Thursday, January 31, 2013

Tobin and Leo

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 31

     Had a play date with some good friends today. While Megan and I were texting each other, setting up this play date, my phone messed up, and took me to the very beginning of our text conversation. I skimmed through our texts. There was a theme. We were both pregnant. And we were both scared.

     I had lost River just a few short months before my pregnancy with Tobin, so I was scared out of my mind. It also didn't help that I had to have an appointment every two weeks or so for the entire duration of my pregnancy. Megan had a scary pregnancy as well. And without going into detail because it isn't my pregnancy to talk about, she almost lost her sweet baby Leo.

     Sometimes, I wish I could see the future. Because seeing the future when we were pregnant with our sweet boys would have made us completely unafraid during our pregnancies. We would have been pregnant 40 weeks, had our babies, and that would be that. No fear. No worries. No wondering. No doubt.

     Also, no growth. We wouldn't have learned the lessons we did if we weren't scared out of our minds. We had to walk through those 40 weeks blind. Not knowing what the outcome would be. Sometimes we learn the most, and grow the most, when we are scared. Afraid. When you walk through the darkest, most uncertain times in your life, that is when you grow the most as a person. That is when you find out what you're really made off. Megan told me that walking through that pregnancy brought her and her husband closer together. Losing River brought Matt and I closer together. Me being pregnant with Tobin brought us closer.

     So, yeah, seeing the future seems like a good idea in the midst of a hard situation. But, if we could have seen that Tobin and Leo would be born, and they would be perfectly healthy, and okay...what would we have learned during the pregnancy. What would we have missed out on? Growing closer to our husbands. Being that much more thankful for our first babies. My Adelyn. Her Robby. And today, when Tobin and Leo were sitting together, face to face, staring at each other, it wouldn't have seemed like such a miracle. The both of them sitting there together. It wouldn't have been such a sweet moment.

     Thankful for Tobin and Leo. Thankful that they are here, and they are perfectly healthy, and we can look back on those difficult pregnancies with pride because, we made it through. And the outcome was so very, very sweet. 

Tobin and Leo

Sweet Leo

Adelyn and Robby playing with dough.

My boy.

A little fuzzy, but doesn't he look so cute in this pic? Like he's dancing, or something. :)

The sensory table filled with sand.




    

    

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I only have eyes for you...for now.

Project 365 *2 -- Day 30

     This actually happened yesterday, but I've been thinking about it all day, and it makes me happy: I went out last night to get dinner because we were busy all day, and I didn't cook. It isn't often that I can get out of the house alone, so I took the opportunity to do so, seeing as Tobin had just nursed, and was perfectly pleasant when I left. I know it may sound silly, but just getting out of the house alone, even if it is for 15 minutes can make me feel so rejuvenated. I really miss being able to hop in the car, crank up the volume, and just drive around singing at the top of my lungs. It's one of my favorite things to do. It's funny how if you drive around all day doing errands, or you're in the car sitting in traffic...it's the worst thing in the world. But, if you purposely get in the car with the intention of driving around...somehow, it's fun.

     When I was pulling back into the neighborhood, Matt called me. He was wondering where I was, and was relieved when I told him I was home. Apparently, Tobin started crying as soon as I left. And nothing Matt could do would make him stop. Wouldn't take his pacifier. Wasn't happy with toys. Wasn't happy in the swing. Wasn't happy being walked around. Or laying down. Or on his tummy. Nothing.

     I walked in, set the food down, and went and grabbed him up. Instantly, he stopped crying. I held him close to me, and talked to him, sang to him a little bit. He had been crying so hard, he was doing that thing that babies and kids do after a big crying fit where they take little short breaths one right after the other.

     As good as it was to get out of the house by myself, it was 100 times better to come home to a baby who needed me. Nothing else would do. Nothing else could help him. Only me. Right now in his life, he only has eyes for me. It is simply, an amazing feeling to be needed in that way. I'm so thankful for my sweet Tobin. And my Adelyn. Every day is Christmas with them.

My boy and his sweet smile.

Adelyn singing, "Everybody needs a hippo..." She's been singing all day. :)

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Everybody needs a hippo. Or. Silly Songs, by Addy.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 29

    There is a song from, The Lorax, that goes like this: "Everybody needs a thneed. A finer thing that all people need..." So this morning, I was changing Adelyn's diaper, and she started singing that song. Only she changed the word thneed to hippo. "Everybody needs a hippo!" I thought it was hilarious. And that is how we spent the rest of our time together today. Coming up with different things that people need. Some of my favorites from Addy were:

Everybody needs a hippo!
Everybody needs a poopy diaper!
Everybody needs a Dada!
Everybody needs a Mama!
Everybody needs a baby Tobin!
Everybody needs a Roxy!
Everybody needs a chicken!
Everybody needs a tickle!
Everybody needs a boogie!

     And my personal favorite: "Everybody needs an Addy!" Thankful I have an Addy! And a Tobin!


Adelyn and her little boyfriend, Robby!

Baby Leo!

Sweet one!


Baby Leo and Addy.

Robby







Holding hands.



How sweet is this?

Look at that smile!


My amazing, sweet angel boy!

Tobin being funny!

Sitting up like a big boy in the bath. Sorry about that pink seat, Tobin! That's what happens when you have a big sister! :)


Addy washing herself! Cool picture, right!
                                                                                                           

Monday, January 28, 2013

Unless...

Project 365 *2 -- Day 28

     Adelyn's new favorite book is, The Lorax. We read it every night. She fell in love with the movie, and now she loves the book just as much. I love that she loves it. Two reasons. Number one, Dr. Suess was a genius. There is such depth and truth in his stories disguised as wild, imaginative fun. Love that she loves his books. Number two, I love that she cares about trees. I worry sometimes about what state this world will be in when my children are adults. And when my children have children of their own. The message of, The Lorax, is a very important one.

     Tonight, after we read, I asked her if she wanted to plant a tree or some plants or flowers. I was saying, "we can go get some dirt, and plant some little plants," when she interrupted me. She said, "I want to plant a seed." Couldn't quite understand her at first, but she pressed on. She continued saying, "I want to plant a seed of a Truffula," until I understood. Made me so proud.

     "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot,
     nothing is going to get better.
     It's not."

    I always point to Addy when I read that line in the story. "Unless someone like YOU..." I'm so beyond proud and thankful that she cares. And she wants to plant a Truffula tree. Which in my opinion is one of the prettiest trees you can plant. :)

First time in the Exersaucer that he actually enjoyed!

Captured Casey boy mid-sneeze.

Adelyn being silly. Please note the Christmas dress she insisted on wearing today. And the Rapunzel dress on top of that which she also insisted on wearing.

More smiles.



Sunday, January 27, 2013

Is taking a shower after a bath excessive?

Project 365 *2 -- Day 27

     I had a rare opportunity today. Adelyn and Tobin fell asleep at the same time. It was a miracle. They both napped at nap time. Usually, Adelyn just has a ball in her room, playing with babies, and animals until we throw in the towel and go get her. I stood in the hallway for a moment between Adelyn sleeping in her room, and Tobin sleeping in mine, and I was actually confused. I kept thinking...use this time wisely! Go clean the kitchen. Clean something. Do laundry. Make dinner. But, the longer I stood there, the more it was apparent to me what I should do.

     I got my Kindle Fire, propped it open on the sink in my bathroom, put on a show, lit some candles, and took a long, hot bath. It was so luxurious. To bathe without interruption. To have time to myself without hearing Tobin cry for me. It was very much needed. I was in there about 30 minutes or so. When I got out, I checked on the kids. They were both still sleeping. Again, I stood in the hallway. Do something, I told myself. Organize that art area in the kitchen for Addy. Clean the bathrooms. Vacuum. Put away that basket of folded laundry. But again...the more I thought about the things I should be doing...the more I desperately wanted to put them off. And then I had a dilemma. I had already spent about 30 minutes in the bath. So, what could I do then? Do my hair? Paint my nails? No. None of it appealed to me. I kept asking myself, "is taking a shower after a bath excessive?"

     The long answer: Seemingly, at first, maybe. But, consider the life of a stay at home Mom for a minute. I literally have not ONE second to myself. Even when I'm sleeping, my newborn sleeps right next to me. I am constantly giving. Constantly loving, hugging, kissing, cuddling, cooking, cleaning, changing clothes, washing clothes, changing diapers, teaching, reading, playing, soothing, nursing, feeding, correcting, organizing, planning, thinking, singing, entertaining, grooming, bathing...the list goes on and on. So, today this big block of time presented itself to me, and I could not say no.

     The short answer: No. Taking a long, hot shower after I'd just taken a long, hot bath is not excessive. In fact, in my opinion, it was well deserved. I was immensely grateful for time to myself today. Funny how something so simple like taking a bath, and a shower, and shaving your legs can make you feel like a real woman again.

Sweet hands.

Addy reading the letters on poor Tobin's very girlish bib. He drools so much, I can't keep up. Thankfully, Patty just gave me a huge bag of boy bibs. Yay for boy bibs for Tobin!




Adelyn loves to put on "lip stick."




A smile for his big sister.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Snow Day

Project 365 *2 -- Day 26

    It snowed! Well, more like...it dusted! But snow is snow, right? Matt and I think so. We bundled the kids up, and went out in the snow this morning before it melted. Matt and I love the snow. Our families love the snow. We are snow people. We are the kind of people that get pissed off at the weathermen who dislike it. How can you hate snow? There is so much fun to be had in it.

     It probably snowed less than an inch around here. That didn't stop us. We went out. In our snow gear. With our sled. And we went sledding. Well, I watched, and Tobin slept. But, we were out there. We found little hills here and there with just enough snow on it for the sled to work. Adelyn had such fun. She would slide to the bottom of a hill, get up, and say, "again!"

     When we came in, we had hot chocolate. Which is a huge treat for Addy. She made a big mess, but she loved it. And it was special. So, that's all that matters. After our hot chocolate, we watched, The Lorax, and cuddled on the couch. 

     It was a fun day. I always loved snow days as a child. As an adult though...they kind of lost their luster. As an adult, a snow day meant a hard commute, and crazy lines at the grocery store. But now, as a parent, snow days are once again what they should be. A day for playing in the snow, and hot chocolate, and movies, and cuddling.

     Thankful for this snow day.

Addy sledding in the "snow."

Sweet Tobin. Sleeping away.

Pretty trees.


My blue-eyed boy.

Admiring the mug. It has cute mice on it.

Too. Much. Hot. Chocolate.

Hot chocolate finger paint.


Playing in a fort we made.


Roxy liked the fort.



"Get me outta here."

"Please?"

Fun hair.