the rain fall, I heard a song that I heard years ago. A few weeks after I lost River. I don't think it's a coincidence. I think it's a reminder. I don't think it's a coincidence that I'm having this rush of memories so close to Christmas. River was supposed to be my Christmas baby. She was due on December 24th. I still think of her as my Christmas baby. She was one of the greatest gifts that I've ever received. How could I be anything but grateful for the time I had with her? How could I be anything but thankful that she was mine.

     Thankful for my Christmas baby; the biggest and greatest gift I've ever received in such a tiny package. Thankful for blessings through raindrops. For mercies in disguise. Thankful for this special season filled with wonder and excitement. Thankful for the thrill of hope. A time for a weary world to rejoice. Thankful for the rain this morning. Thankful for this: "It came without presents. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes, or bags. Maybe Christmas, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more." Yes. It means more. Christmas is about a great gift. A gift of love. And hope. And peace. And just like the first Christmas gift, my Christmas baby was a gift of love and hope and peace. And for that, I am forever thankful and grateful and blessed.

Sleep.

Project 365 * 4
Day 678

   

     Thankful for bedtime. Thankful for many hugs, kisses, and cuddles from babies. Thankful that tomorrow is Friday. I am so ready for the weekend. I cannot wait to sleep. Just so ready to sleep. Glorious, glorious sleep. 

My most favorite words.

Project 365 * 4
Day 677

   

     This is what I'm most thankful for tonight: 

     "On mor lu, Mama, on mor lu." -Tobin (Translation: one more round of la, la, lu before bedtime.)

     "Mama!!!!!!!" -Adelyn and Tobin (Followed by many hugs and kisses when I pick up my kids after work.)

     "Lu you, Mama." -Tobin

     "Can you cuddle with me until I fall asleep?" -Adelyn

     "I like to sneak into your room in the middle of the night and cuddle with you." -Adelyn

     "Isn't he precious?" -Adelyn talking about Tobin

     "Hold me, Mama!" -Tobin. And he says this about once every 10 minutes or so. 

     Those are my favorite words right now. Words are important to me. And I never want to forget these. Thankful for two babies named Adelyn and Tobin. 

     

For when you're having a dark day...

Project 365 * 4
Day 676

     Thankful for warm and cozy evenings spent with my babes. Thankful for the best welcome home crew ever. Thankful for so many hugs, cuddles, and kisses today. Hugs, cuddles, and kisses warm the heart and soul on cold nights like this. Thankful for smiles. And laughter.

     For the month of November, I made a patchwork quilt of thankfulness in my classroom. I had each student fill out 10-15 cards with the things they are most thankful for. I took it down today to decorate for Christmas, but I can't bear to throw them away. My plan is to keep them safe somewhere, and pull them out when I'm having a dark day. Dark days can't prevail when you have the light and love of so many amazing children surrounding you. I'm thankful for second graders.

Chilly, cozy, Christmas-y evening.

Project 365 * 4
Day 676

     Thankful for Christmas decorations. Thankful for the way Adelyn and Tobin reacted when they came down to find that, Buddy, our Christmas elf, had put up two Christmas trees and left a big pile of things for them to decorate with. We spent our evening hanging ornaments and stockings. It was great fun. Thankful for a chilly evening to spend inside relaxing. Thankful for night time. Sometimes, I wish I could just spend all day cuddling in bed with my babies, my husband, and my pup. That would pretty much be the best day ever.

I told him to smile. Instead, he picked his nose. 

I told her to smile. She posed like this, and told me it was her princess smile.