Thursday, February 28, 2019

Birthday boys.

February 28, 2019
Day 883

Thankful for:

my brother, Shane. Today is his birthday!

my nephew, Casey. Today is his birthday!

birthday parties.

big birthday cakes.

nachos for dinner.

Adelyn.

Tobin.

Sophia.

Odette.

Dogs.

Higbee's love of apples.

snow days.

I'm off tomorrow; I can't believe it; I'm so happy.

Seinfeld.

extra long baths.

bubbles in baths.

lotion.

time to myself.

my babies cuddled together in bed with their stuffed animals.

Higbee resting with his head on my leg.

time to write about the good bits in life.

words.

the hope of being a great author one day.

not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

I'm on the watch.

February 27, 2019
Day 882

     "I'm on the watch for it." -Louis May Alcott.

     I've been saying and saying these words to myself. I'm on the watch. I feel a bubbling over in my soul. A low simmer that is threatening to overflow the pot and spill out over the edges. I feel a great something rising up inside me. I don't know what it is, but I'm on the watch.

     Here's what I know:

Tomorrow is a new day. I can make it what I want.

     Thankful for that possibility; tomorrow.

     Thankful for that word; tomorrow.

     Thankful for time to sleep until tomorrow.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Seinfeld and Tea.

February 26, 2019
Day 881

     Tonight, I went in to kiss Tobin goodnight, and he was cuddled up in his blanket cuddling a stuffed animal. My Tobin boy loves his stuffed animals. He loves to cuddle. And he's not feeling well. When my boy isn't feeling well, I just want to love on him even more than I already do. I'm thankful for my cuddly boy. He's always been my cuddle boy. He makes my arms feel full and satisfied when I hold him.

     Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for her sassy, strong-willed personality. She's super strong. I know she's going to do something amazing. Thankful for my lighthouse girl. She shines so bright, I could never be lost with her around.

     Thankful for Hibgee. I love the way he jumps up on me after school.

     Thankful for Matt. He loves me so wildly and deeply. He just loves me. Fact. Period. Nothing to be done about it. He always has. And I know he always will.

     Thankful for family. Thankful for good Tuesdays. Thankful for bedtime. And Seinfeld. And tea.

Monday, February 25, 2019

The smell of lavender.

February 25, 2019
Day 880

Thankful for:

my warm home.

strong trees.

the power of prayer.

hawks.

early bedtimes.

sweet students.

good Mondays.

fresh new weeks with no mistakes in them.

the smell of lavender.

lavender oil.

time to lay in bed and write.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

I'm wasting time.

February 24, 2019
Day 879

     I realized something tonight, and it's very important.

     Whenever I look at baby pictures of my children, I feel an intense ache. My heart aches to hold my children as they were when they were babies. My arms feel empty, and I have a longing to fill them with my babies. I've often wondered why this is. And tonight, I think I've come to the conclusion:

     I'm wasting time. Every day, I waste just a little bit of time doing something that literally does not matter at all. Sitting and staring. Scrolling. Watching a show.

     I looked at our family calendar tonight with all of the days crossed off, and the realization came to me: maybe my heart aches to hold my children as babies because even when they were babies, I wasted time.

     Why do I not spend every single free moment I have staring into their wondrous eyes? Why do I not spend every little spare minute talking with them? Or holding them? Or carrying them? Or telling them how beautiful and special they are?

     I am literally wasting the precious time I have with them with stupid stuff. Stuff that literally does not matter in the slightest.

     I have promised myself that tomorrow is a new day. I will not waste any more time doing meaningless things. I will spend my spare minutes and seconds with my babies, because they matter. And when I look at baby pictures, I want to know full well that the only reason I'm feeling an ache is because I want to hold my tiny babies once more, and not because I wasted time.

     Thankful for realizations. Thankful for my beautiful babies. Thankful that tomorrow is a new day, and I can make it what I want. Thankful for second chances.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

A new day starts tomorrow.

February 23, 2019
Day 878

Thankful for:

our warm, cozy home.

ice cream.

pizza.

birthday parties.

going into a week of school with literally every single paper graded, recorded, and sorted.

a cleaned, organized classroom.

Little Women. 

my husband and children; they are the joys and lights of my life.

our dog; I love his eyes.

a new day starts tomorrow.


Friday, February 22, 2019

Hot tea with honey and lemon.

February 22, 2019
Day 877

Thankful for:

a nice vehicle to drive.

dinner out with friends.

nights where I can get into bed early.

Friday nights.

seeing Higbee after work.

the weekend ahead of me.

Casey's birthday coming up.

Seinfeld.

time to lay in bed and rest.

a good Friday at school.

a new week ahead of me.

curly hair.

kisses from my babies.

smiles from my babies.

a cold Saturday to look forward to.

time to sleep.

hot tea with honey and lemon.

vitamins.

cookies with tea.