A beautiful day in the neighborhood!

Project 365 * 4
Day 455

Gorgeous tree!

Tobin pitching a fit because he couldn't go swim with the geese. 

Adelyn singing. 

"Part of your world!"

     Thankful for a beautiful day to spend outside playing, and getting dirty, and breathing in fresh air. Thankful for blue sky. Thankful for a very fine day with the people I love.

Dear Molly,

Project 365 * 4
Day 438

Dear Molly,

     There aren't words sad enough to tell you how sad I am for you. There isn't anything else to say but, I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry for your great loss. I've cried often thinking about you and your husband, and this torturous road you must travel.

     Molly...you need to cry. You need to talk. You need to write. You need to sing. Go outside and sit with the trees. Lean on them. Watch them. They're quiet, but they have stories to tell of courage in the face of calamity. Watch the sunset. Watch the sunrise. Watch the birds. Go to a river. Go to the beach. And cry some more. And some more after that. Cry all day if you need to. Watch funny shows. Know that it's okay to laugh again. It's okay to smile. It's okay to have a nice day. It doesn't mean that you've forgotten them. Cling to your husband. Lean on him. Look to him for comfort and love. This journey will make your marriage stronger than you ever thought possible. The way you loved him on your wedding day will be nothing compared to the way you love him now. Take time for yourself. Go out for a coffee. Get your hair done. Meet some girls for dinner. It doesn't mean you've moved on. Remember your sons. Be so proud of them. Talk about them. Never stop talking about them. Be thankful for them. Be thankful you were chosen to be their mother. You might think you're weak, but you're not. It takes a very strong woman to be the mother of angels. Cry often for them. Tell them you miss them. Talk to them. Talk about them. Learn from them. They have so much to teach you still. Look for miracles. Look for the light. Look for the good. Some days, it's hard to find, but it's always there.

     I've been to where you are now. The place where the world seems dark. Bleak. Black. When I was there it seemed I was drowning in a stormy ocean of sadness. I felt like I might be swallowed by the black waves. And then, in the dark, I saw it. Faint at first. Just a ray of light. A glimmer of hope. Molly, I swam with all my might to keep that light in sight. I swam with all my might to reach that lighthouse and claw my way onto dry land. You must find your lighthouse. Maybe you're still swimming. Maybe you feel yourself being swallowed by waves. Swim, Molly. Look for light. It's there. Look for miracles. They're there.

     You're in a dark place now, yes, but know this...you are so loved. And all that love is waiting for you. The only thing you have to do is make the decision: I will not drown. I will swim. I will find my lighthouse. And I will give it everything I've got to make it there. There are so many people rooting for you, Molly. So many people who love you. And maybe, in the midst of disaster, that's all one really needs to know. You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.

     Swim.

Over the river and through the woods.

Project 365 * 4
Day 454

     With the weather today, we really did have to travel over rivers, and through the woods to see my Grandmother. And Grandfather. It was an awesome visit! I love spending time with the people I love. It's always a little hectic with our four rambunctious kids running laps around their house, but my grandparents are so sweet, and so loving, they never mind. In fact, they welcome it.

52 People I Love

     I have the best grandma. I've always been proud that I have a grandma who loves to dance, and go sledding, and do things that most grandmas won't even come close to doing. I love how she is always thinking about her kids, and her grandchildren. She loves to give gifts. I don't think there has been one time when I've visited my Gamie, or had her visit me when she hasn't brought something for me or for the kids. She loves to laugh. She loves to play games. She loves animals. She loves to have fun. Her thirst for fun, laughter, happiness, and joy is an inspiration to me. And it always has been. If I had to describe her using only one word, it would be this: laughter. What a wonderful way to live life. I'm so thankful for all the sweet memories I have growing up as her granddaughter. I'm so thankful my grandparents live so close by now, because my children can grow up knowing her, and learning from her, and being loved by her. She's truly a beautiful person on the inside and out. And I'm blessed to call her my grandma.

52 Kind Things

     This week, I shoveled snow for two of my neighbors. I also shoveled a big stretch of sidewalk in my neighborhood. It wasn't that much, maybe two or three inches, but it still had to be shoveled. It was small, but small things make a difference. Even if it is the smallest difference, it's still a difference. And even though everyone else in Northern Virginia hates this winter and all the snow, I'm still loving it. I literally love it. And the snow gave me the opportunity to do something kind.

     Thankful for a great day with family. Thankful for my grandma. Thankful for all the kind and thoughtful things she does. She's an amazing woman, and I'm blessed to call her mine. Thankful for the snow this week. Thankful for the opportunity to do something kind for others. Thankful it's bedtime. It's been busy. But it's been good.

What an awesome rainy Saturday.

Project 365 * 4
Day 453

     This day was awesome. "The perfect day," in Addy's words. We spent the day playing, watching movies, tickling. Lots of tickling. Matt thinks it's especially funny to hold me down and tickle me until I can't breathe. Naturally, the kids thought it was hilarious as well. Only Roxy was concerned for me. She barked and went crazy whenever Matt would hold me down. Good old Roxy. Standing up for her mama. Matt and Adelyn went on an ice cream date. She picked out a beautiful outfit. A dress, a pink sweater buttoned all the way to the top, blue pants underneath, pink cowboy boots, and a purse filled with lots of random treasures. Some pineapple juice, coasters, puzzle pieces, game pieces, and a little music maker that she pretends is a phone. She wanted to wear lipstick for her date, so I let her use some lip balm. She was so proud when she went downstairs to show Matt her outfit, purse, and make-up. Seeing her pose for her date with Matt made me want to cry. It was seriously, the sweetest thing ever.

     Thankful for awesome, sweet days with my loves. Thankful for rainy, lazy Saturdays. Thankful for lots of cuddles, hugs, and kisses today. Thankful for lots of tickling, even though it drove me crazy. Thankful for lots of big smiles, and lots of laughter. It was a day that fed my soul. This ordinary, lazy day in which nothing particularly special was going on. But when I think back on it now, the most special things were going on.

Date night with my baby.

Project 365 * 4
Day 452

     Matt was out of town for a whole week. We were all missing him like crazy. And because Adelyn was hogging him all day, Matt and I went on a date tonight. It was awesome. I love date nights with my man. On the way home, we were chatting about how we used to go on dates all the time. Like at least a couple times a week. But we never considered them dates. It was just...getting lunch. Just going to the store. Just running errands. Now, if I get to go to the gas station with Matt, it's like a little mini date.

     So thankful for time with my sweet love. Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed thinking about how in all the world, of all the people, Matt and I love each other. We belong to each other. We're crazy about each other. And honestly, it just keeps getting better and better. So thankful to be in love with such an amazing man.

Love seeing Addy's small arm next to Matt's. 

Casey holding Patty's hand while she read to him. 

Meow.

Project 365 * 4
Day 451

     The kids and I have this game we like to play. It's called, Kitty-Cat. I have no earthly idea how it started. We don't have a cat. And we never will. I'm highly allergic. No one we know has a cat. But somehow, this game started, and it's really fun and hilarious. And it's all we play these days. It goes something like this:

Me: Meow. (While pretending to scratch and paw Addy's belly.)
Addy: Oh, Kitty-Cat!!! Are you hungry?
Tobin: (Pretends to meow and gives me some sloppy kisses.)
Addy: I'll make you some food, Kitty-Cat. Oh, you're not feeling well, Kitty-Cat? Let me get you into bed.
Me: Meow. (I pretend to sleep.) (And sometimes I'm so tired, I might have, on one occasion or two, actually dozed off while pretending to sleep.)
Tobin: (Bangs me on the head with his pacifier, and makes a gurgled meow sound. More sloppy kisses and hugs)
Addy: Oh, Kitty-Cat! You sweet little angel. (Covers me with a blanket.) There, now. Is that all better, baby?

     Thankful for games like Kitty-Cat. Thankful for time to spend with my babes. These days will be gone before I know it. And when that happens, my heart will ache.

Tobin was not happy about Addy using his books. 

Adelyn reading to Tobin.