Prayer and medicine.

April 30, 2021

Day 1,637

Thankful for: 

medicine to help Tobin feel better. 

knowing that Tobin is at home with Matt. 

prayer. 

essential oils. 

people who pray for Tobin. 

people who pray for me. 

cereal for dinner. 

time to be home. 

time to sleep. 

a cleaned home. 

Adelyn made duck and flower decorations and a banner for Patty's party. 

yummy food for Patty's party. 

the feeling of being home for a whole weekend. 

People I do not deserve.

April 29, 2021

Day 1,636

     Today was Patty's birthday. It started off nicely with breakfast from Chick-fil-a for Patty in the car before school. It's our tradition. Patty and I always get Chick-fil-a for breakfast on our birthdays. Then we went to Susan's house after school to celebrate Patty with a nice dinner. It was lovely. Any time is a good time to celebrate Patty. She's an amazing person. I'm so thankful to know. To call her my sister is an honor. I don't deserve the gift of Patty. 

     Today was a day for taking care of Tobin. Tobin was struggling and laboring to breathe. We had to put him on an oral steroid and he's staying home from school again tomorrow. Towards the end of the night, I was feeling very panicked because he was struggling so badly to breathe. I was sitting with him while he was doing his nebulizer, and he used what little energy he had left to tell me how much he loved me: "Mom, I love you. You're the best mom in the world. I'd be lost without you. You're a gift to me." I do not deserve him. 

     Today was a day for forgiveness. I was reading an article called, "Things you should never to your kids." My heart sunk as I was reading it. I had said so, so many of the things to Adelyn. So, while she was lying in bed with me tonight, I asked for forgiveness. I named the things I had said to her, and I told her that it wasn't right of me to say those things. I told her how beautiful and wonderful she was and told her how sorry I was for saying those hurtful things to her. Her response: "You're the best mom in the world. I understand. You were just stressed out. You're so kind and amazing and beautiful." I do not deserve her. 

     Today was a day for calling my mama. When times get tough...what do you do? You call your mom. I asked her to pray. I asked her to put Tobin on the prayer chain. She prayed, and Tobin is doing better. I went in to give him more albuterol at 12:30 am, and he was all sweaty. The little fever that had started broke. He was breathing so much more peacefully and not coughing at all. My mom is always there for me whenever I need her. I do not deserve her. 

     Today was a day for friends. I called my friend Heidi on the way to the pharmacy to pick up medication for Tobin. She prayed for me. Hearing the words of her prayer and the way that she prayed it calmed me. She's a wise friend who never stops amazing me with her calm spirit, her laughter, and words of wisdom. I feel blessed and lucky just to sit and have lunch with her, and I get to call her: friend. I do not deserve her. 

     Today was a day for reassurance. Whenever we get a new prescription, I like to run it by Stephanie first to have peace of mind that we got the proper dose, that it's safe, etc. I sent Steph a picture and asked questions. Matt called and got her advice and opinion. And even though I know Steph was probably trying to go to sleep, she answered my questions. She assured me that it was the perfect dose for him and gave me the confidence I needed. I do not deserve her. 

     Today was a day for love. Matt and I have been a bit distant because of the busy week. Here's how I know he loves me: 

1. He kisses me when he sees me. 

2. He smiles at me when he sees me. 

3. He doesn't get mad when I'm freaking out about things. He calmly tries to help me. 

4. He does the dishes for me. 

5. He watches sports downstairs so I can watch Everybody Loves Raymond in bed. Matt always lets me have the remote even when he's in bed. That's the definition of love: giving your partner complete control of the remote all the time. I do not deserve him. 

     God is good. He blessed me with people that I do not deserve. I am so thankful. 

My lavender is starting to grow.

April 28, 2021

Day 1,635

Today, I am thankful for these things: 

1. My comfortable car and the cold, cold air conditioning. 

2. Frogs and cicadas singing to each other in the evenings in the woods. 

3. The sound of a hawk in the woods. 

4. The fullness and the very green of the woods right now. 

5. The feeling of sitting still and quiet in my bed. 

6. A quick cat nap on the couch after dinner. 

7. My sister's birthday is tomorrow. 

8. Kids making birthday cards. 

9. Matt brought home pizza for dinner. 

10. Matt did the dishes today. 

11. Matt hugged me today. 

12. Tobin was happy to see me when I came home. 

13. Higbee was happy to see me when I came home. 

14. A simple dinner of toast, tomato, and feta cheese. 

15. Time to crochet. 

16. Plans to get up early to get my sister a Chick-fil-a breakfast meal for her birthday tomorrow. 

17. Time to water the plants on the deck. 

18. My lavender is starting to grow. 

19. The fullness and the very green of the forest right now. 

20. The sound of a hawk in the forest. 

21. Time to watch Everybody Loves Raymond. 

22. Music. I like songs that you can really sing along with. Out loud. At the top of your lungs. While driving in the car. 

23. My students having fun this week. They are all asking me to play with them, and I'm happy to sit with them and and play board games during this week of IOWA testing. 

Familiar and comforting.

April 27, 2021

Day 1,634

     This has been a day. Even so, I am thankful. There is always way more to be thankful about than there is to be upset about. So tonight, I am thankful for: 

1. The feeling of coming home after a long day. 

2. I have food to cook my family. 

3. I have the sweetest family. They love me even when I'm unlovable. 

4. Adelyn. She's fiesty and sweet at the same time. A good combination, I think. I'm thankful for her. She makes me smile. 

5. Hugs from Tobin. 

6. Hugs from Matt. 

7. Dog hugs and kisses from Higbee. 

8. Our crunchy gravel driveway. 

9. Tomorrow is Wednesday. The week will be halfway over tomorrow. 

10. I have new yarn for a new project that I have to finish in a month. I love a challenge. 

11. Today was a good day at school. It's testing week, so after testing, I am able to just let my kids play. It's awesome to play with them and watch them have fun and talk and relax. 

12. Essential oils. They help me when I need to calm down and relax. 

13. Everybody Loves Raymond. It's familiar and comforting. I like things are familiar. 

     Thankful for good things and nice things and lovely things on this hard day. Thankful for things to be thankful for. Thankful for this exercise in thankfulness. It changes me. 

Spaghetti Dinner

April 26, 2021

Day 1,633

     Today was a Monday. It felt tired and sloppy and bulky and awkward. Strange things happened. But here's how it ended: 

1. I got some new yarn to make a birthday present for my friend. I'm excited to start making the blanket!

2. We went to Wegman's to get a few things. I'm always happy to buy my children a pretty frosted cookie from Wegman's. They are always so excited to pick one out. 

3. We had dinner with Steph, Mario, and Matt's mom at their house. Mom made spaghetti and meatballs and garlic bread. It was delicious! We also had a lovely dessert. I'm very thankful for Matt's mama. She's an amazing woman, and I'm glad to call her: mom. I'm thankful for Steph and Mario. 

4. It was cool outside today. 

5. I got to lay in bed with Tobin for a few minutes and say prayers and watch him while he rested. He was very tired today. 

6. I got ice cream for my students to have tomorrow. 

7. There is a tiny baby bunny that nibbles on grass and clover in our yard every night. It's very small and a brownish gray. I think he lives under our deck. It makes me happy to see him nibbling in the yard every evening. 

8. A clean kitchen. 

9. I get to have lunch with my friend tomorrow. 

10. Everybody Loves Raymond. I know I mention this almost every night, but I love it. It makes me feel like I'm visiting an old friend whenever I put it on. It keeps me company while I work in the kitchen. 

Good Sunday.

April 25, 2021

Day 1,632

     It was a good Sunday. Matt and I visited our friends, Jen and Jason. Their baby girl just turned one, and she's a little angel. It was fun to see a beautiful blue eyed baby. It was good to see our friends. Talking with friends over coffee on Sundays is a good thing. 

     Matt and I got lunch at Bozzelli's Deli. That's an old favorite of ours. It was delicious as always. Sitting with Matt for a lunch at Bozzelli's was a special treat. I love to be with him. 

      We sat with Patty for a bit while the kids played outside. Matt and I played one of our favorite games with Odette: I found a baby! First, I pick up Odette and yell to Matt: "Hey, I found a baby! We've been needing a baby! Want to bring her home?" Then Matt says: "Okay, yeah...let's go home. Let's bring our new baby!" Then Odette tries to run away. It's great fun. 

     We visited Steph, Mario, and Matt's mom. We talked a long time. We had tacos. We laughed. We looked at books and art and grown up things like big mirrors and paint colors. 

     I went grocery shopping at Wegman's before we came home. I'm thankful I can buy all the delicious things I need. 

     Thankful for a lovely Sunday. 

Odette's Fourth Birthday

April 24, 2021

Day 1,631

     Thankful for a little girl named, Odette. Thankful for her sweet smile and her amazing personality. Thankful for a lovely meal. For cake and ice cream. For time with family. Thankful for a lovely Saturday. Thankful for the extra time I got to spend with my grandmother this morning. Thankful for the smiles, the laughs, and the happiness of today.

The feeling of coming home on a Friday

April 23, 2021

Day 1,630

Tonight, I'm thankful for: 

soup and sandwiches for dinner

Target shopping trips for birthday presents

a long phone conversation with my grandma

sitting with Matt for a long time on the sofa

talking with Matt

the feeling of coming home on a Friday and knowing I have two whole days off ahead of me

Odette's birthday party on Saturday

a big bowl of ice cream

What About Bob?

a long phone conversation with Patty

white cheddar cheeze-its

multiple cups of hot tea

blister peanuts

laughter

a good Friday

things to be thankful for

Sweet and simple things about my day.

April 22, 2021

Day 1,629

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all." 

-Laura Ingalls Wilder

     Laura knew what she was talking about. I've read her books over and over and over again. When I was a child, I would sometimes get bored with her descriptions of flowers blooming, birds chirping, grass blowing in the wind, and creeks babbling. But now, as an adult, I read those descriptions slowly. And sometimes, I read them several times before I move past them. Here's why: it's sweet and simple. 

Here are the sweet and simple things about my day today: 

1. I like to go into my children's rooms in the morning and watch them sleeping peacefully before I wake them up for the day. Even though I shouldn't do things to make them more comfortable in bed in the morning, I tuck them in tight. I play with their hair. I gently stroke their cheeks. I look at them for a mintue. Then, I wake them. And when they wake up, they always ask for 5 more minutes. I always say yes. Even if we're running late. I let them sleep just a few minutes longer before I wake them for good. 

2. Dogwood trees blooming. Dogwood tree flowers are perfect.

3. Cold, cold, cold air. I'm in love with cold air. It makes me feel alive. 

4. My husband loves me, and hugs me, and kisses me, and takes care of me. My husband is an amazing father to our children. He loves them, and hugs them, and kisses them, and takes care of them. There is so much love in our home because of him. 

5. Our home smells of lemon and garlic and white wine cooked together. We have good things to eat. We have enough food to fill our bellies and more. I'm thankful for that. 

6. Matt and I like to walk Higbee together. I love walking with Matt. 

7. There was a tiny, little bunny nibbling clover in our backyard. 

8. There were deer running through our yard. 

9. There was the sound of my children's laughter. And their voices. And their noises. 

10. Hugs from Adelyn and Tobin. I love to cuddle them. 

11. I'm thankful for the feeling you get when it's almost the weekend. I was getting that feeling today, and I'm sure it will be even stronger tomorrow. 

I love looking at his face.

April 21, 2021

Day 1,628

     Thankful for the end of this long day. It was a good day, but it was long. Here are the best things about this Wednesday: 

1. Reading to my kids at night. We're reading Farmer Boy. I could read the Little House books over and over again. I'm excited to be reading them for the first time to Tobin. 

2. Cuddling in bed with Tobin until he fell asleep. He was tired, but he'll stay up if I let him. If I go in and snuggle with him, he falls right to sleep. He gets to bed early, and I get to be cozy with my boy. What could be better? After he fell asleep, I laid there and looked at his face for a good ten minutes. Tobin is such a sweet, cute, beautiful human being. I love looking at his face. 

3. My home smells of garlic and butter and parmesan. It's a lovely smell. I love the smell of garlic cooking in a whole mess of good butter. 

4. Higbee was cuddling with Tobin while he did his nebulizer treatment tonight. Higbee was basically laying on top of him. It was very sweet. 

5. We had green beans for dinner tonight. That makes Higbee so happy because he absolutely loves green beans. 

6. Matt greeted me in the garage with his hands on his hips and a question, "What took you so long?" I love it when he misses me a lot. 

7. Matt helped me clean up the kitchen.

8. Matt helped Tobin with his homework while I made lunches. 

9. Adelyn had to interview Matt for a history homework assignment. I loved listening to his answers. 

10. Adelyn wanted to do her homework in bed in my room. She said she just wanted to be near me. She's such a beautiful person. She's so sassy, but she's strong. She won't take any crap from anyone when she grows up. I'm glad of that. 

11. Hot tea and tiny bowl of blister peanuts. 

12. A delicious new dinner I tried tonight. 

13. The neighbor brought us carrot cake. It's delicious. 

14. Tomorrow is Thursday and the next day is Friday. 

15. The feeling of being home with all the great loves of my life. 

16. The feeling of knowing Matt and Higbee are at home together while I'm at work. I love to think of them watching TV on the couch together cuddled up with blankets. 

17. Today was cold, and it made me so happy. I want more cold days. 

18. Flowers on my deck. And herbs, too. 

19. A lovely Wednesday. 

20. This blog and things to be thankful for. 

A parakeet that keeps to himself.

April 20, 2021

Day 1,627

     Thankful for: 

1. Lunch with my friend today. 

2. The wind blowing cherry blossom petals. 

3. Coming home to the best husband and son and dog who were all home today together. 

4. Matt cut the grass today, and our yard looks beautiful. 

5. A good dinner. Curly leaf parsley, parmesan, tomato, butter, and garlic chicken over rice. 

6. Matt helps me when I'm feeling anxious. 

7. Matt helps me in the kitchen. 

8. Time to read to my children at night. 

9. The feeling of being at home. 

10. Everybody Loves Raymond; it's comforting. I'm not sure why, but the sound of this show makes me feel better. 

11. Playing "Would you Rather" at dinner. Tobin comes up with the best ones. Tonight he came up with: "Would you rather be a caveman, a bear that's all alone, or a parakeet that keeps to himself?" 

12. Tobin is feeling better from his two days of rest. 

13. A cookie and ice cream for dessert. 

14. Lunches all made and prepped for tomorrow. 

15. Starting new healthy routines tomorrow. 

16. My flowers on the deck. I like to water them in the morning. 

17. Walking Higbee with Matt. Matt's my favorite. 

18. Tomorrow is Wednesday; that's halfway through the week. 

19. Sweet students. I love my job. It feels good to just focus on teaching now that I'm done with two huge projects at school. 

20. Adelyn and Tobin. They make each day happy and full. 

21. For twenty different things to be thankful for. 

This was a very good Monday.

April 19, 2021

Day 1,626

     This was a very good Monday. Matt stayed home with Tobin because Tobin is having a hard time with allergies right now. I love driving away knowing that all my boys are safe and sound at home. I love thinking about them all cuddled up here watching movies all day. It's a cozy thought. I finished two major projects at school. I am so happy and relieved to be done with them. It's a huge weight off my shoulders. Now, I just get to be a teacher until the end of the school year. Adelyn and I went grocery shopping after school. I love going grocery shopping. I love buying things like curly leaf parsley and sheep's milk feta cheese. We had tacos for dinner. I love tacos. I like mine with all the toppings: tomato, red onion, cheese, black olives, cilantro, sour cream, and gaucomole. Matt helped me clean up the kitchen. Then he waited for me while I made all the lunches and prepped for tomorrow morning. 

     Thankful for good Mondays. For sick days. For the feeling of being done with hard projects. I am thankful for tacos for dinner. I am thankful for the smiles and kisses and hugs that my husband gives me when I come home. I love it when he comes out to meet me when I come home. Before we get anything out of the car, we kiss and hug. I love that about us. Thankful for my family and this lovely life. It is so, so good.

Cookies. Pajamas. TV.

April 18, 2021

Day 1,625

     Today was such a lazy, lovely day. Our entire family needed it. Adelyn and Tobin played video games all day. Tobin needed to take it easy today because he's having a hard time with allergies. I cleaned up a bit. I watched What About Bob? and made some cookies. Matt and I cuddled on the couch and watched Seinfeld. We ate cookies. We didn't leave the house all day long. I came up with a menu for the week and a shopping list based on that menu. I didn't brush my hair or change out of my pajamas. I absolutely adore days when I stay in my pajamas all day and don't leave the house. The only thing that could have made this day better was rain. 

     Today is Odette's 4th birthday! I'm excited to celebrate with her next weekend! April is now our biggest birthday month. 

     Thankful for the best lazy Sunday I've had in a long time. Thankful for cookies. Thankful for pajamas all day long. Thankful for Odette. I can't wait to celebrate that little angel. 

Oliver's First Birthday!!!

April 17, 2021

Day 1,624

     Thankful for a precious little boy named Oliver Shane Otterstedt. Thankful for first birthday parties. Thankful for a delicious meal and a delicious dessert. Thankful for the best family. Thankful for the best cake smash! Thankful for a wonderful day spent celebrating sweet Oliver boy.