Tomorrow is Friday.

August 31, 2017
Day 335

     Thankful for a great day at school. Thankful that tomorrow is going to be cooler and fall like. Thankful for wildflowers outside my window at school. Thankful for my amazing children who make my heart sing every day. Thankful for Friday. Thankful for time to sleep. Thankful for my sweet husband. Thankful for prayer night with some sweet ladies.

     Thankful.

Comforting Flavor.

August 30, 2017
Day 334

This morning was cool. I cannot wait for fall weather to arrive.

Today was a good day at school.

There are beautiful wildflowers surrounding the school where I work. It's a lovely place to be.

I love getting my kids up in the morning. I feel so blessed to be able to go into two bedrooms and wake up my children each morning.

Adelyn starts ballet class tomorrow. I'm excited for her.

I love peeking into Tobin and Phia's classroom during the day. They always look like they are doing very important work. They take K-4 very seriously.

I started reading The Phantom Tollbooth to my 3rd graders. Every time I read that book, I remember how brilliant and rich it is.

My husband loves me so much. When he comes home, the first thing he does is hug me for a long time.

My dad called me tonight. I love when my dad calls me.

My mom called me tonight. I love when my mom calls me.

I have soup for lunch tomorrow. I love soup. Especially homemade chicken noodle. There is no more comforting flavor in the world than chicken soup.

Tomorrow is Thursday which means the next day is Friday which means the next day is Saturday. I'm excited for Saturday.

Thankful. 

What if this is pretty easy?

August 29, 2017
Day 333

     This morning, I woke up for the first day of school, and it was raining. I love when it rains on the first day of school. It makes me feel cozy. I think God sent the rain for me.

     While Matt and I were doing the dishes after dinner tonight, we got to talking about the time when we were just newly married and living in Lorton in our first home together. At the time, we thought we had it rough. We were in school, and we both had poor paying jobs. We set goals to make it exactly where we are today, and we made it. But when we were thinking back on things tonight, we realized, we really didn't have it rough at all. We went to school. We went to our jobs. We paid our rent. We went to Giant every night to get food to make for dinner. And we just hung out together and played with our dog, Roxy. We realized tonight that that was actually pretty easy. Then I had a thought: what if what we think is tough now is actually pretty easy, too?

     I like the way the raindrops look while standing under a big light in a parking lot at a grocery store.

     I love the way Higbee opens up the closet door to get all of his toys out to play with at night.

     I had chicken soup for lunch today and it was lovely. Soup is my favorite.

     Matt's mom made us a delicious dinner tonight. Chicken curry, rice, biscuits, and a dessert. She is thoughtful and wonderful. She always has been.

     I had a good first day of school today. So did Adelyn, Tobin, Casey, and Sophia. It makes me happy that they were all happy today.

     Today was a good day.

     Thankful for a good Tuesday. Thankful for air in my lungs. Thankful for raindrops. Thankful for children to bathe and kiss goodnight. Thankful for a bed to share with the man who loves me. Thankful for sound walls to keep us safe. Thankful that we have all the things we need. Thankful for good food to cook for my family. Thankful for water to drink. Thankful for kisses and hugs and cuddles. Thankful for just way too many things than I deserve to be blessed with.

     Thankful. 

Thankful for...

August 28, 2017
Day 332

Thankful for:

-crunchy leaves.

-red leaves.

-a cool breeze.

-cloudy skies.

-rain in the forecast.

-a good meet and greet day at school.

-homemade chicken noodle soup ready to go for lunches and Thursday's dinner this week.

-a new school year ahead of me.

-new students to love.

-new students to read to.

-new students to learn from.

-early bedtimes for my babies.

-new backpacks and lunch boxes.

-a new dress to wear tomorrow.

-a clean home.

-a completed ready classroom.

-an easy first day. I love the "get to know each other" day.

-a new book to read.

-a quiet evening walk with Higbee. Except for that part when a bunny darted out in front of us and Higbee almost pulled me down a giant hill chasing after it.

-my husband relaxing in bed waiting for me to come cuddle with him.

-September. I love September!

-friends.

-fun events coming up.

-way too many things to be thankful for.

Thankful. 

Last day of summer vacation.

August 27, 2017
Day 331

     Today was a good last day of summer vacation. We were busy, but we were together so it was good. We went to Trader Joe's, Costco, and Wegman's. On Sunday. I think Sundays are the busiest days in grocery stores. I'm excited to meet my students and their parents tomorrow. We have a meet and greet tomorrow, and the first day of school is on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to getting back into a good routine. Church was amazing this morning. The sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. We went to Patty's for dinner, and it was delicious. My parents came over and brought all kinds of treats and goodies for the little ones. My dad brought over a grab bag of little things he has been collecting over the years and gave it to them to share. There were things like stress balls, magnifying glasses, flashlights. The kids were delighted. Matt helped me clean the house because we have a showing tomorrow. We have decided that if we don't sell our house by October 31st, we are taking it off the market. It's in God's hands. It always has been. If we sell, great. If not, great because we still love our home. I went over to Steph's house today to sign Adelyn up for ballet. Steph and Mario are paying for Adelyn to take ballet for a year. Which is an amazing gift! After we signed Adelyn up, we talked for a bit. It's always good to talk with Steph. She is my friend turned family member.

     Thankful for a great Sunday. Thankful for cooler weather. I cannot wait for cold air. Thankful for the best family. Thankful for so many blessings that I could never list them all. Thankful for our home. Thankful for a brand new school year coming up. I love brand new things. Today was a grand day, and I am thankful I had it to enjoy.

Pineapples.

August 26, 2017
Day 330

     Thankful for a good day with family. Thankful for block parties, and slip and slides, and hot dogs on the grill. Thankful for hard laughter at funny movies. Thankful for Christmas presents purchased early in August. Adelyn and Tobin had their eyes set on a huge teddy bear, and animal sleeping bags. When December comes, we will have a good head start on Christmas shopping. Thankful for my husband and my precious little ones. Thankful for the way Tobin says, "Mama." Thankful for forts made out of blankets. Thankful for cool air. Thankful that fall weather. Thankful for sweatshirts in the evening. Thankful for family. Thankful for things being checked off my to do list. Thankful that September is coming. I love September. Thankful for two friends of mine that just got engaged. Thankful for good friends. Thankful that yesterday was peaceful and lovely and calm. Thankful for peace that passes all understanding. Thankful for healing. Thankful for pineapples.

     Thankful. 

Friday Nights.

August 25, 2017
Day 329

     I am thankful for a fine day. Thankful for courage. For strength. For peace and calm in my mind today. Thankful for puffy white and pink clouds. Thankful for glorious sunsets. Thankful for rays of sunshine that shine down from clouds. Thankful for the wonderful people I work with. They are amazing, loving people, and I thank God every day that I can work in such a lovely place. Thankful for the new students I will get this year. Thankful for the end of teacher orientation week because next week, I meet my new students. Thankful for the beautiful wildflowers outside my windows at school. I have a pretty view this year. Thankful for a weekend of rest ahead of me. Thankful for blue eyes and green eyes. Thankful for my husband. He loves me so much. It's wonderful to be loved so wildly. Thankful for carrots and hummus. Thankful for Higbee sleeping in my bed. Thankful for nature shows. Thankful for my family. For my mom and dad. For my sister and brother. Sometimes I wish I could visit my childhood just for a day so I could feel how it feels to be young again and living in my parent's house with my siblings. When you're young, you can't wait to get away. When you're getting older, you long to go back to the beginning. I wish I wasn't in such a hurry to grow up when I was young. Thankful for the ability to work from home this weekend. Thankful for a clean home. Thankful for peace that passes all understanding. Thankful for Friday nights.

Women.

August 24, 2017
Day 328

     Tonight, I am thankful for so many wonderful women. I have amazing friends praying for me at work. They pray for me, they listen, they care, they message me. I went to church with my mom tonight, and some lovely ladies prayed for me.

     Thankful for breakthroughs. Thankful for freedom. Thankful for God's peace which passes all understanding. Thankful for worship music. Thankful for prayer.

   

Wednesday's List.

August 23, 2017
Day 327

Thankful for...

a delicious dinner.

the hugs my kids give me when I come home from work.

a good night with my husband.

the way Higbee jumps up and kisses me when I come home. He just has to jump up and give me a lick.

the leaves are starting to change on some trees.

a productive day at work.

a new year ahead of me.

Thankful. 

Things to be thankful for.

August 22, 2017
Day 326

     Thankful for the wind blowing on my skin when I was walking Higbee tonight. Thankful for a phone call from my friend, Lorrie. Thankful for my friend, Heidi. Thankful for friends who love me and pray for me. Thankful for my mom. She came to see my classroom tonight, and on the way over to the school, we prayed together. Thankful that my mom prays for me and that when I need to, I can still hold her hand. Thankful for Adelyn and Tobin. They are the bright lights of my life, and they make every day sunny and cheery. I love to look deep into their eyes. They have the most beautiful eyes. Thankful for Higbee. Thankful for my husband. I'm so blessed to be able to sleep next to my best friend every night. I love to hold Matt's hand. His hands are my favorite hands. I love the way they are shaped. Thankful for hot tea with honey in a big mug. Thankful for peace. Even when it only comes in small waves. Thankful for my bed and my home and my many, many blessings. Thankful for laughter. For hugs. For an almost finished classroom.

     Thankful. 

Thankful for...

August 21, 2017
Day 325

Thankful for my mom and my sister who stayed up until 1 am with me helping me sort all my curriculum.

Thankful for a good first day at work. It was an easy day. Easy days are a good way to ease back into working full time after a long summer break.

Thankful for homemade chicken soup. It truly is good for the soul.

Thankful that fall decorations are showing up everywhere now. I literally cannot wait for cold air on my skin. I'm aching for it.

Thankful for hard laughter.

Thankful to be able to bathe my kids every night. I love caring for them.

Thankful for the way my kids pray for me.

Thankful for a good friend who left a message on my white board at school. It made my day.

Thankful for another good friend who did something sweet for me that she didn't have to do.

Thankful for a whole night ahead of me just for sleeping.

Thankful to God for giving me peace today.

Thankful for so much to be thankful for that I could literally write for hours and not even come close to a comprehensive list.

Happy Birthday, Adelyn Bailey!

August 20, 2017
Day 324

     Today was Adelyn's 7th birthday! From the first moment I laid eyes on her, I've always thought she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my whole life. It was like I never knew true beauty until I saw her for the first time. From the moment she was born, she was my lighthouse. She has always been a bright light on dark days. She is full of joy. She loves others so much. She has a tender, sweet heart. She helps worms off of sidewalks and into the grass on hot days. She loves nature. She loves a pretty sky. She loves to draw. She loves to write. She loves music. She writes letters to the tooth fairy and asks for specific items like dentist tools and cookies. She keeps her room neat and tidy. Except for her dresser drawers which are a horrible mess. She loves to cuddle, and she always wants me to hold her. She pretends to be sleeping when we get home from anywhere so that Matt or I will carry her inside. She likes to be carried.

     We had a great birthday party today! We had Duck Donuts for breakfast. We had homemade chicken soup and grilled cheese for lunch. We had shrimp and corned beef and cabbage for dinner. We had special candies and goodies and juice boxes. I made an ice cream cake for dessert. And we ate our ice cream cake with a side of ice cream. Adelyn was blessed with so many wonderful gifts from the people who love her the most.

     I am thankful for Adelyn. She is amazing, and I know God has huge plans for her. I think a person with such a dramatic entrance into the world is destined for great things. I am thankful for my family. Thankful for delicious food, for laughter, for dancing, for music, for ice cream, and for special days. Thankful for a feeling of peace today. Thankful for a happy day. Thankful that on this day seven short years ago, my life was changed forever by the sweetest girl named, Adelyn Bailey.

Splendid Saturday.

August 19, 2017
Day 323

     Today was good. We went shopping for Adelyn's birthday food. We cleaned. We relaxed. We watched a movie in bed. I love cuddling with my babies. I made a homemade ice cream cake for Adelyn's birthday tomorrow. It looks lovely. Thankful for a relaxing day with my family. Thankful for a nice cool house to relax in. Thankful for funny shows to watch. And for blankets and pillows. Thankful for blue eyes and green eyes. And Higbee's brown eyes. Thankful for a splendid Saturday.

King's Dominion.

August 18, 2017
Day 322

     We went to King's Dominion today, and we had a blast. Adelyn and Tobin had so much fun, and I will always remember the way the sunlight made their big smiles and hair look while we rode rides together. When we came home, we all got cleaned up and cuddled in bed and watched, Blue Planet. My favorite part of the day is when I get to cuddle in bed with my babies. Higbee was so happy to see us when we got home, and he cuddled in bed with us too.

     I'm getting so excited for Adelyn's birthday on Sunday. It's going to be all Moana all day.

     Thankful for a fine last day of summer vacation with my family. Thankful for big smiles and rosy cheeks. Thankful for rainbows after bad storms. Thankful for the amazing stormy sunset sky. I love when the sky is so beautiful you just can't look away.

River's Sixth Birthday.

August 17, 2017
Day 321

     Today was River's sixth birthday in heaven. I imagine that it was glorious. I like to think she was celebrated all day. I like to think that the food was just lovely. And delicious. The cake was magnificent. I imagine it was white cake with white frosting and sprinkles. And I imagine her name was written on the very tip top of the cake with light pink frosting. She has the most beautiful name. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I write her name on the wall with my finger. I try to write it very neatly in my most careful and beautiful cursive writing.

     I opened her case today. I looked at her pictures. I cuddled her blanket. I smelled the dried rose from her service. I held the tiny hat she wore when she was in my arms. I read what Patty wrote for her memorial service. And I cried. And I wished that I could hold my baby. I talked to Chelsea. She told me the story. The story of when I said goodbye to River, and Chelsea came to pick her up. I cry when she tells me that story.

     I saw butterflies today. I saw a very tiny one while the kids and I were picking wildflowers for her party. I made a cake. Patty and her kids came over. My dad came over too. Somehow I knew he would be walking up to my house carrying flowers for his girl, River. He cut some branches off his crepe myrtle, and he wrapped the bottom of the branches very carefully with a wet towel. And for some reason, the fact that he wrapped that wet towel over the branches meant just as much as him bringing the flowers in the first place.

     I wish I could hold her. And smell her. And watch her grow. And cuddle with her in bed. My arms ache for her. They hurt because they cannot hold her. I wish I could see her face. And touch her hair. And know what color her eyes are. I wish I could have nursed her at my breast, and bathed her, and dressed her in pretty clothes.

     I miss her. I am thankful she is my daughter.

   

A fine Wednesday.

August 16, 2017
Day 320

We went to the pool for a polar bear swim today. It was cold. Very cold! I had goosebumps the whole time we were swimming but it was extremely invigorating.

We played, "Ocean." Two kids would be tourists while two kids were sea creatures, and I, Barbara Butt, would take them on a tour of the open ocean. The tourists fell off the boat often and we were attacked by sand tiger and great white sharks, but we had fun.

The clouds were pretty today. It's as if they were made just for me.

Tomorrow is River's 6th birthday in heaven.

It rained tonight. A real, good, soaking rain.

I had a great meeting for school tonight.

I had a vanilla steamer tonight and it was lovely and sweet and simple

Thankful for a lovely evening.

Two things.

August 15, 2017
Day 319

     Two things happened today that made me quite happy.

1. We went to a big playground and played in the rain this morning. It was glorious. We had the whole playground to ourselves. The kids loved it, and I loved it. I cannot wait for fall weather.

2. Patty and I watched a movie we watched when we were kids. And it made me feel very cozy to watch something with Patty. Especially something we loved to watch when we were children.

     I adored this rainy day. I adored the gray skies. I'm thankful to have more days of summer left with my favorite people. I'm thankful for old movies. I'm thankful for brisk walks at night with my sister. I'm thankful for phone calls with my friend, Jason. Thankful for a lovely Tuesday.

     

Lights of my life.

August 14, 2017
Day 318

My kids love to cuddle with me in the morning.

I got my classroom set up today.

I played Slapjack and Go Fish with my kids today.

We walked after dinner. It's fun to walk in wet grass.

I had a sandwich today made of this: Ezekiel bread, turkey breast, hummus, and guacamole. I am obsessed with Ezekiel toast with hummus and guacamole.

I got to see some friends at school today.

It rained today.

Higbee was cuddly today.

My grandpa is in the hospital and he's coming home tomorrow.

I'm getting excited for school.

Adelyn and Tobin are the lights of my life. They make every day exciting and wonderful and lovely.

Thankful. 

Here is the why.

August 13, 2017
Day 317

     Words are hard for me lately. Except the words I know how to say over and over again: I am thankful. While I have not deviated from my original goal to write for 1,000 days about what I am thankful for, I feel like my writing has been lacking. Needing something more. A bit more of an explanation as to why I'm doing this. But until this night, I have been unable to write why, I have only been able to write: I am thankful.

     Here is the why: because almost every day this summer has been a battle for me. There are days when I feel like I am drowning in anxiety. It consumes me. Every thought. Every action. Every second. It is there. Nagging me. Whispering disturbing things in my ear. Sitting on my shoulder. Watching me to make sure I don't feel too peaceful. It is utterly exhausting.

     But here is the good bit. For every ounce of anxiety I feel, when I run to God, I find peace. I find answers. I find goodness. And grace. And mercy. And refuge. And signs that He loves me. I don't have to fight anymore because my God fights for me. He silences the anxiety demon. He sends it far away from me. And He holds me while I catch my breath. He steadies my heart as His peace that passes all understanding rushes in and washes my mind clean from all the yuck.

     Tonight, I am thankful for my God. I am thankful for peace that passes all understanding. I am thankful that I don't have to fight anymore. The battle has already been won. My God has won. "And if God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31

     Thankful isn't big enough to say how thankful I am for my God.

Birthdays.

August 12, 2017
Day 316

     We celebrated Matt's grandma's birthday today. She is in her 90's. We had a lovely dinner, and birthday cake.

     We celebrated my cousin's son's birthday today. His name is Christopher, and he's a beautiful kid with the sweetest voice ever.

     We got to visit with lots of family today.

     I talked with my mom and dad on the phone today. I love chatting with my parents.

     Higbee was cuddly and sweet and sleepy today.

     My babies are cuddled together sleeping.

     It was a good day.

     Thankful.

Baltimore Aquarium.

August 11, 2017
Day 315

     Today was the best! We took the kids to the Baltimore Aquarium. It was awesome. They loved it. Adelyn now wants to be a dolphin trainer when she grows up. Tobin wants to be a shark guy. Specifically a guy who feeds sharks. Tobin drew an amazing picture during dinner of his favorite creatures of the day. I'm keeping it forever. They touched jelly fish, horseshoe crabs, and stingrays. I love watching my babies discover new things. It was an amazing day.

     Thankful.

Tomorrow is Friday.

August 10, 2017
Day 314

     Thankful for the wind. And the trees. And the blue sky. Thankful for blue and green eyes. For smiling faces. For roasted chicken with tons of garlic. For brown rice and roasted carrots and salad. Thankful for a fun day ahead. Thankful for more days in of summer left. Thankful for Higbee. Thankful for hugs from my babies.

     Thankful.

A blessing.

August 9, 2017

Day 313

     This day was lovely. The sky was so blue. The clouds were wispy. The sunset was pink and wonderful.

     My kids had dentist appointments. They love going to the dentist. We went grocery shopping. I love going shopping with my kids. I'm proud to walk the aisles with them. We got some puzzles and they worked on those for a good while. We had a delicious dinner at Patty's house.

     This day was a blessing. Every breath is a blessing. 

     Thankful. 

The 8th.

August 8, 2017
Day 312

     Thankful for laughter and blue eyes and green eyes. Thankful for a successful day unpacking boxes from my classroom. Thankful for popcorn and Berenstain Bears. Thankful for the wind in the trees. Thankful for time to sleep all night.

Happy Birthday, Matt!

August 7, 2017
Day 311

     We celebrated Matt today. He is the most amazing person, husband, and father. He loves so deeply. He gives unselfishly. He hugs and kisses me every day. He cuddles with me and our kids and dog. He holds my hand. He lets me cry when I need to. He makes me laugh every day. He takes care of us. He works hard for us. He sacrifices for us. He wants to give us the best.

     I am literally living the life of my dreams because of Matt. He made my dreams come true, and I will love him forever.

     Thankful.

Matt's pre-birthday.

August 6, 2017
Day 310

     We celebrated Matt's birthday today! We had delicious food and delicious desserts. We spent time with family. Time with family is always time well spent.

     Thankful for my love, Matt. Thankful to be able to spend special days with him. Thankful for the many many years we've spent together. Thankful for wonderful family. Thankful for cheesecake and lemon cake. Thankful for sleepy babes. Thankful for a new week coming up. I love a fresh new week.

     Tomorrow is Matt's real birthday. Can't wait to celebrate him again tomorrow.

That which matters most.

August 5, 2017
Day 309

     Thankful for family. Thankful for laughter. Thankful for good conversation. Thankful for a cool breeze, blue sky, and puffy white clouds. Thankful for a lovely dinner. Thankful for my loved ones.

     We went to a funeral today. Life is just so precious. We should spend all of our minutes focused on that which matters most: love.

Life is precious.

August 4, 2017
Day 308

     Life is precious. Why is it that we only ever really remember that fact when we are faced with a loss of life. We went to a viewing tonight, and I've been thinking about what truly matters. Things like family. Time spent together. Stories. Laughter. Love.

     Tonight, I'm thankful for mended relationships. For laughter in the midst of sorrow. For good conversations. For family. For love.

     Today is a good day to tell someone you love them. Today is a good day to be thankful for your blessings. Today is a good day to laugh. Today is a good day to make memories. Today is a good day to tell stories. Today is a good day to spend being happy.

     Life is precious. Don't waste it. Not even a second.

Good Day.

August 3, 2017
Day 307

     Today was a good day. Adelyn and Tobin were as sweet as sugar. They made me laugh a lot. We went to Target to exchange some clothes and Patty decided to meet us there. I knew they had arrived when I heard Casey shouting out, "Kiki? Kiki?" It rained. I had coffee with a sweet friend and had the best conversation.

     It was a good day. I was very thankful to have peace and quiet. I was thankful that I got to enjoy my kids and watch them play and laugh. Our summer is coming to a close soon, and I will miss these sweet carefree days when they're gone.

     Looking forward to Matt's birthday this weekend. It's always good to celebrate a birthday for a loved one.

     Thankful. 

"Be anxious for nothing."

August 2, 2017
Day 306

     Thankful for friends. Thankful for my mom. She's my hero. She always has been. She always will be. She rescues me. She protects me. She loves me. I would be lost in a dark place without her. Thankful for my husband. He holds my hand and prays for me when I'm scared. He holds me and talks to me and listens to me. Thankful to share a bed with my best friend. Thankful for my children. They made me laugh so hard today. They like to play a game called, "kitty-cat." They've played it since they were very young. It has evolved since then, but in general, it involves lots of meowing and scratching followed by more meowing and and cuddles. Thankful for hummus and carrots. Thankful for hot tea. Thankful for peace and quiet. Thankful for a new day tomorrow. Thankful for these words: "Be anxious for nothing." Thankful that when I go outside, I feel God's presence in the wind.

Thankful. 

Happy Birthday, Dad!

August 1, 2017
Day 305

My kids like to make breakfast for me.

We spent the day at Patty's house.

Odette was sleepy and smiley today.

The bigs (Casey and Adelyn) and the littles (Tobin and Phia) helped me clean Patty's house while Patty and AJ were out today.

There is medicine to help Tobin when he's coughing.

Higbee is exhausted from his day at Patty's house with us. He's been sleeping on the couch ever since we got home.

Today is my dad's birthday. I am forever thankful for my dad. He's my hero. He always has been, and he always will be. On a list of the best people I know, he's at the very tip top. He is literally the best at everything. He's the best cook. He's the best at baking. He never uses a recipe. If he gets a hankering for donuts, he just...makes them. And everything he makes is the best version of that thing ever. This is going to sound weird, but he even makes the best glasses of ice water. I don't know how it's possible to make a good or a bad glass of ice water. But his glasses of ice water taste the best. He's a beautiful person and he makes the world a better place. I love him.

Tomorrow, I get to go to my new classroom, and I'm very excited! I love setting up my classroom.

Looking forward to seeing family this weekend for Matt's birthday. I'm very thankful for my love. He is an amazing person and I feel blessed and honored to be his wife. I'm beyond grateful to spend my days with him.

Adelyn is such a good big sister. She told me that she had been praying for Tobin because he's been coughing. She loves him so much. And he loves her. So thankful for their wonderful relationship.

I got to see my mom tonight. She stopped by Patty's house on her way to a meeting. It's always good to see my mom. Seeing her feels like home. I love her so much.

Thankful.