Rice with butter and gravy.

January 31, 2019
Day 855

Thankful for:

another day off with my family.

only one more day of work until the weekend.

hugs and kisses from my babies.

Higbee's fur.

doing math work with Adelyn.

making my house look pretty by putting flowers in it.

a clean kitchen.

roasted carrots for dinner.

rice with butter and gravy. I didn't eat it, but I tasted it. And it was lovely.

blue sky.

cold, cold air.

walks with Higbee.

blankets and couches.

time to talk on the phone with Matt's mom.

time to organize the library.

time to get schoolwork done.

telling my daughter about this project.

good night kisses.

time to read in bed in the middle of the day.

a great Thursday.

phone calls with my mom.

Home is the best word I know.

January 30, 2019
Day 854

Thankful for:

a unexpected off with the kids.

big, fat snowflakes that make it look like you're in a snow globe.

big, crocheted blankets.

video games.

snowy woods.

time with my babies and my furry baby.

shopping trips to Target to buy whatever my kids want because they have gift cards.

new decorations for the house.

wide open sky painted pink and orange and red and blue and purple.

late nights watching movies with my babes. Complete with bowls of popcorn.

kisses goodnight. I treasure each one.

things to be thankful for.

new projects. I'm praying for 100 days for my brother and my parents. I've seen God move mountains before. And I know I'll see him do again.

friends making wise choices for their lives.

a relaxing weekend at home coming up. Home is the best word I know.

Short, but sweet list.

January 29, 2019
Day 853

Thankful for:

days when Matt is at work because the nights feel sort of special. It's just me and the kids.

texts from Matt when he's at work. He always tells me he loves me.

I can watch whatever I want to on TV. (Who am I kidding? Matt is so good to me that he always gives me the remote. So, let me rephrase that: I can watch whatever I want to on TV and not feel guilty about making Matt watch Road to Avonlea. 

time cuddling with my babes.

Mountains in my rear-view mirror.

January 28, 2019
Day 852

Thankful for:

Mondays.

students with big smiles.

a job that I love.

friends at work.

the feeling of a new week.

the feeling of fresh Monday morning.

cold air.

trees.

wide open spaces of sky and earth.

mountains in my rear-view mirror when I drive to work.

New Days.

January 27, 2019
Day 851

Thankful for:

A relaxing day at home with my babies and my grandma.

My parents.

Dogs.

Mugs of tea.

French press coffee.

Two pots of soup.

Biscuits.

Time to lay in bed and relax with my husband.

Cold air coming soon.

A teacher's workday tomorrow.

New days.

New weeks.

New months.

Time with my grandma.

January 26, 2019
Day 850

Thankful for:

time with my grandma.

Bingo.

Uncle Julio's.

chips and salsa.

sour cream.

cheese, tomato, and lettuce.

a clean house.

my babies.

my babies helping me clean up our house.

Higbee.

our trees.

our land.

our home.

Long lists in my heart.

January 25, 2019
Day 849

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

time to grade papers.

mugs of tea.

time to sleep.

short lists on the blog, but long lists in my heart.

Our creek.

January 24, 2019
Day 848

God's perfect timing.

A visit from my dad.

A twilight walk in the woods.

A short day tomorrow.

A party tomorrow.

Time to watch a movie tomorrow.

Students to love.

My home.

The sky in the winter. The colors are the best.

My home. I know I already said it, but I'm saying it again.

My family.

A long weekend ahead.

The woods.

Our creek.

The wind.

Peanuts.

January 23, 2019
Day 847

Thankful for:

A good Wednesday.

The end of this Wednesday.

My bed.

Salad.

A small bowl of peanuts.

Time to sleep.

There are still cold months left.

January 22, 2019
Day 846

Thankful for:

short days at school.

two hour delays.

a very successful day.

a delicious dinner.

a clean kitchen.

tea.

apples with almond butter.

my husband.

a fun day with my babies.

Higbee is always so happy to see me when I come home.

Adelyn and Tobin played outside when they came home from school today.

there are still cold months left. I love the cold.

time to lay in bed and watch shows.

phone calls with my grandma.

phone calls with my dad.

tomorrow is Wednesday. Wednesdays mean we read all morning. Wednesdays are good days.

lunches are all prepped and ready for tomorrow.

Our newly painted living room.

January 21, 2019
Day 845

Thankful for:

this day off.

mashed potatoes.

ice cream.

cold, cold weather.

our newly painted living room.

decorating our home...it feels so good.

a lovely day at home with my family.

the way that Matt will literally not leave me alone. He follows me around everywhere. It feels good to be loved so madly and so deeply.

hawks.

deer.

cuddling with Higbee.

The way the sky looks when it's windy out.

January 20, 2019
Day 844

Thankful for:

contests.

new beginnings.

things to look forward to.

cold weather.

wind.

the way the sky looks when it's windy out.

time with my family.

time with my sister.

hot tea.

cookies.

breakfast for dinner.

A grand Saturday, indeed.

January 19, 2019
Day 843

Thankful for:

mornings spent in a little town with my family walking around and exploring.

donuts fresh from a little town bakery.

the smell of freshly ground flour from a farm to table cafe in a little town.

a beekeeper's shop.

free honey sticks for the kids in a beekeeper's shop.

plans to return to the little town on a special date with my husband.

new paint.

Matt and I painted our formal living room yesterday. It looks incredible. It's my favorite paint color ever; Green Tint from Benjamin Moore.

Deli meat sandwiches and soup and chips for lunch. It's my favorite and here is why; I toast the bread. Then I butter it. Then I spread mayo on it. Then I load it with cooper cheese, smoked turkey breast, and another kind of meat, usually some sort of ham or pastrami. Then I add raw red onion. It is the best sandwich ever.

Time to cuddle with my babies yesterday.

Time to cuddle with my husband.

Time to cuddle with my dog.

Life-changing talks with my husband.

Plans to make us better than ever.

A very grand Saturday, indeed.

The silence of snow.

January 18, 2019
Day 842

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

nights spent out with ladies discussing fun things like yearbooks.

tacos.

chips and salsa.

my kids got to visit with friends tonight.

cuddling in bed with my dog.

hugs from Matt.

cuddling in bed with Matt.

the whole weekend ahead of me.

snow to play in with my kids.

an unexpected day off from school. I love unexpected days off.

time to sled.

watching my kids and Higbee play in the snow.

the way the woods look when it snows.

the silence of snow.

a good day.

New days every morning.

January 17, 2019
Day 841

Thankful for:

Thursdays.

things to be thankful for on Thursdays.

coming home to a dog that is over the moon to see us. It's good to have a being just so overjoyed to see your face.

easy dinners.

hugs from my husband.

new days every morning.

Fun nights out.

January 16, 2019
Day 840

Thankful for:

My husband.

Fun nights out with family.

My children.

Cuddling with my son after bath time.

Laughing with my babes.

Singing in the car.

Tomorrow is Thursday. And the next day is Friday.

Tea and peanuts and apples and almonds.

Short week.

January 15, 2019
Day 839

Thankful for:

A late start to the school day.

Pretty places.

Snowy spaces.

Deer.

Deer tracks.

A short week.

Shows to watch in bed.

Snowmen.

January 14, 2019
Day 838

Thankful for:

-a big breakfast.

-good food.

-time to sled.

-time to walk in the woods.

-animals tracks.

-beautiful light.

-the way the trees look when they are all snowy.

-the way Higbee plays and runs and is joyful in the snow.

-the way my children play for hours outside in the snow.

-my kids can go adventuring in the woods.

-snowmen.

-pictures.

-time to sit in chairs outside with Matt and observe just how crazy, insane lucky and blessed we are to have this amazing home with land and children and a dog. This is our dream life, and it's so lovely.

Thankful for good things. God gives good things even though I am so undeserving.
So thankful.

Snowy Sunday.

January 13, 2019
Day 837

     Thankful for:

-a lovely snow day.

-a big breakfast.

-tracks in the snow.

-fun and laughter.

-time with my babies.

-time with my husband.

-time to sleep in tomorrow.

-a snow day tomorrow.

-cold air.

-good things.

Love Does.

January 12, 2019
Day 836

Thankful for time to celebrate my grandfather. This is what I wrote for his memorial service.

Love does.

-My sister and I like to go for drives.

We go for drives when we’re happy.

We put the windows all the way down, and the music all the way up.

We drive when we’re upset or sad.

We drive when we’re angry. We blast loud music and vent to each other.

The drive to see our Poppy in the hospital was one we had never been on before.

That cold, clear, dark night…we drove mostly in silence.

We prayed.

We spoke here and there.

But it was really just us, a new kind of drive, and the stars.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know just how many stars there actually are.

I can remember standing out in the wide-open spaces of my grandparent’s home in Maryland, far away from any light pollution, and breathing in cold, crisp night air while I marveled at the vast expanse of night sky and stars and moon.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know that the night sky is not black, but a very faint and deep, dark bluish purple.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know how small one feels under billions of twinkling stars.

I wouldn’t know that some twinkle red. Some yellow. Some orange. Some blue.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know what it was like to wake up in the morning in the country, and eat blueberry pancakes with blueberries that had been picked fresh that morning, and warmed by the sun.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know what an unripe persimmon tastes like. It’s almost impossible to describe except for this: it takes all the moisture out of your mouth instantly. I’ve never tasted anything like it before.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know what vegetables taste like when they are picked out of the ground and prepared not an hour later.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know the sound of the bobwhite bird. It makes a sound like this: Bob White. Bob White. I can still hear him say those words.

If it wasn’t for Poppy, I wouldn’t know that water from a well tastes sweet and fresh and that is sparkles in the sunlight as it pours out of the faucet.

-When my sister and I walked into the hospital room, it felt like we had walked into a broken dream. Or a battle lost.

When someone we love leaves us, we try our best to make sense of it. We reason with ourselves. But our souls scream at the way the world seems to so cruelly…go on. Our world has been crushed. Damaged. Altered forever. A part of us has been abruptly amputated.

Before Christmas, before my Poppy passed, I called him, and I prayed with him. I told him not to worry because I felt like God was going to give us a Christmas miracle. I felt like God was going to heal him and that he would be home with us for the holidays.

I think God wanted Poppy home with Him for the holidays, instead.

Poppy was a man who liked to adventure. He loved nature. He liked to go fishing. He liked to be outside. He loved trees. Poppy planted a cherry tree for us in front of our old town house, and that was the loveliest cherry tree I’ve ever seen. It was full of blossoms every spring. There were showers of pink petals every time the wind blew even just a little bit. He loved birds. Some time ago, there was a little bird that flew into the back door at my grandparent’s house and died. Instead of just tossing it aside, Poppy put it in a box, and dug a grave, and buried it. He made a cross out of twigs and placed it over the grave.

He watched over the sparrows.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my grandfather; from his life and from his death:

We should measure love in cups of coffee and slices of pie.

We should measure love in time spent around the kitchen table, talking and laughing and eating good food.

We should measure love in the seemingly mundane tasks like cleaning up the kitchen. The sounds of dishes and utensils clinking around in the sink sounds like home. And because home is the very best place to be, cleaning the kitchen can be a pleasure if we look at it the right way. Poppy never minded cleaning the kitchen. I think that’s because he knew that truth.

We should relish every moment we spend with our loved ones, even the dull ones. Even the ones that aren’t perfect. If we never had bad moments or bad days or even bad months, we wouldn’t know the freshness and joy of a good moment or a good day or a good month.

We should go adventuring. We should do things like buy boats just because. And then take those boats out on the water and see what we can see.

We should plant trees and lay under their branches in the spring and summer. We should collect their leaves in the fall. And decorate them in the winter.

We should plant fruits and vegetables and then share the harvest at a big breakfast with our families.

We should all love dogs. We should take naps with dogs. And pet them very gently. And go to Olan Mills and get our picture taken with them. And sometimes, even feed them from the table. Poppy loved dogs. He liked to nap with them. And if that doesn’t make sense to you, then I suggest you go home right away and nap with your dog. You will never have a better nap in your life. Poppy knew this well.

We should all say things like this, “Come up and see us sometime!” and, “You’re the prettiest girl in town.” Poppy had a simple way with words. When he spoke them, they were genuine and they mattered.

We should all spend time doing the things we love. If you like to fish, go fishing. If you like to plant trees, plant trees. If you like to watch football, watch it. Time spent doing something we love is time well spent. Poppy knew this. He did the things he loved to do. He talked about the things he loved to do. Shouldn’t we all aspire to be this way?

We should focus on the details that truly matter: hospital rooms don’t matter. Kitchens do. Orchards do. Gardens do. Grassy places do. Wide open skies do. Starry nights do. Love does. Poppy loved and he was loved. He loved his wife. And his family. And his grandchildren. And his great-grandchildren. In the end, isn’t that all that really matters?

I think God called Poppy home because heaven has been a little short of chestnut trees lately, and because what could compare to spending the holidays in heaven amongst the clouds and the angels?

And the more I’ve thought about it, that hospital room was not a room of broken dreams or a lost battle, but of a new beginning. When he closed his eyes in this world for the last time, he opened his eyes for the first time in a place with no more pain. And no limitations. Think of all the land up there just waiting to have a tree planted in it. Think of all the dogs that will have a new napping buddy. Think of all the birds that will now have a new caretaker. Think of all the boats just sitting along the watery places in heaven. Think of how twinkly the stars must look from the clouds. In that hospital room, there was only love left. So, if, at the end, the only thing that matters is love, why waste our time with anything less? Right now, you have the time to love your loved ones. Do it. Do not waste even one minute trying to prove a point, or win an argument. Just love one another. Care for the sparrows. Pet all the dogs. Take naps. Go see the sights in a boat. Hold hands. The time is now.

Just as Poppy watched over the sparrows, God was watching over him. And what we saw as a tragedy before Christmas was really a Christmas miracle in disguise. For our loved one left this earth as a person, and entered into heaven and became an angel. And when a person becomes an angel, there really can’t be any denying that a miracle took place.

We love you, Poppy. We will miss you greatly.

Three things on a Friday.

January 11, 2019
Day 835

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

Time to sleep in bed.

Time to spend with family.

Cold, cold air.

January 10, 2019
Day 834

Thankful for:

Hugs from my babies.

Waking them up in the morning.

Talking clothes and fashion with Adelyn.

My husband.

Peanuts.

Time with Patty.

Higbee.

Cold, cold air.

Wind.

Tomorrow is Friday.

A fantastic day at school.

Time with family this weekend.

Tobin's breath.

December 9, 2019
Day 833

Thankful for:

Wednesday.

Time to relax at night.

My babies.

The way Tobin's breath smells.

Adelyn's smile. Her hands. Her fingers.

Tobin's nose and lips.

Matt's hands.

Tuesdays

December 8, 2019
Day 832

Thankful for:

Tuesdays.

My students.

My family.

Time to grade papers and watch TV.

Mugs of tea.

Good Mondays.

January 7, 2019
Day 831

Thankful for:

A good Monday.

Time to lay in bed and grade papers.

Giant mugs of tea with honey.

Road to Avonlea. 

Hugs from my husband when I get home from school.

Apples and peanuts and almonds.

Cold air.

Kisses from my babies when I put them to bed.

Good Mondays.

Things to be thankful for.

January 6, 2019
Day 830

Thankful for:

Mugs filled with tea.

Peanuts.

Apples.

Birthday parties.

Gamie.

Burgers.

My family.

Running into people at the store.

My uncle Todd.

Cooking with my dad.

Playing with Odette.

Dogs.

Movies.

Foxes.

Cuddling with Casey and Tobin.

And then with Addy and Phia.

Watching Tobin with Odette. He would have been such a good big brother.

Birthday candles.

Birthday gifts.

A new week starting tomorrow.

Things to be thankful for.

A day called Saturday.

January 5, 2019
Day 829

Thankful for:

Saturdays spent at home with my children when Matt is working.

Having the bed all to myself.

Texts from Matt that say, "I miss you."

A clean house. I like to clean the house from top to bottom every Saturday morning.

Time to lay in bed naked after a shower in the middle of the afternoon and watch Road to Avonlea. 

A day called Saturday.

Friday nights.

January 4, 2019
Day 828

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

Quiet nights spent at home.

Road to Avonlea. 

Time to lay in bed and relax without sleeping.

Mugs filled with tea.

Apples shared with Higbee.

A full weekend ahead.

Words.

January 3, 2018
Day 827

Thankful for:

-friends.

-phone calls with friends.

-my sister.

-my husband.

-my job.

-my home.

-my bed.

-a delicious dinner.

-muddy shoes.

-a furry pup.

-texts with my friend, Sasha.

-phone calls with my mom and my grandma.

-phone calls with my dad.

-Matt. His hugs make me feel better.

-Matt cleaned the kitchen for me tonight.

-a big mug of tea.

-words. I love painting pictures with them.

New days ahead.

January 2, 2018
Day 826

Thankful for:

A quiet day back to work.

Time to lay in bed and rest.

An extra recess at the end of the day.

New days ahead.

Road to Avonlea. It is like a healing balm for my soul at the end of a long day.

Hugs from students.

Higbee when we come home. He trots a different way and it makes me happy.

Phone calls with my dad, my mom, Patty, and Matt.

Texts from Matt.

Hugs from my babies.

Cuddling in bed and reading books with my wee ones.

Kisses good night.

Things to be thankful for.

A fine January 1st.

January 1, 2018
Day 825

Thankful for:

A fine January 1st.

Adventuring in the woods.

Big rocks.

Creeks.

Red bugs.

Bare trees.

Four-wheeler rides.

My husband.

My kids.

Road to Avonlea. 

Time to lay in bed and rest.

A new day starting tomorrow.