12 months to do 10 things.

December 31, 2019
Day 1,190

     As I sit here and write and erase and write and erase at the end of one year and the beginning of another, I am reminded of the things I didn't do this year. Things like lose the baby weight once and for all. Things like publish a book. Become an author. A real, live author. Paint the house. Become a runner again. All the usual things I long to have made a reality and don't year after year.

     But here's something else; I'm reminded of the things that I didn't do that really matter. Things like read extra books before bedtime with my babies. Spend more time with the people I love. Call people. Write to people. Dance in the kitchen with my husband while we wait for dinner. Spend more time in the woods. Pray for people. I'm reminded of all the times I should have put down my phone and been present and didn't. I'm reminded of every missed opportunitiy I've had to play with my children. To be young and wild with them while I still can be. I'm reminded that when I come to the end of my life, I will not speak to my family about how clean I kept the house, or what my body looked like when I was 37, or about my job. I will speak to them about love. I will tell them how much I love them. I will tell them to love each other. I will hold their hands and look at their faces and just swim in all the love that surrounds me when all the great loves of my life are close by.

     I've said it before. I'll say it again. If, at the end, love is A L L that matters, why do I waste my time with anything less than.

     Here is what I want to do this year:

1. I want to be present. In every moment.
2. I want to write more. 
3. I want to play and be wild.
4. I want to dance more.
5. I want to sing more.
6. I want to pray more.
7. I want to listen more.
8. I want to go visiting. I want to surprise people I love by knocking on their doors to say hello.
9. I want to send more letters in the mail. Everyone loves a letter in a mailbox.
10. I want to L O V E more.

     I have 12 months to do 10 things. I can feel it. It's going to be a good year.

Shane & Cheyenne got married today!

December 30, 2019
Day 1,189

     My brother and his love got married today! I was so honored and happy to be able to witness them profess their love for each other. True love is a beautiful thing to behold. It doesn't judge. It doesn't stay mad. It believes the best. It is always growing. It was in every smile exchanged between Shane and Cheyenne today. It was in their eyes. It was in their hands. It was a quick and quiet and small ceremony. But it was sweet. So very sweet. It's always sweet when you witness true love in action.

     Today, I'm thankful for a girl named Cheyenne who came into Shane's life and healed wounds and made him a better version of himself. I'm thankful for a boy named Ryker who came into Shane's life and made it richer and sweeter. I'm thankful for a little boy named Oliver who is growing every day in Cheyenne's belly. I'm thankful to call Cheyenne my sister. I'm thankful to call Ryker my nephew. I'm thankful for family. I'm thankful for happy days. I'm thankful for love. I'm thankful for December 30th.

I'm thankful that I got to...

December 29, 2019
Day 1,188

I'm thankful that I got to wake up this morning.
I'm thankful that I got to be home today.
I'm thankful that I got to be comfortable today.
I'm thankful that I got to clean my house today.
I'm thankful that I got to hug and kiss Adelyn and Tobin today.
I'm thankful that I got to take care of Higbee today.
I'm thankful that I got to listen to music today.
I'm thankful that I got to eat good food today.
I'm thankful that I got to talk to my sister today.
I'm thankful that I got to talk to my mom today.
I'm thankful that I got to talk to my husband today.
I'm thankful that I got to relax today.
I'm thankful that I got to write today.
I'm thankful that I got to get a hot shower today.
I'm thankful that I got to take vitamins today.
I'm thankful that I got to pray today.
I'm thankful that I got to kiss my babies goodnight tonight.
I'm thankful that I got to read today.
I'm thankful that I got to read my Bible today.
I'm thankful that I got to wear glasses to help me see today.
I'm thankful that I got to drink hot tea.
I'm thankful that I got to drink hot coffee.
I'm thankful that I got to eat chips and salsa.
I'm thankful that I got to be still and quiet today.
I'm thankful that I got to put lotion on my dry hands.
I'm thankful that I got to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my family today.
I'm thankful that I got to use my computer to write about the good things.
I'm thankful that I got to have a cookie today.
I'm thankful that I got to sing today.
I'm thankful that I got to cry today.
I'm thankful that I got to walk today.
I'm thankful that I got to be alive today.

It was a good day. I don't deserve such goodness.
Thankful.

I don't deserve such beauty.

December 28, 2019
Day 1,187

Thankful for time at home with the great loves of my life. Thankful for time outside. Thankful for a new swing in the backyard. Thankful beautiful children to call mine. Thankful for a beautiful husband to call mine. Thankful for a beautiful dog to call mine. Thankful for a beautiful home to call mine.

I don't deserve such beauty.

God is good to me.

Uncle Todd's wedding.

December 27, 2019
Day 1,186

Thankful for:

my Uncle Todd's wedding.

my cousins.

time to dance.

time to give toasts.

time to hug.

time to drive home.

catching up with people I love.

time to drive with my mom and my grandmad.

impossible whoppers.

good things that I don't deserve like a beautiful home and family to come home to.

For all the beauty in my life that I don't deserve.

December 26, 2019
Day 1,185

Thankful for:

a day to relax after the busy of yesterday.

for phones so I can stay in touch with my family.

medicine for sick family members.

the ability to pray whenver I need to or want to.

big books to read.

Christmas cookies in big tins.

leftover Christmas dinner.

things to keep the kids busy for a while.

for all the beauty in my life that I don't deserve.

Different, but beautiful. Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2019
Day 1,184

     Thankful for Christmas breakfast. For excited babies in the morning. Thankful for candy in stockings. Thankful for gifts under the tree. Thankful for Christmas greetings from family and friends. Thankful for presents. Thankful for Christmas kisses. Thankful for Christmas magic. Thankful for the glow of the Christmas trees. Thankful for a very happy Higbee. Thankful for the reason for Christmas day. Thankful for family.

I'm just...thankful. I don't deserve any of this happiness. It's all just so good. And so beautiful. I'm swimming in love and blessings all day every day.

It was a beautiful Christmas. It was different, but it was beautiful.

Christmas movies, cookies, shopping, music, decorations.

December 24, 2019
Day 1,183

     Thankful for a quiet afternoon and evening at home after a busy morning. I went shopping at Wegman's on Christmas Eve. Thankful for an impromptu meetup with Patty. Thankful for eggrolls. Thankful for time to bake cookies with my family. Thankful for Christmas movies and Christmas music and Christmas decorations. Thankful for such a special day. Thankful to be able to spend it with the great loves of my life.

Buddy, joy, excitment, and gifts.

December 23, 2019
Day 1,182

Thankful for:

Buddy the elf.

the joy and excitment over finding him hidden somewhere new every morning.

the gift of time.

the gift of a place called home.

the gift of people called family.

the gift of Christmas.

the gift of Jesus.

the gift of Christmas music.

the gift of love.

Simple lists of simple things.

December 22, 2019
Day 1,181

Thankful for:

my family.

my home.

this lovely life.

simple lists of simple things that are everything.

The gifts that Christmas brings.

December 21, 2019
Day 1,180

Thankful for a day called Saturday. Thankful for days at home. Thankful for time to clean and make the house beautiful for Christmas. Thankful for my family. Thankful for Higbee. Thankful for cold air. Thankful for all the gifts that Christmas brings.

Christmas is magic.

December 20, 2019
Day 1,179

     Thankful that I got to drive away from work today and that I don't have to return for two weeks. I love my job, but I am loving the fact that I have two weeks at home with my loves. Thankful for the gift of time. Thankful that Christmas is coming and my kids are so excited. Christmas is magic. Thankful for God's gift to all of humanity: Emmanuel. God with us.

Only one more day until break.

December 19, 2019
Day 1,178

     There is only one more day until Christmas break. We have cookies to bake, the house to clean, presents to buy, but we have the gift of time coming very soon. Thankful for the great gift of time coming after tomorrow. I can't wait to be at home with my loves for two whole weeks. Thankful for the magic of Christmas. Thankful for the gift of a baby in a manger. Thankful for things to be thankful for.

A short list on a Wednesday.

December 18, 2019
Day 1,177

     Thankful for the end of this week coming soon. Thankful for cold, cold air. For my children. For my husband. For second chances. I'm thankful for new days every morning. I'm thankful for my friend, Jason. Thankful for long phone calls. Thankful for time to catch up with my friend, Carmella. We talked for a while on the phone this past Monday. Thankful for my bed. My home. For food to eat. For a very long break coming very soon.

Mugs.

December 17, 2019
Day 1,176

     Thankful for my husband. He loves me even when I freak out and yell. He still smiles. He still loves me. He always forgives me. Thankful that he helps me and cares about the things that I care about. Thankful for his love. Thankful for cold, cold air. Thankful that this week is almost over. Thankful that after this week, we're going to have two whole weeks off from school. I can't wait. Thankful for my babies. Thankful for homemade pizza for dinner. Thankful for cuddly, quiet, sleepy Higbee. Thankful for my bed. For time to sleep. For tea and peanuts. For mugs sitting everywhere in my house. For a hard job completed. I love checking things off my list. Thankful for a good Tuesday.

I'm going to hang onto his words forever.

December 16, 2019
Day 1,175

     This morning, I asked Tobin to pray with my for a little girl named Olive. She died and her parents are asking for prayer that God will work a miracle and bring her back to life.

     Tobin prayed a beautiful prayer. The words he spoke were far beyond his years. He prayed that she would be made well. He prayed that God would heal her just as he healed the ten lepers and other people when "You were here." But then he made a correction: "Well, You're always here, but when You were walking on earth." He asked that God would touch her head and make her well. He has such strong faith.

     After he prayed, he remembered a dream he had long ago. I remembered it as well because it was so powerful. I blogged about it. Tobin had been very sick, and I was very worried. I used to ask Tobin every morning, "What did you dream about last night?" His answer was the same every morning: "nothing." On this particular morning, after we had both been up many times in the night doing breathing treatments, Tobin told me, "Last night, I dreamed that angels were flying around me."

     This morning, he told me more of his dream:

"I was walking up a long staircase to God's castle. God's castle is very big. It's bigger than Asia; the biggest continent. It's made of gold. The angels in heaven are brighter than the angels on earth. They were so bright, I was afraid I was going to go blind, but I didn't. I saw Jesus. I knew it was Him right away. He was glowing. He was wearing white with a blue cloth. There was a big cloud over the castle. It was glowing. God was in that cloud. It was such a peaceful dream...it was so peaceful. An angel told me that tomorrow, I would be healed by the one true Lord. And I was, Mom. The next day, I got better." He also told me that in God's temple in heaven, there is a room where you can see all the Bible stories. He said it's like they're real, and you can watch them.

     After he told me his dream, I went downstairs and was talking very quietly with my mom on the phone. Tobin was upstairs brushing his teeth. There is no way he could have heard what he said next. I was telling my mom a little bit about Olive. There was a peson that painted a picture of an olive branch with Olive's name written like this: O-Live! And her name means awaken or awakening. When I came upstairs, Tobin told me this: "I have another prayer for Awaken." I asked him if I told her what Olive's name meant. He said no and continued: "This is my prayer for Awaken. That tomorrow she would be healed by the one true Lord, like I was." Tomorrow would mark the 3rd day. The day that Olive's parents are asking God to raise their daughter from the dead.

     I told Tobin that I wished I could have a dream like that. He replied, "You have. Remember the dream you had about Poppy?" I had forgotten. I had an amazing dream about my grandfather that was straight up from heaven. I saw my grandfather with a new body and happy and at peace. He was simply put: beautiful and full of peace.

     I'm in awe of my boy that hears from God. My Tobin Solomon. My boy who is full of wisdom at such a young age. I'm thankful and I'm humbled. I'm humbled to call Tobin my son and Adelyn my daughter. I'm humbled to call River my daughter. I'm humbled that I still have time on earth to love my little ones. I'm thankful and grateful and humbled and completely wrecked by God's love for me. I am the most undeserving creature. I don't deserve any kind of happiness, success, love, joy, peace. But He gives it. Because He loves me.

     Praying for a miracle for Olive. Praying for perspective. Praying that the world will see a miracle and praise God for it. Thankful for Tobin. Thankful to call him my son. I'm going to hang onto his words forever.



   

One fine Sunday.

December 15, 2019
Day 1,174

Thankful for:

beef bourguignon.

a fresh baguette.

red wine.

being able to see Santa from the edge of our driveway; the fire department comes by ever December.

I love where we live.

a good day with my husband.

time to play outside with the kids.

leaving pumpkins outside for the deer to eat.

planting pumpkin seeds and hoping that maybe something will come up one day.

woodpeckers.

the last week of school before Christmas break.

my new book.

Twilight marathon on TV.

Christmas break coming soon.

December 14, 2019
Day 1,173

Thankful for:

time to do some Christmas shopping with my husband.

carts full of Christmas gifts for my babies.

the feeling of being done with Christmas shopping.

Christmas break coming soon.

plans for Christmas break.

plans to bake cookies, watch movies, play, and relax.

being able to celebrate Casey being promoted to black belt.

time with my family.

my mom's lemon bars.

The feel of a new, big book in my hand.

December 13, 2019
Day 1,172

Thankful for:

the Christmas party at work.

time by myself while I drove to Barnes and Noble.

the smell of the bookstore.

the feel of a new book in my hand.

a big, new book to read.

days when my husband picks up the kids from school.

knowing that he takes good care of them.

Six on a Thursday.

December 12, 2019
Day 1,171

Thankful for:

Chapel days.

Christmas program practice.

Thursdays.

Things to be thankful for on Thursdays.

Tomorrow is Friday.

Texts from my husband.

Six on a Wednesday.

December 11, 2019
Day 1,170

Thankful for:

Wednesdays.

My home.

My husband.

My babies.

My job.

Things to be thankful for.

Two hour delay.

December 10, 2019
Day 1,169

     Thankful for a dreary day. For friends. For my cousin. For quinoa with parsley and red onion and tomatoes. Thankful for Christmas lights. Thankful for Higbee. Thankful that Tobin could stay home with Matt today and relex. He needed a mental health day. Thankful for the feeling of being caught up on schoolwork. Thankful for "Little House on the Prairie Day." Thankful for mugs of tea and a little bowl of blister peanuts. Thanful for Friends. Thankful for a two hour delay tomorrow. I love being able to turn off my alarm. Thankful for time to sleep in bed.

8 things.

December 9, 2019
Day 1,168

Thankful for:

 A good Monday.

The feeling of getting all my papers graded.

Being caught up on school stuff.

A fun party day tomorrow.

Sweet students.

Higbee.

My kids.

Tea and peanuts.

Stephanie.

December 8, 2019
Day 1,167

Thankful for:

Stephanie.

time to celebrate Stephanie's birthday.

Sweetwater.

ice cream cake.

party crowns and glasses.

Maggie.

time spent with family.

Chop house salad at Sweetwater.

Lovely day with my children.

December 7, 2019
Day 1,166

Thankful for:

a lovely day with my children.

a date with my babes at a Mexican restaurant.

Christmas shopping.

milkshakes.

buying presents for people for Christmas.

driving around in my new car.

Pizza for dinner.

December 6, 2019
Day 1,165

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

Decorating our school for Christmas.

Time to catch up with old friends.

Pizza for dinner.

Eating pizza for dinner in bed while watching Friends. 

Recess and Lunch.

December 5, 2019
Day 1,164

Thankful for:

Thursdays.

Things to be thankful for on Thursdays.

The weekend coming soon.

Time to cuddle with Higbee.

My children.

My husband.

My students.

Cold air.

Recess with one of my favorite friends.

Lunch with one of my favorite friends.

Mugs of tea and tiny bowls of blister peanuts.

December 4, 2019
Day 1,163

Thankful for:

Wednesdays.

A job that I love.

A home that I adore and that brings me joy and comfort.

The magic of the Christmas season.

Buddy, our elf.

The glow of the Christmas tree.

Friends and mugs of tea and tiny bowls of blister peanuts.

Socks.

Good Day.

December 3, 2019
Day 1,162

     It was a good day. It was cold. I had a lovely sandwich for lunch. I am a bit obsessed with sandwiches. My students were sweet. Recess was cold and windy. Adelyn and Tobin were cuddly and wanted lots of kisses. I got to see a sweet, fluffy, fat puppy with a cold, black nose. I got to have dinner with my sister. We had impossible whoppers. They were delicious. We went to Costco and Trader Joe's. We got lots of fun treats and goodies. We listened to music and laughed. Tomorrow is Wednesday and there are only two more Wednesdays after tomorrow until Christmas break. There was a weather alert of a little snow on the way tonight. I love snow. I love waking up to a fresh blanket of white. Even if it's just a dusting. Thankful for time with my sister. Thankful for a very good day.

"Tomorrow is always fresh; with no mistakes in it."

December 2, 2019
Day 1,161

Thankful for:

a cold, windy day.

recess time.

a sandwich for lunch.

kisses and hugs from my babes.

driving my new car to work.

Higbee cuddling in the morning.

not wanting to get out of bed because my bed is so cozy.

winter.

December.

the Christmas season; it's filled with magic.

leftovers for dinner.

an early to bed night for me and the kids.

books in bed together.

homework done.

a clean kitchen and everything prepped for tomorrow morning.

time to lay in bed.

time to write about what's good.

birds.

deer.

my gravel driveway.

hot tea and pumpkin seeds in bed while I watch Friends. 

another new day tomorrow.

I love this quote: "Tomorrow is always fresh; with no mistakes in it." -Lucy Maud Montgomery

the feeling of a brand new day tomorrow.

time to sleep.

Turducken.

December 1, 2019
Day 1,160

Thankful for:

a lovely, rainy, quiet, peaceful day at home.

my family.

blankets on the couch.

time to watch movies.

another Thanksgiving meal to savor.

homemade Turducken.

gravy.

mashed potatoes.

stuffing.

cranberries two ways: canned and homemade sauce.

black olives.

biscuits.

pies.

my parents.

It was the best Sunday.

Beef Bourguignon.

November 30, 2019
Day 1,159

Thankful for:

Instant Pot Beef Bourguignon. To die for!

Served with crusty, hot bread.

And wine.

And buttered noodles.

Could this break be any better?


Cold air. Family. Christmas decorations. It's a good, good day.

Grocery List

November 29, 2019

Day 1,158

Thankful for: 

Bread

Pesto

Olives

Tomato

Mozzarella

Butter

Burrata 

Basil

Wine

Thanksgiving Day.

November 28, 2019
Day 1,157

Thankful for:

cheese and crackers.

wine.

good food.

Christmas decorations.

time to talk with family.

old pictures hanging on the wall.

cold, cold air outside.

time to cuddle on the couch with Matt.

Addy and Tobin; they make every day lovely and worth living.

Thanksgiving Day; a day to celebrate all the many things we have to be thankful for.

Time with all the loves of my life.

November 27, 2019
Day 1,156

Thankful for:

the first day of Thanksgiving break.

seeing Frozen 2 as a family.

popcorn and candy.

MOD pizza for dinner.

time with all the loves of my life.

Not having to set my alarm.

November 26, 2019
Day 1,155

Thankful for:

the last day of school before Thanksgiving break.

Thanksgiving break.

not having to set my alarm for tomorrow morning.

all the time I will get to spend with my family over the break.

Crunchy, gravel.

November 25, 2019
Day 1,154

Thankful for:

a good Monday.

only one more day until we're off for Thanksgiving break.

sweet students.

recess time.

things to be thankful for.

fall leaves.

cold air.

crunchy gravel driveways.

Little list of three.

November 24, 2019
Day 1,153

Thankful for:

a day called Sunday.

things to be thankful for.

a short week at school coming up.

Fun Saturdays!

November 23, 2019
Day 1,152

Thankful for:

being able to pick up my new car today!

driving around in my new car!

listening to music in my new car!

the kids watching separate movies in my new car!

my husband for buying it for me!

time to clean our house.

relexing in our clean home.

fun Saturdays!

New car. Best husband.

November 22, 2019
Day 1,151

     Matt has been using my dad's truck for a year now. His car, Dead Red, is well...dead. My dad keeps resurrecting her, but she needs to be laid to rest. After we refinanced our home, Matt took out a loan so he could get a new car. Instead of buying himself a car, he bought me one instead. It's a beautiful car, and it's so luxurious. We named it: Blue Steel. She's a beauty!

     I am so in love with my husband. God knew I needed him and his love. He thinks of me and our family before himself. He truly loves us and cares for us and provides for us unselfishly.

     Thankful for my new car! Thankful for my husband. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about him!

There are things to write about.

November 21, 2019
Day 1,150

Thankful that:

It's Thursday.

Thanksgiving is one week away.

It was a good day at school.

I have sweet students.

My children are amazing.

My husband loves me.

There are things to write about.

Good month, season, day.

November 20, 2019
Day 1,149

     Thankful for the middle of the week. Thankful for Thanksgiving coming soon. Thankful for my husband. For my children. For my dog. For our home. For my family. Thankful for cold air and glorious winter sunsets and sunrises. Thankful for things to be thankful for. It's a good month. It's a good season. It was a good day.

Freely given.

November 19, 2019
Day 1,148

     Thankful for my children. Thankful for their eyes. For the way they love each other. For the way they are always playing. Thankful for the way that Adelyn takes care of Tobin, and for the way that Tobin depends on Adelyn. Thankful for their friendship. Thankful that I get to be their mother. Thankful that I get to wake them up each morning. Thankful that I get to kiss them goodnight before bed. Thankful for the time we get to spend together. Thankful for the way they make me laugh. I don't deserve them; they are a gift. Freely given by a God who loves me.

Matt.

November 18, 2019
Day 1,147

     Thankful for my husband. For the way he makes me laugh. For the way our home feels full and jovial when he's in it. For the way it feels empty and silent when he's gone. Thankful for his face and his smile and his hands. His hands are my favorite part of him. I love the way they look and feel. I love the way they feel against my hand, or my face, or when he's hugging me. God knew I needed Matt. Thankful for our lovely life together. It's good and full and wonderful. I've done nothing to deserve this goodness. It's all a gift. He's a gift. I am thankful.

There isn't room to list it all.

November 17, 2019
Day 1,146

     Thankful for time with family. For delicious food. For many hugs and kisses and smiles. Thankful for walks in the woods. For cold air. For dessert with ice cream and whipped cream. Thankful for so many things to be thankful for, there isn't room enough to list it all.

Home is my favorite place in the world.

Day 1,145

     Today was lovely. We relaxed and watched movies. I cleaned the house. The kids played outside. Matt cleaned up the leaves. I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. I had wine with dinner. It was delicious.

     Thankful for cold air. For our home. For my family. For my dog. For the way the floor of my home feels under my feet. For the smell of my home. For the way the leaves look through the windows. For the feelings and smells and sights of home. Home is my favorite place in the world.

Cold air outside.

November 15, 2019
Day 1,144

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

getting work done at school.

glorious winter sunsets.

cold air outside.

grilled cheese and ham sandwiches for dinner.

soup for dinner.

cookies.

my husband who brings me hot tea when my head is hurting.

time to lay in bed and watch shows.

phone calls with Jason.

Thanksgiving break coming soon.

Mother/Daughter Date.

November 14, 2019
Day 1,143

Thankful for:

Thursdays.

time with my daughter on a mommy/daughter date.

Trader Joe's .

MOD pizza for dinner.

fun conversations in the car with my girl.

hugs from my kids.

tomorrow is Friday.

Three more.

November 13, 2019
Day 1,142

Thankful for:

the work week is almost over.

my home.

my family.

Just three.

November 12, 2019
Day 1,141

Thankful for:

 a good first day back to school.

sweet students.

the feeling of coming home after work.

Dolphins in the sunrise.

November 11, 2019
Day 1,140

Thankful for:

seeing dolphins in the sunrise.

watching the sunrise.

thousands of birds making noise in the sound.

finding awesome shells on the beach.

seeing a bald eagle.

seeing my kids and Higbee.

coming home.

the feeling of sleeping in my own bed.

the feeling of the floor of my house under my feet.

Another day at the beach.

November 10, 2019
Day 1,139

Thankful for:

another day at the beach.

time to sit and be quiet on the sand.

sunsets.

birds.

water.

movies.

good food.

ice cream.

time to cuddle with my love.

Time for love.

Novemer 9, 2019
Day 1,138

Thankful for:

good food.

the beach.

shells.

birds.

the sound.

the sea.

salt.

sand.

time to sit on the beach and be quiet.

movies.

my husband.

time to sleep.

time to be lazy.

time to love my love.

A safe drive to the Outer Banks with my love.

November 8, 2019
Day 1,137

Thankful for:

a safe drive to the Outer Banks with my love.

time to talk.

good music.

knowing my kids and Higbee are being cared for well by my sister.

two days to spend at the beach with Matt.

Driving away with Matt.

November 7, 2019
Day 1,136

Thankful for:

Matt and I get to drive away together tomorrow.

our annual trip to the Outer Banks.

listening to music we don't get to listen to with kids in the car.

junk food.

time to talk and be together alone.

Rodanthe.

the beach.

they way Matt loves me.

burgers and fries.

root beer.

salt air.

Good things.

November 6, 2019
Day 1,135

Thankful for:

things to be thankful for.

my children.

my home.

my husband.

my family.

my students.

my vehicle.

my job.

my dog.

good things.

14 years of marriage.

November 5, 2019
Day 1,134

Thankful for:

my husband.

14 years of marriage.

19 years together.

our children.

our home.

our dog.

the love we share.

Matt brought home a card, flowers, and black olives for me as an anniversary gift.

we're driving away together this weekend to celebrate our anniversary together.

we're going to see the beach very soon.

roasted chicken, roasted carrots, roasted potatoes, rice, brussel sprouts, spinach, and pomegranate for dinner.

hugs and cuddles from my babies today.

the feeling of having completed work.

Bed at 6:30 pm.

November 4, 2019
Day 1,133

Thankful for:

Mondays.

buying books for my babies at the book fair.

dinner as a family.

soup and sandwiches for dinner.

going to bed at 6:30 pm.

a day off tomorrow.

Days when I don't leave the house at all.

November 3, 2019
Day 1,132

Thankful for:

Sundays.

days when I don't leave the house at all.

my family.

my home.

peace and quiet.

The feeling on my tongue when I say November.

November 2, 2019
Day 1,131

Thankful for:

a fun Trunk or Treat event at our school.

candy.

fun nights for my kids.

cold air.

books.

the feeling on my tongue when I say November.

the holidays coming.

pizza.

The first day of November.

November 1, 2019
Day 1,130

Thankful for:

November; it's a sweet month.

busy days are ending soon.

the first day of a new month.

the Fun Run at our school today was so fun.

a Book Fair at our school. I love Book Fairs.

fun days coming soon.

Fun days with my babies.

October 31, 2019
Day 1,129

Thankful for:

Halloween.

time to trick or treat with my children.

time with Steph and Mario.

candy.

costumes.

fun days with my babies.

A regular Wednesday.

October 30, 2019
Day 1,128

Thankful for:

a quiet day.

a day with nothing on my calendar.

a regular Wednesday.

a day when I got to come home on time and make dinner for my family.

my home.

my dog.

the woods.

things to be thankful for.

Quiet days coming soon.

October 29, 2019
Day 1,127

Thankful for:

quiet days coming soon.

buys days ending soon.

my students.

the people I work with.

my friend, Heidi.

Patty.

people who love me.

Long drives with talking; no music. Long drives with music; no talking.

October 28, 2019
Day 1,126

Thankful for:

time with my sister.

impossible whoppers for dinner.

long drives with no music; just talking.

long drives with no talking; just music.

my dad.

my dad driving us directly to our destination in DC.

a relaxing concert.

music.

beautiful music.

my dad waiting directly outside of the concert venue to pick us up afterwards.

time with family is time well spent.

A day spent mostly on the couch.

October 27, 2019
Day 1,125

Thankful for:

a long walk down the driveway with Matt this morning.

finding cool rocks after the rain.

getting all my grading done.

going into the week caught up with school work.

my babies playing all day together.

legos.

leftover tacos for lunch and dinner.

leftover cake and ice cream.

leftover rain on the deck this morning.

colorful leaves.

the knowledge that this was the last annoying ass hot day.

Friends. 

a day spent mostly on the couch.

beer with dinner.

the way my kids love each other.

the way my husband loves me.

Cilantro and sangria.

October 26, 2019
Day 1,124

Thankful for:

sangria

tacos and fajitas

cilantro

pico de galleo

sour cream

a giant cake

ice cream

people who love my family

time to celebrate Matt

a good night with Matt

kissing him for the first time in a week

happy kids with their dada

Party.

October 25, 2019
Day 1,123

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

time to clean my house.

ingredients to make a party for my love tomorrow.

people coming to my house to celebrate Matt tomorrow.

taco fixings.

a giant cake with a celebratory message.

the weekend.

The morning light.

October 24, 2019
Day 1,122

Thankful for:

a safe drive to work.

air in my lungs.

getting out of bed in the morning.

being able to see the trees and the woods in the morning.

the morning light.

only a few more days until I see my love.

my babies.

Higbee.

my job.

my students.

Leaving work while it was still light out.

October 23, 2019
Day 1,121

Thankful for:

getting home early.

leaving work while it was still light out.

my children.

Higbee being happy to see me when I come home.

things to be thankful for.

The feeling of November.

October 22, 2019
Day 1,120

Thankful for:

conversations with my mom, Patty, and Jason.

texts from my husband.

leftovers for dinner.

cuddly Higbee.

a messy, but beautiful home.

messages on my phone from my cousin.

the feeling of being somewhat caught up at school.

October is going to be over soon.

the feeling of relaxing in Novemeber.

I'm going to the beach soon.

time to sleep.

healthy food to eat for school tomorrow.

celery.

apples

kisses from my babies.

my babies.

my job.

a fresh new day tomorrow.

my bed.

Fresh new weeks.

October 21, 2019
Day 1,119

Thankful for:

Mondays.

fresh new weeks with no mistakes in them.

rearranging my classroom.

feeling more comfortable in my work area.

a big classroom.

sweet students.

time to sleep at night.

Higbee being cuddly.

my kids.

hugs and kisses from them.

time to relax and watch TV

Listening to the rain.

October 20, 2019
Day 1,118

Thankful for:

days where I sit on the couch all day.

listening to the rain.

watching the rain.

walking in the rain with Higbee.

grading papers all day.

my husband bringing home dinner for our family.

watching Friends all day.

time to be quiet.

quiet children.

chocolate and tea.

giving my husband a haircut.

Moo Thru.

October 19, 2019
Day 1,116

Thankful for:

a fun, busy day.

new pants.

new decorations for our home.

dinner out with my mom.

ice cream from Moo Thru not once, but twice today.

cold air.

frost warnings.

coming home and sleeping after a very busy day.

Glorious sunsets.

October 18, 2019
Day 1,115

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

a busy day tomorrow because that means a relaxing day is the day after.

time to sit and watch Friends. 

cold air.

windy days.

glorious sunsets.

evening light.

The hope of quiet days soon.

October 17, 2019
Day 1,114

Thankful for:

tomorrow is Friday.

Haymarket Day is Saturday.

I don't have any plans for Sunday.

the hope of quiet days soon.

my family.

kisses from my families.

Noah and the Ark.

October 16, 2019
Day 1,113

     I showed my students a video of Noah's ark today. It occurred to me while we were watching that there was no electricity on the ark. There were no real bathrooms. There was no kitchen with a stove and a refrigerator. There was no TV. There were no magazines or books. There were no comforts of any kind. Except for the hope and faith that Noah and his family held in their hearts. It occurred to me that they had never seen rain before. They had never heard thunder. They had never seen lightning. They were on a dark boat in the middle of an entire earth full of water.

     They I thought of this: God didn't remove them from their situation. God saw them through the situation. He carried them and watched over them and provided for them. Sometimes God helps us out of a situation, but other times, he tells us to build an ark and to trust Him through the storm. Even if it rains for 40 days and 40 nights.

     I trust Him.
     Thankful for Noah. For the ark. And for storms.

A fresh, new day tomorrow with no mistakes in it.

October 15, 2019
Day 1,112

Thankful for:

Tobin.

October 15th.

Foster's for dinner.

Waking Tobin up this morning; his first day as a seven year old.

Kissing him goodnight last night; his last day as a six year old.

milkshakes at Foster's.

a Wegman's white cake for Tobin's birthday celebration tonight.

seeing Tobin's face light up with his new gifts.

time to sleep.

a fresh, new day tomorrow; with no mistakes in it.

Milkshakes.

October 14, 2019
Day 1,111

Thankful for:

a day to set up my new classroom.

CAVA for lunch.

my babies; they were patient with me today.

milkshakes; they make bad things feel better.

Tobin's birthday party.

October 13, 2019
Day 1,110

Thankful for:

Tobin's birthday party.

fire pits.

food.

family.

fun times with the sweetest boy in the world.

seeing my boy smile on his birthday.

Tobin's birthday celebration dinner.

October 12, 2019
Day 1,109

Thankful for:

new paint for Tobin's room.

new decorations for Tobin's room.

Wegman's.

impromptu lunch with Steph and Mario.

Tobin's room looking awesome after Matt and I painted.

Tobin's birthday celebration tomorrow.

Moving day.

October 11, 2019
Day 1,108

Thankful for:

moving day.

putting my new stuff in my classroom.

making plans for my new space.

my students being excited about our new space.

short list.

Moving day tomorrow.

October 10, 2019
Day 1,107

Thankful for:

my last full day of school in our school building.

moving day tomorrow.

a big classroom in our new school building.

coffee.

a fun weekend coming up.

List.

October 9, 2019
Day 1,106

Thankful for:

Wednesdays.

my children.

my husband.

my sister.

my mom.

my dad.

my brother.

my dog.

my sister in law.

my brother in law.

my mother in law.

my brother in law.

my nieces.

my nephew.

my home.

clothes to wear.

my job.

my students.

A day called Tuesday.

October 8, 2019
Day 1,105

Thankful for:

a day called Tuesday.

going to a new school building next week.

sweet students.

sweet Adelyn and Tobin.

Friends. 

Time to be at home.

October 7, 2019
Day 1,104

Thankful for:

Mondays.

the month of October.

cool weather coming soon.

Tobin's birthday coming up soon.

time to be at home.

Very fine Sundays.

October 6, 2019
Day 1,103

Thankful for:

cool weather.

walking Higbee in the cool morning.

playing outside with my family.

baseball.

badminton.

tree climbs.

skinned arms.

chairs in our yard.

cookies for snack time.

blister peanuts.

plans to go to my sister's for family dinner.

the feeling of going into a new week caught up on literally: everything.

moving to our new school home at the end of this week.

cool weather. I said it before, but I'm saying it again. I'm just so thankful for it.

letting Higbee run fast and far.

seeing Higbee play with his truck and his deflated basketball.

playing on the trampoline with my family.

laughing with my family.

quiet mornings spent at home.

church done at home this morning.

coffee on the couch.

showers in the afternoon.

very fine Sundays.

You're the best mom in the world. You're famous.

October 5, 2019
Day 1,102

Thankful for:

cold air.

walks in the cold air.

time to sit outside and not be hot.

time to be home.

time to sit on my couch and watch TV.

Impractical Jokers. 

Friends. 

hot tea.

peanuts.

soup for dinner.

mint chocolate chip ice cream with hot fudge.

my papers all graded.

checking things off my checklist for school.

cuddling with Higbee.

another day off with my loves tomorrow.

hugs from my girl and my boy.

Tobin telling me that, "You're the best mom in the world."

Adelyn telling me that, "You're famous." She googled my name and my picture came up for my school. She was so amazed.

Matt being off tomorrow.

things to be thankful for.

Friday night.

October 4, 2019
Day 1,101

Thankful for:

Friday night.

medicine to help me feel better.

knowing that I'm going to be home all day tomorrow.

knowing that I'm not going to go anywhere all day on Saturday.

homemade pizza for dinner.

sitting on the couch with Matt and talking.

my kids relaxing on a Friday night.

Fun nights at the roller skating rink.

October 3, 2019
Day 1,100

Thankful for:

fun nights with my family at the roller skating rink.

watching Adelyn eat pizza and have a drink of water at the roller skating rink.

riding home late at night with my babies.

tomorrow is Friday.

hugs and kisses from my husband.

seeing my husband play with our kids.

the feeling of being home.

the woods.

fall is coming soon.

Glorious sunsets that make you happy to be alive.

October 2, 2019
Day 1,099

Thankful for:

glorious sunsets that make me happy to be alive.

colors that you can't quite describe.

a good day at work.

a good back to school night.

sweet students.

sweet Adelyn and Tobin.

the way Higbee reacts when I come home from work.

kisses from my husband.

being able to talk to my friend, Sasha.

being able to talk to my cousin, Lauren.

lavender oil.

the feeling of being home.

the feeling of getting stuff done.

October 1st.

October 1, 2019
Day 1,098

Thankful for:

the first day of October.

the promise of fall coming soon.

the promise of rest coming soon.

a busy week.

a quiet weekend coming up.

Higbee being happy to see me when I get home.

Time when I'm not busy and not at meetings.

September 30, 2019
Day 1,097

Thankful for:

a rainy, cloudy Monday.

rainy Mondays are the greatest.

sweet students.

a productive day.

my children who are so well behaved and sweet and loving.

doing homework with my kids.

a busy week ahead.

meetings.

time when I'm not busy and not at meetings.

time to sleep.

Sunday family dinner.

September 29, 2019
Day 1,096

Thankful for:

Sundays.

church with my babies.

Trader Joe's.

a cart full treats and goodies.

a busy home on Sunday.

Sunday family dinner.

a loud house.

a quiet house when everyone left for the night.

a good phone call with my good friend.

the feeling of a clean kitchen.

Waking up in the woods.

September 28, 2019
Day 1,095

Thankful for:

a day called Saturday.

time to sit on the couch and watch TV.

Impractical Jokers. 

rain.

thunder.

hanging with my sister.

hanging with my kids and my nieces and nephews.

deer in the backyard.

a clean kitchen.

another day off with my loves.

another day to show them how much I love them.

the woods.

waking up in the woods.

walking in the woods.

getting stuff done for school.

time to laugh.

time to write.

the sound of the keys as I type.

Matt will be home tomorrow.

Friday nights.

September 27, 2019
Day 1,094

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

noodles.

a day to go to bed early.

Friends. 

nights when my kids can relax and watch TV and not do homework.

things to be thankful for.

Fun nights.

September 26, 2019
Day 1,093

Thankful for:

Friday tomorrow.

the weekend coming soon.

Friends. 

hot tea before bed.

fun nights at the roller skating rink.

Higbee being so happy to see us when we came home.

Cool air in the morning.

September 25, 2019
Day 1,092

Thankful for:

the cool breeze

blue sky

cool air in the morning

the hope of fall coming soon

the hope of cold weather coming soon

Higbee's kisses when I come home

walking with Matt after school

going to bed early

salad for lunch tomorrow

reading books to Tobin before bed

watching Adelyn play with dolls in her room

easy dinners

my bed

tomorrow is Thursday

a fun night planned tomorrow at the roller skating rink

a very sweet class

The end of a long, hard day.

September 24, 2019
Day 1,091

Thankful for:

the end of a long, hard day.

time to sleep.

my home in the woods.

my children.

my husband.

Friends. 

Cool air must be coming...

September 23, 2019
Day 1,090

Thankful for:

leftover cake

ice cream

cucumbers, carrots, and olives for lunch tomorrow

hugs from Tobin

wishes for more time with me from Tobin.

medicine to help Tobin feel better

a good day

a day where much was accomplished

a quiet recess time

sweet students

phone calls with my mom

cool air must be coming soon because today was the first day of fall

time to sleep

words

music

things to be thankful for

people who love me

people to love

A praying mantis on our door.

September 22, 2019
Day 1,089

Thankful for:

church at home this morning.

Pastor Mike Hilson.

worship music.

waking up in the woods.

waking up knowing that whatever is going to happen today is in the hands of the Author who knows what's He's doing and I can trust Him.

time to write.

time to think.

time to pray.

a praying mantis on our door.

blue sky days.

cool temperatures are coming soon.

an email from my friend.

a birthday party to go to today for my brother in law.

Patty's homemade mac and cheese and brisket.

talking with my husband.

being able to call Matt my husband.

prayers with my children. I love the way they pray.

new revelations.

the Author.

the One.

the feeling of trusting Him when I'm afraid.

A quietly, grand day.

September 21, 2019
Day 1,088

Thankful for:

a day to do nothing at all but lay around and relax and eat good food.

hugs and cuddles from my babies.

lots of movies.

lots of shows.

lots of video games.

days when I don't leave the house at all.

"home clothes."

worship music.

time to write.

time to watch Impractical Jokers. 

pasta for dinner.

soup and sandwiches for lunch.

bagels and eggs for breakfast.

chips to eat while watching TV.

new revelations.

a quietly, grand day.

Wind.

September 20, 2019
Day 1,087

Thankful for:

Friday nights.

a car full of good food to eat.

plans to do nothing at all on Saturday but watch movies and eat good food.

time at home with my family.

our home in the woods.

Higbee.

Matt.

my children.

phone calls with my mom.

bringing papers home to grade so I will be caught up going into the new week at school.

not having to set my alarm for the next day.

soup and sandwiches for dinner.

cool evenings.

warm afternoons with coolness in the breeze.

wind; when wind touches my skin, I am feeling something that came straight from heaven.

This exercise in thankfulness.

September 19, 2019
Day 1,086

Thankful for:

this exercise in thankfulness every day.

students who missed me when I was gone from them.

my classroom.

my job.

the weekend coming up.

things to be thankful for.

Tobin and days at home.

September 18, 2019
Day 1,085

Thankful for:

a day off with Tobin.

Tobin's words as I was putting him to bed the night before: "I can't wait for our day together tomorrow. It's just me and you, right?"

going shopping with Tobin and looking at Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations.

playing Nintendo with Tobin.

watching shows with Tobin.

picking Adelyn up from school.

children to call my own.

days at home.

Getting to come home early.

September 17, 2019
Day 1,084

Thankful for:

a day that we got to come home early because Tobin wasn't feeling well. It's not that I'm happy that Tobin wasn't feeling well. It was just so good to come home early and relax.

a relaxing evening.

time to write.

time to pray.

time to listen to music.

a quick and easy, yet nutritious dinner.

things to be thankful for.

Long, hard day...but.

September 16, 2019
Day 1,083

Thankful for the end of this day. It was long. It was hard. I can't concentrate because I'm so tired, but let me say this: I am thankful for this sweet life. Thankful for time to eat apples, cheese, and nuts. Thankful for hot tea. It was a good day.

Sundays.

September 15, 2019
Day 1,082

Thankful for:

Sundays.

an extremely clean house.

organized closets.

organized and cleaned and fresh kithcne.

coffee.

doughnuts covered in chocolate.

my dad.

my mom.

dinner at my sister.

A clean house.

September 14, 2019
Day 1,081

Thankful for:

my dad.

finished projects.

a clean house.

time to relax and watch tv at night.

time to clean more tomorrow.

Soup on the couch with "The Office."

September 13, 2019
Day 1,080

Thankful for:

Patty. She saved me today. I am so, so sick, and she came in and taught my class, graded papers, went to the pharmacy for me, bought me chips and cough drops, and loved me. I would be so lost without her.

texts from Matt.

prayer from people who love me.

Heidi.

the end of a very hard day at school.

Matt and Patty painting the red out of our kitchen with a lovely creme color.

time to snuggle in bed with Odette.

medicine to take this infection away.

soup on the couch with The Office. 

two days off of work.

Plans to paint the kitchen.

September 12, 2019
Day 1,079

Thankful for:

the end of this week coming very soon.

people who pray for me when I'm sick.

time to sleep when I'm sick.

plans to paint the kitchen.

Everybody needs a Patty.

September 11, 2019
Day 1,078

     Thankful for time to lay in bed and watch TV. Thankful for soup when I don't feel good. Thankful for medicine. Thankful for The Office. Thankful for my husband. Thankful that tomorrow is Thursday. And the next day is Friday. Thankful that after next week, my school is moving to a new building. I'm very excited to have a big classroom. Thankful that fall is coming very soon. Thankful for hugs from Tobin when he's feeling nervous or scared. Thankful for hot tea with honey when I don't feel good. Thankful for my sister. She's going to come paint our kitchen to help us prepare for our appraisal. We are refinancing our house. Everybody needs a Patty. She's the greatest. Thankful for phone calls with my mom. Thankful for so many things to be thankful for.

Watching TV in bed.

September 10, 2019
Day 1,077

Thankful for:

successful days at school.

nights when I have everything done quickly so I can get into bed early.

America's Got Talent.

watching TV in bed.

soup for dinner.

homemade chicken broth.

garlic.

Higbee.

my kids.

water.

hot tea.

coffee.

salad for lunch with lots of fixings.

peanuts.

sweet students to call mine for a year.

Quick lists.

September 9, 2019
Day 1,076

Thankful for:

Mondays.

mornings when I have everything prepared the night before.

a fresh, new week of school.

quick lists.

Odette and Ryker.

September 8, 2019
Day 1,075

Thankful for:

hugs and kisses from Odette and Ryker.

a good talk with my brother and my sister at the end of the night.

the sound of sleeping children.

a new week starting tomorrow morning.

hot tea.

an apple with almond butter.

sleepy Higbee.

texts from my husband.

time to sleep.

Eight.

September 7, 2019
Day 1,074

Thankful for:

a quiet day spent at home.

medicine for when I'm not feeling well.

cranberry juice; it may be the most tart thing I have ever tasted.

leftover carrots that have been roasted with a chicken.

time to get a long, hot bath.

my kids.

my husband.

Higbee.

Five things on a Friday night.

September 6, 2019
Day 1,073

Thankful for:

movie night with my family.

time to cuddle on the couch.

two whole days to spend at home with my family.

a house full of good groceries.

black olives and raw sauerkraut; I love briny things.

Lemon chicken with fresh sage, rosemary, and thyme.

September 5, 2019
Day 1,072

     Thankful for a good day at school. Thankful for sweet students. Thankful for a very productive day. Thankful for a delicious dinner of lemon chicken with fresh sage, rosemary, and thyme. Thankful for a good lunch tomorrow of leftover lemon chicken with fresh sage, rosemary, and thyme. Thankful for the feeling of fall in the air. Thankful for an after dinner walk with Matt and Higbee. Thankful for the sound of Adelyn reading in her room. Thankful for the sound of Tobin playing with stuffed animals in his room. Thankful that tomorrow is Friday. Thankful for things to be thankful for.

Yes.

September 4, 2019
Day 1,071

     Thankful for the end to this long, hard day. Thankful that with this night's sleep, I can get some rest and clarity. Thankful that new days begin again in the morning. Thankful for my husband who loves me even when I'm feeling scrappy. Thankful for my husband who said "yes" to going out to eat when my brain just wouldn't work right when I was trying to cook dinner. Thankful for milkshakes, burgers, and fries. Sometimes, it's a necessity. Thankful for time to lay in bed and watch TV with my husband. Thankful for my children. They make every day lovely and worth it. Thankful that my husband forgives me. Thankful for chances to be better and do better. Thankful for the way he loves me. Thankful for the way my children love me.

Five things on a Tuesday.

September 3, 2019
Day 1,070

Thankful for:

texts from my husband.

time to lay in bed and hold the remote and watch whatever I want without feeling bad. I'm really selfish with the remote.

olives, tomatoes, cucumbers, and red onion.

a good day back to school.

a short week of school.

A great Monday.

September 2, 2019
Day 1,069

     Thankful for an extra day at home with my loves. We spent most of our day at Matt's sister's house. We had a delicious meal. We had time to sit and relax and laugh and talk. Thankful for a rainy evening. Thankful for cookies and ice cream and time to relax with my husband. Thankful for phone calls with my mom. Thankful for Higbee and how happy he is to see me when I come home. I love his eyes and his very soft ears. Thankful for a great Monday. Thankful for a new month of school. I love September.

      Thankful.

Another day off tomorrow.

September 1, 2019
Day 1,068

     Thankful for the first day of September. Thankful for a lovely day at home with family. Thankful for church on Sundays. For Sunday drives through the rolling hills of Virginia. Thankful for a day that wasn't too hot. Thankful for delicious food. Thankful for sweet potatoes. Thankful a clean kitchen. Thankful for another day off tomorrow. I can't wait to relax with all my loves.

Birthday parties.

August 31, 2019
Day 1,067

     Thankful for:

a sweet day with family.

lemon cake.

vanilla ice cream.

birthday parties.

subs for dinner.

black olives, pickles, and onions.

America's Got Talent.

nights when Matt is home and I can sleep in bed with him.

Snake Lessons.

August 30, 2019
Day 1,066

     I've been sad lately. I wrote a little children's book that I wanted to get published. I looked into it and it would cost me $8,000 to get it published. We can't do that. We don't have $8,000 extra dollars laying around. I have been working on other writing elsewhere, but I so want to be a published author. I thought that this might be a fun way to get published and get my name out there so I might get picked up and offered a book deal for my book of essays. More than anything, a writer needs time. And I don't have time. Being paid to write would allow me to have time.

     The other day, Matt called me out to see a large snake crawling up a tree in our yard. He was huge and fascinating. I stood there and watched him a long, long time. I took pictures. I was enchanted. Then I had a thought: Eve was enchanted. In a garden named Eden, she stood a long, long time staring at a snake in a tree. The first sin wasn't all about disobedience. It was about mistrust. God told her not to eat the fruit. Eve thought she knew better. So she ate.

     God has given us specific instructions:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5

"Be still, and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on." -Matthew 6:25

"He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord." -Psalm 112:7

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9


     The list goes on. We are commanded to live boldly, to be brave, and to trust. Mistrust makes you sad. It makes you anxious. It makes you believe all the horrible lies of fear. It turns you into the caretaker of your own soul. We are pretty poor excuses of caretakers of anything, really. We try our best, but we fail. It's inevitable. We are human, after all.

     But there is One who will never fail. There is One who has called us into a glorious day of freedom and cool, fresh air. There is One who beckons to us from a place of grace and love and mercy when we are lying practically dead in a pit of our making. There is One who says to us: Trust me.

     I read this sentence somewhere, and it has always stuck with me. And when I'm feeling particularly anxious, I think on these words: I trust the next chapter because I know the Author.

     Thankful for the One. The Author. And reasons to keep on learning how to trust Him.

   

We're off tomorrow.

August 29, 2019
Day 1,065

     Thankful for the first day at school where I felt accomplished and then some. Thankful that this is my Friday. We're off tomorrow, and I can't wait for it. Patty and I have plans to have our coffee out on the deck and hang out. I'm thankful for time at home with my family. I'm thankful that my school work is completely done so I can just hang out with my family and relax. Thankful for phone calls with my mom. Thankful for phone calls with Matt. Thankful for texts from Matt. Thankful for our home. It's my haven. It's my gift from God. Thankful for time to sleep.

Time to be a mother.

August 28, 2019
Day 1,064

     Thankful for a good second day of school. Thankful for new students to love and get to know. Thankful for time to read to them. Thankful that when I get home from school, I can take care of my own children. I can talk to them. Read to them. Cook for them. Help them with homework. Give them baths. Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given. It is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Every day is a new adventure. Every day is a different thing to smile about. Every day there are new hugs to give.

     Thankful for time to be a mother.

Kisses after bath time.

August 27, 2019
Day 1, 063

Thankful for:

Taco Tuesday.

Tacos.

Kisses after bath time.

Lotion.

Legos.

A clean garage.

The way Higbee greets me in the afternoon.

Cool weather.

Snakes in trees.

Cardinals.

A good day at school.

Sweet students.

Spiders.

The fact that Adelyn will pill up a spider with her bare hands.

Grasshoppers.

Music.

Time to sleep.

Pesto and cheese.

August 26, 2019
Day 1,062

     Thankful for a good first day of school. Thankful for pasta for dinner. Thankful for things like pesto and cheese. Thankful for coffee on cool mornings. Thankful for a new dress. Thankful for new shoes. Thankful for very sweet, new students. Thankful for a good start to the year. Thankful for hugs and kisses from my babies. Thankful for phone calls with friends. Thankful for completed lesson plans. Thankful for a short week of school.

   

Sunday dinners.

August 25, 2019
Day 1,061

Thankful for:

Sunday dinners.

millet with butter and garlic and onion.

salad.

hugs and kisses from kids that I love.

the first day of school is tomorrow.

new lunchboxes.

cool weather.

Thankful list > Shit List

August 24, 2019
Day 1,060

     This day was hard. I cried many times. I got angry many times. I wanted to scream many times. I wanted to smoke. I wanted wine. I wanted to sit on the couch and watch mindless TV. I still want to do those things. BUT...

     I have Adelyn. I have Tobin. I have Matt. I have Higbee. I have Patty. I have my family. I have a new day to look forward to tomorrow. The weather was glorious today. The sky was blue today. I could go grocery shopping and buy whatever I wanted. I have a beautiful home. I have new shoes. I have books to read. I have dishes to wash. I have a couch to sit on. I have this place to write.

     The thankful list is always longer than the shit list. And tonight, I am thankful for that fact.

Egg rolls.

August 23, 2019
Day 1,059

     Thankful for the end of a long day. Thankful for a finished classroom. Thankful for pictures on the walls. For supplies in the desks. For new students to teach. Thankful for egg rolls with a friend for dinner. Thankful for friends. Thankful for a book proposal. Even if it's the wrong one, it's a proposal. Thankful for steps in the right direction. Thankful for people who are happy for me. Thankful for things to write about.

New clothes and shoes.

August 22, 2019
Day 1,058

Thankful for:

cooler weather coming soon.

a sandwich for dinner.

the way Higbee jumped up to kiss me when I came home from work.

Adelyn and Tobin waiting up for me.

Addy and Tobin telling me my new clothes are pretty.

Addy and Tobin looking at our wedding pictures for the first time and thinking I looked pretty.

Addy and Tobin.

talking with Matt about work.

laying in bed with Matt and Higbee.

time to relax.

new clothes.

new shoes.

my classroom is set up.

getting to meet my students tomorrow night.

school starts next week.

sitting with my sister and my sister in law in our school meeting today.

Short, sweet.

August 21, 2019
Day 1,057

     Today, I'm thankful for productive days at work, for fresh paper and pencils, for new makers and colored pencils, and for Patty and my mom. I'm thankful for hugs, kisses, and cuddles from my babes. I'm thankful for time to sleep. I'm thankful for short blog posts because I've been so tired at night.

I do not deserve her.

August 20, 2019
Day 1,056

     Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for the light that shines from her. Thankful for her hugs and kisses. Thankful for the way she takes care of me and our family. She loves us so much. Thankful for the day of her birth nine years ago. Thankful for those first few days with her. They were so hard because my body was so broken, but it was worth it. I would do it all over again if I had to. Thankful for her love; this day and every day. I do not deserve her.

Pens and pencils.

August 19, 2019
Day 1,055

     Thankful for a good first day back to work. Thankful for a semi-organized classroom. Thankful for a new school building. Thankful air conditioning. Thankful for lunch with a friend. Thankful for time to organize and be quiet and still. Thankful for music. Thankful for windows. Thankful for packages of pens and pencils and markers. I love school supplies. Thankful for a good first day back to work. Looking forward to another year of teaching.

Adelyn

August 18, 2019
Day 1,054

Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for the celebration of her birthday. She's 9 this year. It was a grand day. We had corned beef and cabbage, Irish soda bread, and wacky cake and ice cream for dessert. Love my lighthouse, wild one girl.

I have an angel to call my own.

August 17, 2019
Day 1,053

     Thankful for River. Today was her birthday, and it was a sweet, sweet day. I spent it at home with my family. We relaxed. I cried. I looked through River's case. I blew out her candle and put the candle in her case. I talked with Patty and Chelsea. I remembered my sweet girl's special day here on earth, and wished her the happiest of birthdays in heaven.

     Thankful that I have an angel in the heavens to call my own.

Wildflowers.

August 16, 2019
Day 1,052

Thankful for:

shopping trips with my kids.

wildflowers.

hot coffee.

Adirondack chairs.

new jobs to celebrate.

lunch out with my sister and my sister in law.

time to love on Ryker.

getting treats at the store for Adelyn's birthday.

coming home and relaxing with my babies.

two more days of summer vacation.

Ice cream kisses.

August 15, 2019
Day 1,051

Thankful for:

a good day with my babies.

indoor pools.

time to splash and play.

ice cream cones.

ice cream kisses.

holding hands.

lazy, lazy nights spent at home.

the last few days of summer.

Glorious summer.

August 14, 2019
Day 1,050

     Thankful for my last summer Wednesday with my two little loves. I took my babies to the indoor pool, and then we got an ice cream cone from an ice cream truck. We came home and I let them play some video games and I cleaned up the kitchen. It was a good day. Thankful that this was a glorious summer at home with my loves. Thankful for time to sit in bed and write. Thankful for a new perspective on things. Thankful for gifts from God.

I'll be stronger for it.

August 13, 2019
Day 1,049

Tonight, I am thankful for my mom and dad. I am thankful that they love people so much. I am thankful for family. I am thankful for time at a pool party with people that I love. Thankful for God's blessings. He knows what He's doing. And I know that I can trust Him.

For years, my thoughts and words were: What if?

But, I know that my thoughts and words should be: Even if.

Because even if ______ happens or _________happens, I know that God can work it out for good.

Trusting is hard. Trusting feels like laying on your back in a black ocean without a rescue ship in sight. You have no idea what is under you, around you, or if rescue is coming or not. Trusting means to know all of those truths, and to float there in peace anyways.

I'm going to trust tonight.

Thankful for time to float on my back in the deep, dark ocean. I'll be stronger for it.

It's all so good.

August 12, 2019
Day 1,048

     Thankful for a good day at home with my kids. For phone calls with people I love. For clean wood floors to walk on. For freshly baked blueberry scones from scratch. For cuddles and kisses from my babies. For popcorn and movies. For dinner out to eat with my babes. For late summer nights. For exciting things around the corner. For a hint of crispness in the air at night. It means that fall is coming. For words and this place to write every day. I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't for blank space to write on. Thankful for this life and my home and all my loves. It's all so good.

Tillamook.

August 11, 2019
Day 1,047

     Thankful for a lovely day at home with my family celebrating Matt's birthday. Thankful for good food. Thankful for delicious desserts. Thankful for Tillamook ice cream. Thankful for time to sit outside in comfy chairs and enjoy being together. Thankful for candles on birthday cake, and presents, and affirmations. Thankful for my entire family. They are all amazing and wonderful. It was a good day, and I'm glad I had it to enjoy.

I lay.

August 10, 2019
Day 1,046

     Today, I am thankful for new and exciting projects on the horizon. I am thankful for Adelyn's pink room. We finished it today by putting her new decorations up on the wall. It is such a sweet room. Just like her. I am thankful that Tobin asks me to lay with him at night. He's so considerate that he tells me I can say goodnight to Adelyn first, and then come lay with him. When I lay with him, he holds my hand, and puts his face very close to mine. It is in those moments that I smell and feel the baby in him. It's the closest I will get to being with him like he was when he was a baby, so I hold him close, and I lay with him too long. I always have lots of things to do at night, but when he asks me to lay, I lay. I am thankful for the chocolate chip cheesecake baking in the oven for Matt's birthday. Thankful that my kids still like to get baths. In fact, they prefer them to showers. Thankful for Higbee. He likes to stay close beside me. I love his face so much. Thankful for my husband. He likes to play with me. I love being in love with the love of my life. Thankful that tomorrow, we get to celebrate Matt's birthday with our family. We're going to have a delicious meal and play games. Thankful for this sweet life. It's so very good.

Pink paint.

August 9, 2019
Day 1,045

Thankful for:

a trip to the paint store to buy paint for Adelyn's room.

pink paint.

a trip to Moving Meadows to buy the world's most delicious cinnamon roll.

a trip to La Bee Da Loca, our local beekeeper's store.

Adelyn found the queen bee in the hive.

painting Adelyn's room with Matt.

pizza for dinner.

time to write.

new book ideas.

sending emails of my first draft out for people to read.

Summer days left to live.

August 8, 2019
Day 1,044

Today, I am thankful for:

a good trip to the dentist's office.

a fun shopping trip for Adelyn's birthday.

my husband who prays for me when I'm scared.

my sister who prays for me when I'm scared.

my beautiful home.

new lunchboxes for the kids.

hot coffee with cream.

summer days left to live.

Matt.

August 7, 2019
Day 1,043

     Today, I am thankful for my husband. He loves me in the way I need to be loved. He believes in me. He helps me. He prays for me when I'm afraid. He thinks I'm beautiful. He is the absolute best I ever could have hoped for.

     Today was his birthday. And it was a lovey day. We had a big breakfast of bacon, sausage, eggs, and bagels. We had snacks in the afternoon. We watched movies. And for dinner, we had steak, mashed potatoes, and biscuits. For cake, we had a lemon bundt cake. It was delicious.

     Thankful for my husband. He is one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given me.

Time left during summer vacation.

August 6, 2019
Day 1,042

Thankful for:

a good vet appointment for Greenie.

time with my nieces and nephew and my sister and her husband.

preparations for Matt's birthday.

a nice day spent at home.

time to go to Wegman's at night by myself.

listening to music turned all the way up.

time left during summer vacation.

This space to write things that are important.

August 5, 2019
Day 1,041

Here are the things that made me happy today:

Cuddling with Odette.

Kissing my babies.

Phone calls from my husband while he's at work.

Conversation about his birthday festivities.

The fact that what I've prepared for his birthday sounds really good to my husband.

Yellow leaves starting to drop from the trees.

The increase in spider activity. It means that fall is coming soon.

Completing the chore that I have assigned for today on my chore chart.

A clean house.

A clean kitchen.

Higbee's ears and face. I've never seen a cuter face. I'm so in love with him.

My planner is filling up for the year, but it's not a very busy one.

School is starting soon.

My husband's new position at work.

God gives me hawks right when I need to see them.

Phone calls with my dad, mom, sister, and husband.

Messaging friends on the Marco Polo app.

The quiet coolness and stillness of my home right now.

My home. I never, ever want to live in another house again. This is my forever home.

This space to write things that are important.

Grand day. Tomorrow is a new day.

August 4, 2019
Day 1,040

     Thankful for a wonderful day with my family. We had delicious food and so many laughs. We celebrated my dad's 60th birthday. I love celebrating birthdays. There is good food, and a cake with the smell of candles blown out, ice cream, and affirmations. Affirmations are when we tell the birthday person what we love about them. I love words of affirmations; given and received. Thankful for the best family. Thankful for music and dancing and cake and ice cream. Thankful for the word: dad. My dad is the greatest. I know that term is widely used. But in this case, it the truth.

     Thankful for a grand day. Thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

Stacks of books.

August 3, 2019
Day 1,039

     Thankful for these things today:

Time to clean my house.

Time to relax in a clean house.

Hearing my children laugh and play together.

Cuddling with my babies in the morning.

Cuddling with Higbee.

A beautiful home to take care of.

Two beautiful children to take care of.

Two beautiful children to cook for.

Stacks of books.

My dad's birthday party tomorrow.

Delicious food for my dad's party tomorrow.

A quiet day spent at home.

A delicious dinner of chicken, rice, and vegetables.

Phone calls from my husband.

Two more weeks before school starts.

Butterflies.

August 2, 2019
Day 1,038

     Thankful for my amazing husband. He loves me and helps me on days when I'm not feeling myself. He lets me rest and sleep. He prays for me. He picks up the slack and cleans up for me. He's so good to me. I do not deserve his love. There are no words to say how thankful I am for my husband. God knew I needed him. We live a lovely life because of how hard he works for us. I'm thankful for my great love. He still gives me butterflies.

Dad.

August 1, 2019
Day 1,037

     Today was my dad's 60th birthday! So thankful for my dad. He's an amazing person, an awesome father, and an loving Opa. All the grandchildren adore him. And so do I. Thankful for my dad. I'm thankful for the word: dad.

Lunch Boxes.

July 31, 2019
Day 1,036

     Today, Adelyn got her stitches removed from her eye surgery. She was so brave. She walks into appointments without a worry in the world. I love watching her be brave in situations where I would be falling apart. She's so strong and confident. Then we went shopping at Target so I could get a new planner. I love shopping for planners and pens and pencils and office supplies. Then, we went to the library to get a few stacks of books to read over the upcoming rainy days. Then we came home and stayed put the rest of the day. Patty and her kids came over and had dinner over here. It was fun to just hang out together. We watched America's Got Talent together.
     Tomorrow, we are going shopping for lunch boxes for the upcoming school year. Maybe a haircut for Tobin. Maybe a shampoo for Adelyn. She hasn't been able to shower since her surgery. Looking forward to another day with my loves.
     Thankful for this life. It's beautiful.

More days of summer left.

July 30, 2019
Day 1,035

     Thankful for special days with my family. We went to the Baltimore Aquarium today, and the kids loved it. It's always an adventure driving into any city, but we made it. I love seeing Tobin and Adelyn so excited about seeing sea creatures. Thankful for moments of wonder and discovery. Thankful for special days with my favorite people. Thankful for a quick bite with Steph, Mario, and Sue last night. Thankful for things to celebrate like Mario becoming a US citizen. Thankful for good days. Thankful for more days of summer left.

Breezy branches.

July 29, 2019
Day 1,034

Thankful for:

a very calm, relaxing day.

a clean home.

two kids who played happily together the entire day in their playroom.

kisses from my babies.

a very sleepy Higbee.

guacamole.

time to lay in bed.

time to organize my bathroom.

freshly cut grass.

breezy branches outside my kitchen window.

phone call with Matt's mom.

phone call with my dad, mom, and sister.

a good Monday.

Engagement Party!

July 28, 2019
Day 1,033

     Thankful for a great day with my amazing family! We had an engagement party for Shane and Cheyenne. We had Patty's homemade pheasant bread, tomatoes, mozzarella, basil, olives, and fruit as an appetizer. We had wine and sangria. I made spaghetti and meatballs and salad for dinner. It was delicious! Patty made a luscious cake for dessert. Then we gave cards to Shane and Cheyenne, and I read them something I wrote for them. After dessert, we had a champagne toast on the deck while the kids played in the yard. Then we sat outside for a long time and listened to music. It was a great day with family.
     Thankful for family! Thankful for grand days. Thankful for good food. Thankful for a wedding to look forward to. Thankful for great new things up ahead.