21. Sister Date

Day 21: Sister Date
     Love hanging out with Patty. We got to see an old friend tonight...but not before we took a wrong turn and ended up on the toll road with literally zero cash. That was fun. We always get lost, or take wrong turns when we are together...but we always end up in the right place sooner or later.
     We did lots of baby/kid talk with our friend. It was good to catch up. Then we went out for a lovely meal ;) We were both dead tired today, but we still had a blast. Laughing. Lots of laughing. It's what we do best.
     Seriously, everyone needs a Patty. I'm blessed to have her.

20. The Clingy Stage

 Day 20. The Clingy Stage

     Adelyn is going through a clingy stage. She literally wants me to, "hold you," all day. "Hold you," means: hold me. I literally cannot do anything if she is awake without her begging for me to hold her, or hearing her whine because I'm not holding her, or having her cling onto my legs while whining because I'm not holding her, etc...

     My house is pretty messy. (By my standards, anyways...) Laundry needs to get done. I have to vacuum large tumbleweeds of Roxy's black hair that is collecting in the corners of each room. The white carpet is looking slightly grayish. Bathrooms need to be cleaned. A shower would be nice. But...

     I am in love with this clingy stage. The house can wait. I can shower when she's in bed. I love that my Addy B wants me 24/7. She wants me to hold her all day...no problem. I love how she rests her head on my shoulder. I love that she plays with my hair while I hold her. I love that she wants to just sit cuddled up in my lap for long periods of time. I loved hearing her wake up from nap today asking, "Maaamaaa...where are you?" Maamaa...Maamaa...where are you?" When I went into get her, true to form, she smiled and asked me to hold her.

     There won't be many years left of this. Already, my baby is becoming more and more of a big girl. I look forward to each new stage, of course, but...this clingy stage? I'll take this for a while. And I won't complain.

19. Acts of Courage

Day 19: Acts of Courage

     I enjoy witnessing acts of courage. I am a person that knows the value of courage. I know that what may seem like small potatoes to some may be another person's greatest monster. The thing they fear most. I respect people who chase down their greatest monster...and stomp on it. Crushing fear, courage prevailing.

     Patty is afraid of ticks. She hates ticks. One of her greatest monsters. This week, I had the pleasure of watching her face the monster.

     While playing outside with Casey and Adelyn at our favorite tree, she showed great courage. Three small little girls were also playing around the tree. (Seriously...everyone is drawn to our tree. It's amazing.) The smallest girl was talking to Patty, and she noticed she had a tick crawling on her. Patty could have sent her packing. She could have said, "Go tell your Mom or Dad." But she didn't. She got it off of her. That took courage.

     Last night, I got a text from Patty. She had a tick on her leg. A.J. is out of town. So, the options were: 1. She gets it off herself, or 2. Matt would drive over and get it off. (I hate ticks too...not good at removing them. Matt is a pro. He's had Lyme Disease, and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) She chose option 1. That took courage.

     As I said...small potatoes to some. Greatest monster for Patty. Facing a great monster...that's pretty kick-ass!

   

18. Playing Games

Day 18: Playing Games
     Love playing games. Especially with family who loves to laugh. I love watching Matt get pissed when I'm winning! He sticks his tongue into the bottom corner of his mouth...and I know, he's getting really frustrated. He's very competitive. I love watching Steph laugh so hard, it looks like she's actually sobbing. And Mario's laugh is so contagious.
     Love spending time with family. And playing games.

17. Stretch Marks

Day 17:Stretch Marks

     I know this doesn't seem like something to be thankful for. And I'm not really thankful...I just accept them. They are my battle scars from birthing my girl. And everyone knows...scars are way cool!

      External beauty fades. Not one person can keep their body from sagging, wrinkling, and aging. But...is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. I will never have the body I did in high school. Who cares? I don't. I have a husband who loves and adores me. I have Adelyn.

     I would much rather have Adelyn and stretch marks...than no Adelyn and a flawless belly.

 

16. Promises

Day 16: Promises

     Awesome day today. I am amazed and in awe of the promises that continue to unfold before us. There is something so profound about seeing something you are promised become reality. Taking on character. Becoming more and more present. Hopes and dreams realized.

     Holding onto that dream. Holding onto hope. Holding onto my promises.


    

   

15. Sleeping Roxy

     There is perhaps no more peaceful sound than a sleeping dog. Especially, sleeping Roxy. How awesome is it that there is a furry, cute animal sleeping in bed with us. Who loves to cuddle with us. And when the sound of sleeping Roxy is accompanied by the sound of sleeping Matt, and sleeping Addy...that is the sound of peace.

14. Picnics, Playgrounds, and Playing in the Rain

Day 14: Picnics, Playgrounds, and Playing in the Rain

     We had a fun morning. We went to Claude Moore Playground. Usually the place is packed! There has to be at least 50 people there at all times. But, because it was a bit cloudy and sprinkling on and off...there was only two other families at the park. We went with Patty, Casey, Megan, and Robby. Adelyn is becoming quite the tomboy as she is always playing with little boys!

     The kids were having a great time, and then it started raining. At first, we tried to keep them dry under the one umbrella at the park. However, holding a squirming toddler on your hip while in the presence of an awesome playground (or any playground for that matter) is impossible. We were soon forced to let them go. It turned out to be pretty awesome. They loved playing in the rain.

     The rain made the slides even more fun.

     Just one of several videos I took of the kids sliding/falling off the very slippery slides.

     After we played for a while, we had a picnic. First ever picnic for the little ones. They loved it. They especially loved the little picnic table that was just their size! Not sure that everyone had the most balanced lunch...but they ate. And because us Mamas need a treat now and then too...we went to Carousel. Had some fries and ice cream. It was pretty awesome. 

     Thankful we got to make some fun memories with our little ones today.  And thankful for Carousel. :)

13. Greenie

Day 13: Greenie
     Greenie Bear. I swear he is Skipper reincarnated. He is so amazing with Casey and Adelyn. He will literally play with them for hours. It's often Casey and Adelyn who tire first when he's playing with them. He loves stuffed animals, and he steals them from the kids any chance he gets. He even opens drawers to get to them...pulling the drawer out by his teeth. He is so wiggly! He sometimes jumps up and down on all fours when he's excited. He loves to be a lap dog. He loves to cuddle with you, but you can't hold him. If you try to hold or hug him...it lights this little ignition switch in him. He goes berserk. He wiggles furiously back and forth to try to escape. He loves to curl up into a tiny ball on the couch. Sometimes his breath stinks really bad. But it's okay.
     I love him. Makes me miss Skipper.

12. Trees

Day 12: Trees

     I love trees. I write about them often. There are three trees that are my favorite. The first is our cherry tree on China Grove. It was the most magnificent cherry tree I've ever seen. Truly. I use the word magnificent because it was. It was gorgeous. And in the spring...the blossoms were so vividly pink. The second is our cherry tree on Rogue Forest. I love it because my Grandfather planted it for us. I love it because it grows with us as our family grows. It too is turning out to be an amazing tree. With amazingly pink blossoms. I don't know if it's possible that two of my favorite trees have pinker (yeah, I said pinker) blossoms than other cherry trees...but they sure do seem brighter and more beautiful. The third is the tree by the graveyard in our neighborhood. It is one of the most peaceful places. Addy and I walk there almost everyday. She is drawn to the tree, just as I am. In fact, Casey is drawn there too. It's interesting that two toddlers who want nothing more than to run free when they are outside actually walk to the tree...and stay there. They walk around it. They touch it. They talk about it in their own language. They sit by it. They lean against it. They collect twigs around it. And I stand there and watch it. I love to watch them by our tree.

     I love it because there's a history there. Our history. And standing by our tree makes me feel happy, joyful, and most of all...peace-full.

11. April 29th

Day 11: April 29th

     April 29th is a special day. My sister's birthday. Love my sister. My best friend since the day she was born.

     Patricia, I love you because: You are amazing. You are so beautiful. And not just on the outside. You are there for me always. You would drop anything to help a friend. You are a wonderful Mama. You are a wonderful Tante. You are so giving. And loyal. Your laughter is contagious. I love you because you are you.

     Not sure where this is from...(pretty sure it's from a movie), but, "I'd miss you even if I never met you..." that pretty much sums it up. I'd be so lonely without you.

     Happy Birthday, Patty. I love you so much!

     (BTW, this is not my last "Patty" post) :)

10. Fun days at home with Addy

Day 10: Fun days at home with Addy

     It was a chilly, windy, rainy-ish day. Perfect for staying inside and having fun with my girl.

     Today was awesome. A relaxing day with my little love. We played babies a lot! We fed the babies. We changed their diapers. We laid them down to sleep. We held them. We comforted them when they cried. She is a very good Mama. We read books. We sang songs. We danced. We made a fun bed on the floor out of lots of big blankets and watched a movie. We played with Roxy. And cuddled with her. Addy took a long bath. And I was very surprised that when I went to put her down to sleep...she was exhausted. She closed her eyes before I left the room.

     Sign of day well done. I love Adelyn.

9. Dancing

Day 9: Dancing

     I love to dance. It makes me happy. And I really don't care what I look like, or who is watching...I just dance. I have passed this love of dancing onto my daughter. She loves to dance. She dances to songs from shows, little songs that play on her toys, and sometimes...she dances just because. There doesn't have to be any music. She doesn't care. She just dances. And I love it.

     Her favorite song is, "We found love," by Rihanna. This did not happen on purpose. Nor am I proud to admit that my daughter's favorite song is by Rihanna. However, in her defense...it is an awesome song, and she has never seen the music video, obviously. (The video made the song come down in notch in my book. It feels like such a joyful, happy song...and the video is the opposite of that.) We love to turn the volume all the way up, and dance around our kitchen. Addy's favorite way to dance is to turn around in circles until she falls over. Or to make me hold her while we dance together. It makes me really tired to dance that way. But I don't mind.

     I hope she never stops dancing. I hope that she continues dancing no matter what she looks like. No matter who may be watching. I hope she always wants me dance with her. Even when I'm 90 years old.

8. Dogs

Day 8: Dogs

     This will not be my last post about dogs. I'm sure there may be at least 5. Seriously...there is no greater creature in the animal kingdom than the dog. They are the epitome of loyalty and unconditional love. And personally, I feel that all those "mean" dogs out there just weren't trained properly or loved enough.

     There is one dog that I never knew personally, but think of often. I was driving to work one day. Feeling blah. Going through stuff. I came to a red light next to an old truck. For no reason I looked over. It was one of those trucks that is only three seats across. There was a very old man driving, and sitting right next to him, cuddled into his side, was a dog. The man had his arm draped over the dog's back, and the dog had his head resting on the man's shoulder. I watched them sit together like that...driving in the early morning traffic. Light after light. Cuddled. Embracing each other. It was one of the sweetest moments I've ever witnessed between human and dog. It made my day.

     I went home, and cuddled my dog.

     Thankful for dogs that love me.

  

7. Hawks

Day 7: Hawks

     I never thought I would view hawks as a symbol of hope and peace. I never thought I would see them daily...soaring above me whenever my mind begins to doubt. They find and seem to follow me whenever I am outside. Much like the butterflies that would flutter around me daily after I lost River. Hawks have become as much a symbol of him as butterflies are of her. Daily reminders that there is hope. There is a gift waiting. That I should not fear. That I should trust.

     I look up at them, and I just have to smile. I cannot continue to doubt. But my mind is a powerful thing, and I find myself in the same position the next day. And then...my hawk. My daily reminder. A soaring emblem of my future. My Jeremiah 29:11.

     I should have known when I saw that first hawk soar over our favorite tree. And especially when it landed in the tree. And began calling out to me. Squawking at me. This strange and loud scream of a squawk. But it wasn't enough for this doubting Thomas. He gave me daily hawks to remind me that "God is good," and "peace," is coming.

6. Bedtime

Day 6: Bedtime
     Okay. It's been a long day. Day 6 is going to be short and sweet. I love my bed. I love the smell of the sheets and the blankets. I love that we have at least 8 pillows in bed at all times. I love that Roxy sleeps in bed with us. It's cozy. But sometimes...she's a bed hog. I love watching Seinfeld or The Office before I go to sleep every night. I love that my stuffed dog, "my dog," still sleeps in bed with me. He's been sleeping in bed with me since I was 2. Yeah, I'm 30, and I still sleep with a stuffed dog. So.
     I love every day I spend with my Addy girl. We always have awesome days together. Bedtime is just the icing on the cake.
    
    

5. "Drives" with Patty

Day 5: "Drives" with Patty

     There is an Otterstedt girls tradition. Drives. It is one of our favorite things to do. A drive is something we do when we are happy. Sad. Bored. Hungry. Fighting. Depressed. Stressed. Basically whenever we need to just get away. A drive used to consist of a full tank of gas, a fresh pack of Camels, and Ludacris. Now, our drives consist of whatever gas we have in the tank, some kind of snack, and mellow music. But the journey is always the same. We get in the car feeling depleted. And when we return...we are different. Better. Rejuvenated.

     There is something magical about driving down dark roads for hours with your best friend. And if on some dark night you find yourself with nothing to do, and feeling a bit empty...I suggest a drive with someone like Patty.

4. Rainy Sundays

Day 4: Rainy Sundays

     I love rainy days. Some people loathe them, and I'm not sure why. I would personally hate if it was sunny 24/7. I may be biased, because I absolutely despise the sun. Most summer days...I wish I could shoot the sun out of the sky with a machine gun. (I've said it before, and I'm saying it again.) It's the truth. I actually think that on hot summer days. On more than one occasion...I have been so miserable in the heat of the sun that it actually reduces me to tears.

     But the rain...I love the rain. It gives me an excuse to stay inside my cozy home all day long. We watch movies. We eat soup. We cuddle under blankets. We paint pictures. And read books. Today, Addy did some water color paintings of a skunk, and some ducks. It's a good excuse to let the dishes wait. And to hold off on the cleaning. And to just...relax. And relish in the fact that we have a warm, cozy home to cuddle in.

     I love the rain. But rain on a Sunday? That's the whole package.

3. Ice Cream

Day 3: Ice Cream

     Ice cream. Need I say more?

     It doesn't matter how bad of a day I've had. It doesn't matter how full I may be already. It doesn't even matter if I'm on a diet. I don't even feel guilty about eating it. Ice cream makes everything feel just a bit better. I have always been an ice cream girl. I have always loved it.

     "Moi ein, pees?" First thing I said after my Dad had to literally force feed me my first taste of ice cream. He said I had clenched my teeth closed, and was shaking my head back and forth saying no. Repeatedly. He said he had to grab my face, and literally force me to try it. And of course...the rest is history.

     I have a motto: "There's always room for ice cream." Everyone should try to live by this. I do.  

 

2. Matt

     Day 2 of 100: Matt

     Matt. My husband. My love. The only man I've ever loved. Ours is a great love story. And like every great love story...it hasn't been perfect. There have been bad days. Bad months. Even bad years. But, through it all...he has loved me. Unconditionally.

     Some people may search a lifetime to find the love of their life. Some may never find it. How incredibly blessed I am. I found the love of my life when I was still a child. We fell in love in high school. And even before we fell in love...there were instances of "something" I cannot explain. It was mainly just a feeling I got whenever I was around him.

      We had classes together in middle school. In our History class, Matt would make fun of me constantly. He would call me a Nazi, and march around me saying, "Heil Hitler!" I would do my best to ignore his taunts, but I must confess...I went home and cried about it on more than one occasion. My parents assured me that he probably just liked me, and didn't know how to tell me. Of course, I refused to believe them. Matt said he was calling me a Nazi because I had blond hair and blue eyes. So, I must be an Aryan. And a Nazi. He saw that it made me crazy with anger and frustration. So he continued to tease me. When we started dating, my parents asked him about it one day at dinner. He admitted that yes, he liked me. And he didn't know how to tell me.

     We had another History class together in high school. He sat in back of me. He would stretch his legs out around my desk so that when I looked down, I could see his feet. He was usually wearing sneakers or a raggedy pair of Adidas sandals. I loved seeing his feet there around my desk. As I said, I can't explain it. It was just this feeling I got. Cozy. Safe. Like I was home. The only explanation I have for the feeling is that we are soul-mates. And being near him even before we fell in love made me feel...whole.

     We ran track together. There was one track meet in particular where we came back home changed and different. It was at Virginia Tech. An away meet. I was there to high jump, and he was there to do some distance run. We spent the entire day together cuddled in my sleeping bag under the bleachers. Playing hang-man. Flirting. Talking. Brushing my hand against his made my stomach jump. I saved one of the games of hang-man we played together. I had to guess the words, "I know somebody who likes you." Of course...it was him.We came home different people. We came home in love. And that love has never ceased. 

     Matt is the most incredible man I know. And he's mine. He's my husband. My love. The Father of my children. I get to kiss his lips for the rest of my life. I can hold his hand whenever I want to. He amazes me. His love for me, and for our little family is so real. And so big. He works so hard for us. I am literally living my dream life because of him. We have an amazing home. Two beautiful daughters. I get to be a stay at home Mama to my Adelyn because he works so hard. And everything he makes, he spends on us. On his girls. He is a dream come true.

     I'm going to end this with Matt's words. Words that he has written to me. Because they are too beautiful not to share:

"My love, my life, my wife,
You are my best friend, my soul-mate,
You are my everything.
My life is nothing without you.
Without you my lungs have no air,
My voice has no soul,
My heart has no reason for beating.
You are the reason I'm alive.
I love you with all my heart."