43. Choosing...

Day 43: Choosing...

     Tomorrow is a big day for me, and my family. There will be more big days. But right now, tomorrow seems like the biggest day ever. A huge hurdle I have to clear. I am proud of myself because in the past, the thought of tomorrow would make today almost non-existent. I would have been concentrating so much on the hurdle of tomorrow that I would miss the sweetness and joys of today.

     Today was a hard day. I'm nervous. And Adelyn was a needy baby today. She was actually, in fact, a wee bit naughty. But even in her naughtiness...she still overwhelms me with joy. And peace. Just holding her, and smelling her hair is like drinking 20 cups of Calm Tea.

     I had a choice today. I had to choose to either have faith or to give in to fear and doubt. Either choice is a hard path to follow. Choosing to let fear and doubt rule my life causes me immense discomfort. It causes me to miss precious minutes and hours I can never get back. Choosing to have faith is equally as hard, but in a different way. For me, faith is like this: I am alone in a black ocean. I have no idea what will happen. I have no idea what is beneath me. What lies ahead of me. What lurks in the dark, murky waters. I am floating on my back with my arms wide open. And there is nothing for me to do, but just float there. Just wait there. And trust.

     As I float on my back in the water tonight, I am saying over and over again...I believe. I trust you. I have faith. It's all I can do. I'm thankful to be in the water. Floating in the water has made me the woman I am today. Floating in the darkness for months has allowed me to finally see a ray of light.

    

42. Fantastic Regular Days

Day 42: Fantastic Regular Days

     It's Wednesday. Just an ordinary Wednesday. But, I spend my Wednesdays, and all my days with Adelyn. And Matt when he's off. And my sister and Casey usually. And I've found that I live a fantastic version of regular life.

     Today's version included a play date with good friends. A special Chick-Fil-A lunch. Nap. Fun at the pool with Patty and Casey. Tacos for dinner. Ice cream.

     Adelyn loves to play with her Dada in the pool. She wants nothing to do with me when we're all in the water. And I don't mind because I get to sit back and watch them together. What a gift. The two of them. Playing together. I love to hear Addy giggle and laugh with him.  I love to watch her plant kisses all over him just because she's so happy to be at the pool with him. I love to watch Casey console Addy when she's screaming because it's break. "It okay, Addy. It okay!" He is so so sweet with her. I love to hear Addy putting sentences together. Growing up so fast. Sentences like, "Tante, moi! Tante, moi! Pees!" (Translation: Aunt Patty, more ice cream, please!) I especially love the hugs and kisses and cuddles I get from my girl.

     I am so blessed. I have fantastic regular days every day.

41. I get to hold the remote.

Day 41: I get to hold the remote.

    I have the best husband. He lets me hold the remote. Every night. Night after night. He watches Seinfeld, and The Office over and over again with me. He even watches Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman with me.

     I get to hold the remote. I used to think it was because Matt truly enjoys watching the same shows over and over again like I do. But, now I just know it's because he loves me so much.

     Thankful that I have Matt. He's the best. Even though he was a little snippy with me last night. :)

40. Make Up Sweets

Day 40: Make Up Sweets

     My sister and I used to get into the worst fights as girls. I would shove her into closets. She once whipped me with an electrical cord...we don't fight like that anymore. Now, it's almost weird and awkward when we fight. Maybe because we can't unleash the fury. I mean, we can't exactly be whipping each other with electrical cords anymore. So now, we just have annoying fights. Stupid fights. That escalate into you said this, and you did this, I can't believe you... Like tonight, we had a fight over which road to take to Target.

     But one thing I love about us, we don't let things fester. We get it all out there. Sometimes, we cry. Sometimes, we yell. And then...it's over. We forget about it. And we move on. And we like to commemorate the end of a fight with something sweet, usually. Tonight, it was Sweet Frog.

     Thankful for a sister who loves me. Even though I used to push her into closets. 

39. First Pool Trip of the Summer.

Day 39. First Pool Trip of the Summer.

     Had a lovely bbq with the family today. Love spending time with my family. And they love me, even when I am grumpy and moody. (Thanks for putting up with me, Mom and Patty. I know not everyone would.) After dinner, we went to the pool. I love the first pool trip of the season. It's like the first snow of the season. Addy was filled with wonder and pure joy!

     Casey likes to jump. Over and over. He gets out. He jumps in. He swims back to the wall. He gets out. He jumps in. He has always loved the water. Addy likes to be spun around in the water. She loves the water as well. And both she and Casey are literally nothing but smiles the entire time we are there. That is until the guard blows the whistle.

     I loved watching Addy and Casey play with my Dad in the pool. Reminds me of my childhood. It is always a special occasion when my Dad swims. Not because it isn't that often, just because he's so much fun in the pool. Feel the same way about Matt. Love to hang onto him as he swims us girls around.

     Good day. Fun day. Thankful for my family.

38. Fresh Fruit in the Summer

38. Fresh Fruit in the Summer

     I love fruit. Especially in the summer. Fresh strawberries, peaches, white peaches, nectarines. I remember picking blackberries and raspberries at my Grandparents house in MD. We would pick them straight off the bush and eat them right there. They were so sweet and warmed by the sun. They melted in your mouth.

     It seems that Addy has taken after me in my love of tasty summer fruit. She refused to eat anything else for dinner except strawberries, blackberries, pineapple, watermelon, and cherry tomatoes.

     She did however eat all her dessert. Vanilla Raspbery ice cream from Trader Joe's. I've taught her well.

37. Day with Patty and my Mama

Day 37. Day with Patty and my Mama

     Awesome day with my sister and my Mama! We didn't do anything spectacular. We just spent time together. Had lunch. Got pedicures. Took a walk or two. But, it was really a lovely day.

     I personally feel that needing to do something spectacular with loved ones in order to spend time together is a sign that something is missing. I think it's the ordinary days that mean the most. Special days, special occasions, spectacular outings come and go. They're fun. But it's the ordinary days. The regular outings. Even the silence you spend in each others company that creates memories that last forever.

     Blessed to have my Mama, and my sister. My first friends. My best friends.

36. Addy's Treasures

Day 36. Addy's Treasures

     Adelyn has been carrying around her "purse" all day. Her "purse" is actually an Easter basket with a monkey on it that she somehow finagled from her friend, Robby. We were playing at his house one day, and when it was time to leave, she figured the basket should come with her. Good thing Robby and his Mama are so nice. They let Addy keep the basket as Robby really didn't like it much anymore.

     Addy always has to carry treasures with her. Wherever she goes. Her baby is of course always one of the treasures. But every day, she finds something to carry around in addition to her baby. She does not forget about her selected daily treasures...ever. Not after lunch. Not after watching a show. Not even after waking up from nap. She names them one at a time, and if I fail to hand them to her or she can't find them, she lets me know.

     Today's treasures included her baby, a tiny white spoon for feeding the baby, a red teaspoon, a firefighter that Casey left here one day, 3 pacifiers, and one of my hair bands. She wears them as bracelets. Those were the treasures she carried around in her monkey Easter basket/purse. The items that could not fit in her monkey Easter basket/purse were these: a stacking ring toy, hair bands, headbands (that she refuses to wear), and a pink washcloth. She would put the rings, the hair bands, and the headbands on the column of the ring toy. Then she would cover it up with the pink washcloth. And over the washcloth, she would place a pacifier or some other object that happened to tickle her fancy at the moment. Everywhere we went today, we had to carry the baby, all the treasures in the "purse," and the stacking ring toy with the washcloth over the top.

     When we were leaving Patty and A.J.'s house after dinner tonight, I caught Adelyn doing a funny thing. Matt and I told her it was time to go, and to get her basket. She went to the little table, picked up her basket, and decided it looked empty. Even with all her treasures inside. She then starting filling it up with all of Casey's treasures. His cymbals, and various items to his train set. Thankfully, she didn't put up a fight when I told her she had to leave Casey's treasures at Casey's house.

     I am so in love with my daughter. She carries around her treasures all day, and I get to carry around mine. Her.

35. Electricity

Day 35: Electricity

     Tonight might prove to be a challenging night for me. It's storming. And Addy, Roxy, and I are alone. I hate being without Matt in a thunderstorm. Especially at night. As I was writing a rather lengthy post just now, the electricity went out, and I was in the pitch black basement alone. While lighting and thunder was outside cracking. It came back on as I was fumbling around for a flashlight.

     Tonight, I am so very thankful for electricity. I'm thankful it's back on. I'm thankful I can turn on lots of lights in the house so I can't see the bright flashes of lighting outside. I'm thankful I can watch Seinfeld to distract myself. I might just watch, "The Wink," episode over and over again tonight. I need to laugh. My biggest monster is outside. I want to show him he can give me his worst. But it doesn't matter. I'm inside laughing at Seinfeld.

    

34. Out in the "storm"

Day 34: Out in the "storm"

     Tonight was a great victory. Ordinarily, I would never venture out if there was even a slight risk of a thunderstorm. If there was a thunderstorm in the forecast...that meant I was staying in all day. I couldn't risk being caught out in a storm without the protection of my basement. If I was somehow caught outside during a storm...arrangements were made so that I could get home ASAP to get into the basement.

     I knew that there was thunderstorms in the forecast, but I went out anyways. In fact, I just got in. (It's after midnight.) I had a lovely night. Bought some new potty things for Adelyn, got to see my parents and Shane, and Steph and Mario. I even went to Wegman's to pick up a few things I needed. And when I parked...I saw lightning in the distance. I went in anyways.

     I am so bad-ass.

    

33. "Love you, Mama."

Day 33: "Love you, Mama."

     Three little words that melt my heart. Being with my daughter is magical. I love watching her grow. I love the color of her hair...like butter. I love spending all my time with her. She completes me in a way that I didn't even know needed completing. I love that she talks to me all day long. She is always talking. Communicating. Discovering new words. Putting sentences together. Perhaps the greatest sentence she has ever put together is this one: "love you, Mama." She said that to me tonight. After her bath. I was drying her hair, and she looked at me. Kissed me with her pacifier still in her mouth. A "paci kiss" we call them. And then she said...out of the blue...with no prompt to do so, "love you, Mama."

     What can I say? She is the most amazing thing in the world.

32. A Lovely Day

Day 32: A Lovely Day

     Adelyn and I had a lovely day together. We went to church in the morning. Addy is convinced that going to church is like going to the Doctor to get lots of shots. She has not been fond of it the past few weeks. Which is surprising considering the first time we went, she loved it. This morning, Omi was able to be with Addy B in church, so she only cried for a bit. After church, we played on a fun playground. It was very fun until a mean boy took Addy's baby, and started to run away with it. Addy sent her baby down the slide first, and then she went after. But she wasn't fast enough to grab baby away from the boy. Addy was very sad and upset. Of course, I rescued baby.

     After church, we had a nice lunch at Omi and Opa's house. Nap time didn't quite work out today, because there are so many fun toys at Omi and Opa's. We went to Buy Buy Baby, and got a special new thing for Addy. A froggie potty seat. It will match Addy's bathroom perfectly, and Addy has already sat on her new potty seat several times today. Even baby took a turn on the potty. Addy also has some new reading material for the time she will now be spending sitting on her potty. A book called, "No more Diapers for Ducky." It's a page turner. Adelyn was very intrigued.

     We had a wonderful dinner, and eating it made me realize how much I love dinners cooked by my Mom or Dad. Tastes like home. Like childhood. Adelyn ate so much. Honestly, I don't know where she puts it. Chicken, rice, broccoli, and almost an entire pomegranate. She loved the almond vanilla cookies for dessert so much that Omi and Opa sent them home with us.

     Thankful for a lovely day with my parents. Love them so much.

31. Late Dinners with Matt

Day 31: Late Dinners with Matt

     Addy has been in bed for almost two hours now. Matt and I haven't eaten our dinner yet...he has gone to get it. I love eating a late dinner in bed, with Matt, and watching a show. It is so comfy, and food always tastes better when you're hungry, and in bed.

     Thankful that Matt is the kind of guy that doesn't mind eating in bed. So thankful for our comfy life.

30. Date Night

Day 30: Date Night

     Before Adelyn: Could be anything from dinner, drinks, dancing, movies, clubs, bars...and extra-curricular activities.

     After Adelyn: usually just dinner.When we're going all out, dinner and a movie. And sleep.

     Funny how much things change after having a child. Funny how I don't miss our old life at all. Not in the slightest. I love where I'm at in life. Couldn't be happier. Even if extra-curricular activities aren't included on our date nights. Besides, that's what nap time is for.

    

29. Phone calls with Women I Love.

 Day 29. Phone calls with Women I Love.

     I love talking with loved ones. After all, I am a woman. It's what we do. We talk. Women have a lot to say.

I love catching up with Steph as she drives home from work.
I love catching up with old friends.
I love talking to Patty when we have a quiet moment.
I love texting with Chel about her wedding...and ART :)
I love seeing Addy come to attention, and say, "Omi," when she hears my Mom's ringtone. 

     It's amazing how women understand each other. It's amazing that I have so many awesome women in my life. Women who love me. And care about me.

     Something that made me smile tonight was this: Steph and I were talking. Making plans to see each other this weekend, and she says to me, "Did I ever tell you how lucky I am to have you in my life?"

     Wow. I am the lucky one. I am the one who is blessed beyond what I deserve.


   
  

28. Father-Daughter Dance

Day 28: Father-Daughter Dance

     Adelyn loves to dance. I've said this before. Posted about it before, but the subject deserves more attention. Especially when her Dada, who doesn't dance, dances.

     I love how something as monotonous as cleaning up from dinner can become memories to savor. We turned on Addy's favorite song, and watched her go to town. She has some moves! And she's not even two.

     Addy's dancing turns into dancing with Dada. That turns into Dada swinging Addy around and around. That turns into him pulling her by her feet across the kitchen floor. That turns into dancing while standing on Dada's feet. That turns into Addy deciding her baby needed to come dance with us as well. She grabbed up her baby, and pulled her around the kitchen by her feet. She swung baby around. She danced with baby the way her Dada was dancing with her.

     My favorite moment of our dance party was watching Matt dance with Addy. Her face right up next to his. Them cuddled together. Smiling. In love. A kitchen towel slung over his shoulder. The guy who doesn't dance...dancing.

27. What is it about a Daddy?

Day 27: What is it about a Daddy?

     What is it about a Daddy that makes a child smile from ear to ear? Why is when Daddy comes home the most exciting moment of the day? Why is it whenever a Daddy lays down on the floor, it is an invitation for a child to climb, crawl, wrestle, tickle?

     I was asking myself these questions tonight while I was watching Adelyn crawl all over Matt. Her laughter when playing with him is so beautiful and infectious. She runs at him with no concern for her safety. She knows he won't let her fall or get hurt. She crawls on him. Sits on him. Rolls on him. Lays on him.

     There is some magical innate understanding between Daughter and Daddy that drives them both to play. Love watching that play take place in our home.

26. A Different Kind of Adventure

Day 26: A Different Kind of Adventure

     My husband, love of my life, loves adventure. Always has. He has been living adventure since he was a child. It is no shock to me when he says he wants to swim with sharks. He wants to travel the world. He ran a marathon. He went sky-diving. He's a firefighter! There is even adventure in his profession.

     And then there's me. I do not swim in the ocean. I collect shells on the beach. I do not want to travel the world. I'm terrified to fly to Florida. I have no desire to run a marathon. No desire to jump out of a perfectly good plane. I could never be a firefighter.

     But, we work. I have always told Matt that when he married me, he had to settle for a different kind of adventure. I never realized until recently just how big our adventure together has been.

     Our family has been our greatest adventure. And we have so much more to go. We have so much more life to live. Celebrating Mother's Day this year made me realize just how blessed I am to be a Mother.

     Spending the day with my clingy, fussy girl was heaven today. And I don't mean that sarcastically. I love hearing Adelyn yell, "Mama" from her crib. I love cuddling in bed with her. I love the way her bare feet feel in my hands. I love the smell of her sweet breath. I love that she needs me. I love that she wants me to hold her all day long.

     I love that my adventure is us. I love that Matt's adventure is us, and he's not sad or the least bit disappointed that he is missing out on shark diving. I love that I can celebrate Mother's Day as a Daughter and a Mother. I love that I am living the life of my dreams, and it just keeps getting better.

     Happy "Different Kind of Adventure" Day to All.























adventure" Day to all.

25. Neighbors who kill snakes.

Day 25: Neighbors who kill snakes

     Does this need further explanation? No, but I will say this: We came home tonight to find a long, thick snake crawling up the side of our house. It had to be at least 3 feet long. Matt and I are not snake people. I knew it was something bad when I heard Matt exclaim, "holy shit," and saw him quickly backing away from our front door.  Our neighbor was our hero tonight. Got his shovel and some hedge cutters, and well...you know the rest.

     Very thankful for great neighbors.

24. Family Dinners

24. Family Dinners

     Family dinners are awesome in our family. There is never one family dinner when we don't have a good laugh. Usually, we laugh the entire time. And our laughter is of the loud, gut-busting variety.

     Love family dinners with my family.
    
    

23. Cleaning

Day 23: Cleaning

     I know. Not something to really be thankful for...but I've been thinking about it like this: I have no idea what Matt and I did with our time before we had Adelyn. No idea. I've said this before, but it almost seems like our lives were meaningless before her. I'm not saying people without children live meaningless lives. And I know ours weren't meaningless either. I only mean to say that our lives became so much deeper and fuller that in comparison to then...now seems way more meaningful.

     I used to clean the house every week. Top to bottom. I had a routine. And I was good at it. Now, I feel very much accomplished when I put new bedsheets on our bed, and wash our duvet cover. The list of cleaning in our home is almost never ending.

     But the reason it is that way is because of Adelyn. Every single room has her fingerprint on it. (Literally.) There is not one section of our home that does not have Addy in it. Little stickers stuck everywhere. Books. Treasures. Baby dolls. Plastic stacking cups. (One of her favorite things...no idea why.) Everywhere. And I think that's why it's always kind of messy now. But it's her mess, so I don't mind it as much.

22. A Glorious Day

22. A Glorious Day

     Today was a glorious day. I choose to use the word glorious because that is the word my Dad uses to describe days like these. And I rather like it. It has to be a day like today to use the word glorious. It has to be a very blue sky. There must be puffy white clouds. It needs to be on the cooler side. Not cold, but a bit brisk. And a bit breezy.

     We played outside all day. And all day...I kept thinking...how much I love my Dad. And his use of the word glorious.

21. Sister Date

Day 21: Sister Date
     Love hanging out with Patty. We got to see an old friend tonight...but not before we took a wrong turn and ended up on the toll road with literally zero cash. That was fun. We always get lost, or take wrong turns when we are together...but we always end up in the right place sooner or later.
     We did lots of baby/kid talk with our friend. It was good to catch up. Then we went out for a lovely meal ;) We were both dead tired today, but we still had a blast. Laughing. Lots of laughing. It's what we do best.
     Seriously, everyone needs a Patty. I'm blessed to have her.

20. The Clingy Stage

 Day 20. The Clingy Stage

     Adelyn is going through a clingy stage. She literally wants me to, "hold you," all day. "Hold you," means: hold me. I literally cannot do anything if she is awake without her begging for me to hold her, or hearing her whine because I'm not holding her, or having her cling onto my legs while whining because I'm not holding her, etc...

     My house is pretty messy. (By my standards, anyways...) Laundry needs to get done. I have to vacuum large tumbleweeds of Roxy's black hair that is collecting in the corners of each room. The white carpet is looking slightly grayish. Bathrooms need to be cleaned. A shower would be nice. But...

     I am in love with this clingy stage. The house can wait. I can shower when she's in bed. I love that my Addy B wants me 24/7. She wants me to hold her all day...no problem. I love how she rests her head on my shoulder. I love that she plays with my hair while I hold her. I love that she wants to just sit cuddled up in my lap for long periods of time. I loved hearing her wake up from nap today asking, "Maaamaaa...where are you?" Maamaa...Maamaa...where are you?" When I went into get her, true to form, she smiled and asked me to hold her.

     There won't be many years left of this. Already, my baby is becoming more and more of a big girl. I look forward to each new stage, of course, but...this clingy stage? I'll take this for a while. And I won't complain.

19. Acts of Courage

Day 19: Acts of Courage

     I enjoy witnessing acts of courage. I am a person that knows the value of courage. I know that what may seem like small potatoes to some may be another person's greatest monster. The thing they fear most. I respect people who chase down their greatest monster...and stomp on it. Crushing fear, courage prevailing.

     Patty is afraid of ticks. She hates ticks. One of her greatest monsters. This week, I had the pleasure of watching her face the monster.

     While playing outside with Casey and Adelyn at our favorite tree, she showed great courage. Three small little girls were also playing around the tree. (Seriously...everyone is drawn to our tree. It's amazing.) The smallest girl was talking to Patty, and she noticed she had a tick crawling on her. Patty could have sent her packing. She could have said, "Go tell your Mom or Dad." But she didn't. She got it off of her. That took courage.

     Last night, I got a text from Patty. She had a tick on her leg. A.J. is out of town. So, the options were: 1. She gets it off herself, or 2. Matt would drive over and get it off. (I hate ticks too...not good at removing them. Matt is a pro. He's had Lyme Disease, and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.) She chose option 1. That took courage.

     As I said...small potatoes to some. Greatest monster for Patty. Facing a great monster...that's pretty kick-ass!

   

18. Playing Games

Day 18: Playing Games
     Love playing games. Especially with family who loves to laugh. I love watching Matt get pissed when I'm winning! He sticks his tongue into the bottom corner of his mouth...and I know, he's getting really frustrated. He's very competitive. I love watching Steph laugh so hard, it looks like she's actually sobbing. And Mario's laugh is so contagious.
     Love spending time with family. And playing games.

17. Stretch Marks

Day 17:Stretch Marks

     I know this doesn't seem like something to be thankful for. And I'm not really thankful...I just accept them. They are my battle scars from birthing my girl. And everyone knows...scars are way cool!

      External beauty fades. Not one person can keep their body from sagging, wrinkling, and aging. But...is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. I will never have the body I did in high school. Who cares? I don't. I have a husband who loves and adores me. I have Adelyn.

     I would much rather have Adelyn and stretch marks...than no Adelyn and a flawless belly.

 

16. Promises

Day 16: Promises

     Awesome day today. I am amazed and in awe of the promises that continue to unfold before us. There is something so profound about seeing something you are promised become reality. Taking on character. Becoming more and more present. Hopes and dreams realized.

     Holding onto that dream. Holding onto hope. Holding onto my promises.


    

   

15. Sleeping Roxy

     There is perhaps no more peaceful sound than a sleeping dog. Especially, sleeping Roxy. How awesome is it that there is a furry, cute animal sleeping in bed with us. Who loves to cuddle with us. And when the sound of sleeping Roxy is accompanied by the sound of sleeping Matt, and sleeping Addy...that is the sound of peace.

14. Picnics, Playgrounds, and Playing in the Rain

Day 14: Picnics, Playgrounds, and Playing in the Rain

     We had a fun morning. We went to Claude Moore Playground. Usually the place is packed! There has to be at least 50 people there at all times. But, because it was a bit cloudy and sprinkling on and off...there was only two other families at the park. We went with Patty, Casey, Megan, and Robby. Adelyn is becoming quite the tomboy as she is always playing with little boys!

     The kids were having a great time, and then it started raining. At first, we tried to keep them dry under the one umbrella at the park. However, holding a squirming toddler on your hip while in the presence of an awesome playground (or any playground for that matter) is impossible. We were soon forced to let them go. It turned out to be pretty awesome. They loved playing in the rain.

     The rain made the slides even more fun.

     Just one of several videos I took of the kids sliding/falling off the very slippery slides.

     After we played for a while, we had a picnic. First ever picnic for the little ones. They loved it. They especially loved the little picnic table that was just their size! Not sure that everyone had the most balanced lunch...but they ate. And because us Mamas need a treat now and then too...we went to Carousel. Had some fries and ice cream. It was pretty awesome. 

     Thankful we got to make some fun memories with our little ones today.  And thankful for Carousel. :)

13. Greenie

Day 13: Greenie
     Greenie Bear. I swear he is Skipper reincarnated. He is so amazing with Casey and Adelyn. He will literally play with them for hours. It's often Casey and Adelyn who tire first when he's playing with them. He loves stuffed animals, and he steals them from the kids any chance he gets. He even opens drawers to get to them...pulling the drawer out by his teeth. He is so wiggly! He sometimes jumps up and down on all fours when he's excited. He loves to be a lap dog. He loves to cuddle with you, but you can't hold him. If you try to hold or hug him...it lights this little ignition switch in him. He goes berserk. He wiggles furiously back and forth to try to escape. He loves to curl up into a tiny ball on the couch. Sometimes his breath stinks really bad. But it's okay.
     I love him. Makes me miss Skipper.