"That will be so fun!"

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 150

     Those were Adelyn's words today after Matt and I told her we were going to a special place called, Jumping Jimmie's. It's a large warehouse type place filled with moon bounces. We went to a birthday party there, and she loved it. Perfect for a rainy day, or a day when it's too hot to play outside. But, it just made me smile to hear those words. To see her sweet smile. To see her excited about having fun. It was a good day. Adelyn had a blast. And Tobin had lots of fun flirting with some cute girls he met there. He was all smiles.

     Thankful for fun little family days. Thankful for Adelyn and Tobin. And my husband. Any day spent with my loves is a day well spent.

Captain Hook Syndrome.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 149

     My baby. My little, sweet, baby girl, Adelyn...is going to Preschool in the Fall. How is this even possible? What an awesome step for her. And a bittersweet step for me. I'm so excited for all the new experiences she will have, but I'm sad that she won't spend her every waking moment with me. How is it possible that after only three years of life, she is ready to be in school.

     I feel like Captain Hook sometimes. The crocodile constantly chasing after me. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Time goes so fast, sometimes, that it's menacing. That's why, on days like today, when it was decided that Adelyn will attend Preschool in the Fall, I hug my girl extra long. I read lots and lots of books before bed. We talked extra long before I turned out her light. Because times like these are fleeting.

     Thankful for my beautiful girl. She means more to me than I could ever express. And she has given my life meaning and purpose. Thankful that she will be attending Preschool in the Fall, but I'm so very thankful that Fall is still months away. And for now, my girl is at home with me. And I'm so thankful I get to hang out with two beautiful babes all day long.

"How to MISS a Childhood?"

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 148

     I came across this blog post the other day, "How to MISS a Childhood." I clicked on it, not knowing what it would be about, and as I sat there reading it, on my phone, during lunch, I started to feel sick. Sick because I was guilty of so many things on the list entitled, "How to MISS a Childhood."

     Phones have become an addiction. Instead of taking cigarette breaks, we take phone breaks. Aside from the fact that cigarettes are completely detrimental to one's health, at least with the cigarette, one is still present. Engaged in conversation. Talking with some other smoker, often times a stranger, about the day. And the weather. And how badly you needed your smoke break. With phones, one simply, checks out. I know. I've done it. Many, many, many times, I'm sorry to say.

     The item on the list that struck me the most was this, "Check your phone first thing in the morning...even before you kiss, hug, or greet the people in your family." When I read this, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach. Because, when I wake up, checking my phone is literally the first thing I do. Before I say, "good morning," to my husband. Before I get my kids. Before I even get out of bed. I check my phone.

     I hate that I did that. I hate that there have been times when Matt and I go out on a date, and for some amount of time, we are both on our phones. I hate that there have been family functions where people retreat to the couch after dinner, and stay on their phone until they leave. I hate that I have been on my phone during mealtimes. I hate that I check my phone at stoplights. I hate that I have missed precious moments because of a phone.

     I am so, so, so thankful that I came across, "How to MISS a Childhood." I'm thankful that the simple, yet easily forgotten truths in that blog post, helped me put a mirror up in front of my face. I'm thankful that it's never too late to change. It's never too late to start anew. I'm thankful that my children are young, and they have their entire childhoods in front of them. I intend on making them childhoods to remember. Thankful that Adelyn and Tobin are constantly pushing me, and driving me to become better. For them, and for me. So that when it comes time for me to leave this earth, I can say with absolute certainty, I did my best.

   

If you're in need of a bit of fun, here's what you do...

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 147

     You go out for a drive. With someone like Patty. But instead of just driving, you find a group of unsuspecting teenagers. Teenagers who feel real cool pumping gas with the volume to their rap music turned all the way up. Smoking. Being cool.

     You find, "Cotton Eyed Joe," on your iPod. And turn your volume all the way up. You roll down all the windows. And then you hit play.

     You sit for a few minutes, watching their reaction. Then you speed away. You cannot not laugh. Believe me, we have done this many, many times.

     Thankful for an impromptu night of fun with Patty. Thankful for the kind of laughter that makes your face and head hurt. The kind that you cry from. It's the best kind.

Ice cream makes me smile.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 146

     I don't think there is any other substance in the world like ice cream. It's the greatest. And eating it just makes me smile. If I could have only one thing to eat for the rest of my life, it would, without a doubt, be ice cream. Apparently, my children have inherited this, "deep love of ice cream," gene of mine. And any outing that includes ice cream is a very special one, indeed.

     My parents, and Shane came to hang out with us for the day. We always have fun being together, but when Opa suggested we go to Pickle Bob's...it was just the icing on the cake. I love watching children experience ice cream. Cold. Wet. Drippy. Sweet. And Tobin knew just what to do. Had his first taste of an ice cream cone tonight, and he grabbed it like he was an expert. His eyes wide open. It was so funny to watch.

     Thankful for ice cream. Thankful for family time. Thankful for ice cream during family time. Which is quite possibly the best combination in the world.

Three Things...

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 145

     Thankful for three things in particular tonight.

1. Thankful that I can get into fights and tiffs with my family, and it doesn't matter. We get over it. No big deal. We can be super upset with each other one minute, and laughing about it the next minute. And I love that. In our family, we get things out in the open. Right away. No holding anything back.

2. Thankful that we got to see my grandparents today. And even though it was only for about an hour or so, we still had lots of laughs, and lots to talk about, and shared lots of sweet moments. Thankful to have such sweet grandparents so close by.

3. Thankful for family dinners. Completed with homemade ice cream. When it comes to family togetherness, and family dinners, and family days, can I just say without sounding too snooty...we set the bar pretty high.

     Thankful that in my family, we can be fighting one minute, and laughing the next. Thankful that my Dad's way of apologizing is to give kisses. It always has been. I love that about him. Thankful that Patty and I can get on each other's nerves, and piss each other off, and it doesn't matter. We are always, always, okay with each other. Always. I have never feared that anything can break what we have. Thankful for my grandparents. Thankful for all the sweet memories I have with them. And thankful for all the new memories we make every time I see them hold one of their great-grandchildren. Thankful for family days. Thankful that we set the bar high, and it makes me proud to say that. Thankful for all the amazing love in my life. My heart feels full and warm tonight.

A picture of warmth.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 144

     Patty and AJ had a wedding to go to tonight. So, Casey and Sophia spent the afternoon and evening with us. As you can guess with four children under the age of 4, things got a bit hectic here and there. Matt and I were very thankful that my parents came to help us.

     Tobin and Sophia were having a hard time falling asleep, so while I took care of miss Sophia, Matt took Tobin to our room to cuddle. When both babies had finally settled down, and as Matt and I were getting our dinner, we talked about this, and it made my heart feel nice and cozy and warm: Matt told me that Tobin was having a hard time calming down at first, but he just laid in bed with him, and rubbed his head. And Tobin somehow made his way right against Matt's chest, and fell asleep in the crook of Matt's arm. With his face right up against Matt.

     Instant warmth. That picture in my head is like instant warmth and comfort to me. Thankful for a memorable night with people I love. Thankful for the extra help from my parents. Thankful for Matt and Tobin cuddled in bed together. I feel like on some cold night, all I would need to do is remember that picture of them, and I would feel instantly warm.

Tobin still cuddled up in our bed. 

Listening to Oma read a story.

Warnings

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 143

     I was looking through some old journals tonight, and I came across several cards, notes, and letters from Matt. And in every single one of them was some variation of this warning, "please be careful." "Be safe." It made me smile to read those words from my husband, who was at that time, my boyfriend. It struck me because I'm always the one to hand out warnings like, "drive carefully." "Please, be careful." "Text me when you're home." And I hand them out to everyone. 

     It struck me reading those today because, it never occurred to me then, how very sweet and special those words are when they come from someone you love. I am not tooting my own horn here. My warnings come from a place of fear. I say them because I fear that if I don't say them, something bad will happen. But, when warnings like, "be careful," come from a place of love, they take on a new meaning. A deeper meaning.

     Thankful for my Matt. Thankful that reading his words to me tonight, written so very long ago, made my heart feel warm, and loved, and secure.

Tobin wearing his dinner. I was waiting on Adelyn to finish her dinner, and then it was up for an early bath time. It was that kind of day. So, I decided to let him wear his dinner until bath. Just for kicks. 

When I finished putting lotion on Tobin, I looked over my shoulder into the tub, and saw what Adelyn had been working on. Sorting by colors. I've got a little smarty pants on my hands. 

I hung my head in shame.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 142

     Eye opening day. As I sat at a little coffee shop this afternoon, fuming over some stupid fight Matt and I got into, I happened upon this heartbreaking post on BuzzFeed.

     I left after I put Tobin down for his nap. I told Matt that I needed some time to myself. I really didn't. I just wanted him to know how mad I was. I was so mad that I was leaving. Not for good, of course. Just for a few hours. As I sat there, looking through those terrible, horrifying, heartbreaking pictures, I began to feel more and more shame. Shame, because all day, every day, somewhere in this scary world, there are people who are hurting. Especially all those poor people in Oklahoma. People who lost everything. Homes, loved ones, pets, memories. Things they can never get back. And there I was, sitting in a coffee shop, upset about something that took about five minutes to work out. I realized when I was sitting there how stupid I had been. How thoughtless. How selfish. I have everything I need and more. And instead of wasting my time, fighting with my husband over petty things, I should be enjoying every second I get to spend with him. And my Adelyn. And my Tobin. And every other person I love. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. And we should live each day with that thought in mind. We should live each day, just, so very thankful.

     Tonight, I am thankful for a great many things. But, most of all, I am thankful for my loved ones. I am thankful that I have them here with me, safe and sound, and sleeping in their beds. I'm thankful that we have the walls of our home all around us. I'm thankful that we are safe. We are together. We have each other to hold, and hug, and kiss. And that's all I really need.

Adelyn did NOT want me taking her picture. She wanted, "a big, high one!" (She was talking about a push.)

Still mad. 

My sweet vampire guy. Still working on his incisors, and not too happy about it. 

How Adelyn dresses for the playground. An Easter dress, and glass slippers.