Birthday boys.

February 28, 2019
Day 883

Thankful for:

my brother, Shane. Today is his birthday!

my nephew, Casey. Today is his birthday!

birthday parties.

big birthday cakes.

nachos for dinner.

Adelyn.

Tobin.

Sophia.

Odette.

Dogs.

Higbee's love of apples.

snow days.

I'm off tomorrow; I can't believe it; I'm so happy.

Seinfeld.

extra long baths.

bubbles in baths.

lotion.

time to myself.

my babies cuddled together in bed with their stuffed animals.

Higbee resting with his head on my leg.

time to write about the good bits in life.

words.

the hope of being a great author one day.

not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.

I'm on the watch.

February 27, 2019
Day 882

     "I'm on the watch for it." -Louis May Alcott.

     I've been saying and saying these words to myself. I'm on the watch. I feel a bubbling over in my soul. A low simmer that is threatening to overflow the pot and spill out over the edges. I feel a great something rising up inside me. I don't know what it is, but I'm on the watch.

     Here's what I know:

Tomorrow is a new day. I can make it what I want.

     Thankful for that possibility; tomorrow.

     Thankful for that word; tomorrow.

     Thankful for time to sleep until tomorrow.

Seinfeld and Tea.

February 26, 2019
Day 881

     Tonight, I went in to kiss Tobin goodnight, and he was cuddled up in his blanket cuddling a stuffed animal. My Tobin boy loves his stuffed animals. He loves to cuddle. And he's not feeling well. When my boy isn't feeling well, I just want to love on him even more than I already do. I'm thankful for my cuddly boy. He's always been my cuddle boy. He makes my arms feel full and satisfied when I hold him.

     Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for her sassy, strong-willed personality. She's super strong. I know she's going to do something amazing. Thankful for my lighthouse girl. She shines so bright, I could never be lost with her around.

     Thankful for Hibgee. I love the way he jumps up on me after school.

     Thankful for Matt. He loves me so wildly and deeply. He just loves me. Fact. Period. Nothing to be done about it. He always has. And I know he always will.

     Thankful for family. Thankful for good Tuesdays. Thankful for bedtime. And Seinfeld. And tea.

The smell of lavender.

February 25, 2019
Day 880

Thankful for:

my warm home.

strong trees.

the power of prayer.

hawks.

early bedtimes.

sweet students.

good Mondays.

fresh new weeks with no mistakes in them.

the smell of lavender.

lavender oil.

time to lay in bed and write.

I'm wasting time.

February 24, 2019
Day 879

     I realized something tonight, and it's very important.

     Whenever I look at baby pictures of my children, I feel an intense ache. My heart aches to hold my children as they were when they were babies. My arms feel empty, and I have a longing to fill them with my babies. I've often wondered why this is. And tonight, I think I've come to the conclusion:

     I'm wasting time. Every day, I waste just a little bit of time doing something that literally does not matter at all. Sitting and staring. Scrolling. Watching a show.

     I looked at our family calendar tonight with all of the days crossed off, and the realization came to me: maybe my heart aches to hold my children as babies because even when they were babies, I wasted time.

     Why do I not spend every single free moment I have staring into their wondrous eyes? Why do I not spend every little spare minute talking with them? Or holding them? Or carrying them? Or telling them how beautiful and special they are?

     I am literally wasting the precious time I have with them with stupid stuff. Stuff that literally does not matter in the slightest.

     I have promised myself that tomorrow is a new day. I will not waste any more time doing meaningless things. I will spend my spare minutes and seconds with my babies, because they matter. And when I look at baby pictures, I want to know full well that the only reason I'm feeling an ache is because I want to hold my tiny babies once more, and not because I wasted time.

     Thankful for realizations. Thankful for my beautiful babies. Thankful that tomorrow is a new day, and I can make it what I want. Thankful for second chances.

A new day starts tomorrow.

February 23, 2019
Day 878

Thankful for:

our warm, cozy home.

ice cream.

pizza.

birthday parties.

going into a week of school with literally every single paper graded, recorded, and sorted.

a cleaned, organized classroom.

Little Women. 

my husband and children; they are the joys and lights of my life.

our dog; I love his eyes.

a new day starts tomorrow.

Hot tea with honey and lemon.

February 22, 2019
Day 877

Thankful for:

a nice vehicle to drive.

dinner out with friends.

nights where I can get into bed early.

Friday nights.

seeing Higbee after work.

the weekend ahead of me.

Casey's birthday coming up.

Seinfeld.

time to lay in bed and rest.

a good Friday at school.

a new week ahead of me.

curly hair.

kisses from my babies.

smiles from my babies.

a cold Saturday to look forward to.

time to sleep.

hot tea with honey and lemon.

vitamins.

cookies with tea.

Fries covered in cheese.

February 21, 2019
Day 876

Thankful for:

apples in bed.

sharing apples in bed with Higbee.

Seinfeld.

time to write about the good things.

the eyes of my children. Adelyn's are the color of a blue, blue ocean. Tobin's are the color of a green sea.

dinners out to celebrate our children getting good grades in school.

reading rewards.

time to wrestle and tickle and cuddle in bed.

the blue of the sky today.

the slush of the icy snowy goop outside.

hawks that fly by my window.

tomorrow is Friday. I love Fridays.

extra thick vanilla milkshakes that you can't drink but have to eat with a spoon.

fries covered in cheese.

burgers.

taking off a night from eating clean.

mugs with hot tea.

the click of Higbee's nails on our woods floors.

our home in the woods.

my family.

my job.

things that are good, lovely, and admirable. I think of these things.

Sassy Addy.

February 20, 2019
Day 875

Thankful for:

a snow day today.

a snow day tomorrow.

food to cook and eat and enjoy.

time to get some things done and get caught up on stuff.

hot tea and chocolate.

chili for dinner.

cold, cold air.

our warm, dry home.

time together in our warm, dry home.

time to play outside in the snow.

the woods.

the snowy woods.

our house in the snowy woods.

sassy Addy.

sweet Tobin.

sleepy Higbee.

movie nights.

A vehicle to drive to work.

February 19, 2019
Day 874

Thankful for:

A good day at school.

Friends at school.

A vehicle to drive to work.

Children that love me.

100 days of school.

Snow in the forecast.

A dog that is so happy to see me when I come home.

Knowing about a snow day before we get it so we don't have to set alarms for the next day.

The sound of the keys under my fingers as I type.

The feeling of the keys under my fingers as I type.

A day to get things done at home.

Soup.

Antler in our bed.

February 18, 2019
Day 873

Thankful for:

a day with family.

breakfast with the grandparents.

sandwiches for dinner.

soup for dinner.

apple slices with hot tea.

snow in the forecast.

books to read.

my children.

my husband.

phone calls with Jason.

phones calls with Patty.

watching Friends while cleaning the kitchen.

Higbee chewing an antler in our bed.

a new week of school starting tomorrow.

our beautiful home.

Wood Walks.

February 17, 2019
Day 872

Thankful for:

Seinfeld. 

wine.

nights spent with my husband in our bedroom.

our home.

home is my favorite place, and my favorite word, and my favorite smell.

cuddling in bed with my babies.

time spent with my family.

chicken soup with homemade bread.

dance parties.

breakfast plans for tomorrow.

shopping plans for tomorrow.

lots of things crossed off my to-do list today.

working from home in my bed this morning.

Higbee's face and his eyes.

morning walks with my husband and our son and our furry son in the woods.

deer running through the woods.

things to be thankful for.

My house smells like Christmas.

February 16, 2019
Day 871

Thankful for:

time with my babies.

baking in my kitchen with sunlight pouring in the kitchen.

Friends. 

time with my friend, Lorrie.

time to volunteer.

my house smells like Christmas because I made so many cookie bars.

cold air.

the hope of snow in the air.

watching my kids and their friends and my dog run through the woods.

chocolate.

hot tea.

Short blog posts.

February 15, 2019
Day 870

Thankful for:

Fridays.

time to lay in bed and watch TV.

time to cuddle with my babies.

short blog posts.

Little dogs named, Maggie.

February 14, 2019
Day 869

Thankful for:

a very sweet Valentine's day.

presents and cards from sweet kids.

hugs.

party days at school.

a lovely dinner at my mother in law's house.

butter, sour cream, and bacon.

my sister, Stephanie.

my other mama, Sue.

my brother in law, Mario.

chocolate.

cake.

kisses goodbye.

little dogs named, Maggie.

little barks from little dogs.

flowers.

bags of goodies.

salad for lunch tomorrow.

tea and honey in a giant mug.

a full dishwasher washing a full load of dishes.

a clean kitchen.

gifts from my husband.

tomorrow is Friday.

the weekend is coming.

snow in the forecast.

a fine Thursday.

Muddy shoes.

February 13, 2019
Day 868

Thankful for:

good Wednesdays at school.

Tobin is feeling better.

my husband did dishes for me.

students who love me.

kisses and hugs from my babies.

things to be thankful for.

muddy shoes.

cold, pink cheeks.

recess time.

we're halfway done with the week.

The sound of pistachios.

February 12, 2019
Day 867

Thankful for:

a good Tuesday.

a day filled with clean eating.

bananas, apples, salad.

the color of pistachios.

the sound of pistachios.

misty days.

successful days at school.

hugs from my daughter and kisses from my son.

hugs from Matt.

texts from Matt.

Tuesdays that go smoothly.

Eating ice cream in bed.

February 11, 2019
Day 866

Thankful for:

an extra day at home to be with my babies.

cuddling in bed with my dog.

cuddling in bed with my husband.

mint chocolate chip ice cream.

eating ice cream in bed whilst watching Friends.

pillows and blankets and songs and sweaters.

a good Monday.

Local honey.

February 10, 2019
Day 865

Thankful for:

-a lovely morning and afternoon with my kids and my grandma.

-local honey.

-little shops to shop in.

-a little town to explore.

-running into two students that I love.

-soup and bread at a coffee shop.

-time to grade papers.

-snow falling outside right now.

-another day off of school tomorrow.

-Higbee sleeping in bed with me.

-time to play games with my kids.

Runs up and down the driveway.

February 9, 2019
Day 864

Thankful for:

-time to clean my house. I love cleaning my home. I can't believe I have this home to clean and live in and grow old in.

-long walks in the woods.

-runs up and down the driveway.

-deli meat sandwiches.

-time with my husband. I love being with my love.

-time with my babies.

-time to cuddle with my Higbee boy.

-another day off with my family.

A person can keep on dreaming.

February 8, 2019
Day 863

     Thankful for a good Friday at school. Thankful for students who make me want to be a better person. Thankful for hopes and dreams. Thankful that a person can keep on dreaming. Thankful for friends at work. Thankful for my sister. Thankful for hugs from my daughter and my son. I feel so undeserving to even all a person my daughter or my son. Thankful for my husband. He loves me even though. He loves me even though I'm tired and grumpy sometimes. He loves me even though he stayed awake for me to come home and have some alone time with him, but when I came home, I was exhausted. He told me it was okay, and that he stilled loved me. God blessed me more than words can say when He gave me Matt, and Adelyn, and Tobin. Thankful for things like hope. Thankful for hawks. Thankful for things like sunlight coming in an open window. Thankful for things like cold air and cold wind. Thankful for Mexican food. Thankful for chips and salsa. Thankful for to do lists. It means I have a job. Thankful for prayer journals. Thankful for days to lay in bed and be quiet and still. I awoke with a start today because I thought I was late. I had to ask Matt and Tobin what day it was. Thankful for the relief I felt when I realized it was Saturday morning. Thankful for this time and space in which to write.

Higbee loves apples.

February 7, 2019
Day 862

Thankful for:

Thursdays.

things to be thankful for on Thursdays.

my watch.

dreary days.

misty drives home.

fog.

new fidgets for my classroom.

windows.

lovely salads for lunch.

big mugs of tea.

apples shared with Higbee. Higbee loves apples.

kisses from Addy and Tobin.

texts from my husband.

Fridays. I love that tomorrow is Friday.

this exercise in thankfulness. Being thankful keeps me thinking.

no plans for the weekend. I love weekends with no plans.

friends.

good days at school.

peanuts.

turkey burgers.

deer in the early morning woods.

fox mugs.

shopping trips with Adelyn and Tobin.

my new laptop.

my desk in my room.

time to lay in bed.

Very hot showers.

February 6, 2019
Day 861

Thankful for:

-a great Wednesday.

-my husband.

-fun nights.

-kisses from my children.

-very hot showers.

-papers to grade. It means I have a job.

-time to lay in bed and drink tea.

-blister peanuts.

-The Office.

-lunches all prepped for tomorrow.

There are words and phrases and sentences that haven't been written yet.

February 5, 2019
Day 860

Thankful for:

- a good day at school.

-cooler weather is coming tomorrow.

-tomorrow is Wednesday. I love Wednesdays.

-a good PTO meeting tonight.

-a job that I love.

-amazing friends.

-amazing family.

-new grace and mercy every morning.

-my husband.

-my kids.

-my dog.

-time to lay in bed and drink decaf black tea and eat a few blister peanuts.

-the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard.

-the knowledge that there are words and phrases and sentences that haven't been written yet.

-my beautiful home.

-dreams.

-dreams that come true.

-dreams that I'm still praying about.

It was a fresh, clean Monday.

February 4, 2019
Day 859

Thankful for:

Mondays. It's the freshest day of the week. It can be the hardest, but it's the freshest and the cleanest. I think it matters so much what you do on a Monday. It matters because if you make Monday a good, successful day, the rest of the week will follow suit.

Students. They make me a better person.

My children. It is my life's greatest joy to cuddle in bed with them and hug them and kiss them goodnight. All I ever wanted in life was a husband and children. And I have the greatest husband and the sweetest children. Life is good. And I so don't deserve such happiness.

Salads in the fridge for lunch tomorrow. I love a good salad. Especially if it contains fresh curly parsley and cilantro.

Higbee and the way he's so happy to see me when I get home from school.

Long phone conversations with my parents. I'm so glad we're such good friends.

The feeling that it's going to be a great week.

The feeling of Sunday.

February 3, 2019
Day 858

Thankful for:

time to read in bed.

superbowl parties.

junk food.

time to sit and talk with family.

Matt's mom likes to make a big fuss over fun days like the superbowl. I love her for it.

a grand morning with my loves.

seeing an amazing hawk in my front yard.

cuddling in bed with my husband.

the feeling of Sunday.

This time and this space.

February 2, 2019
Day 857

Thankful for:

days to organize and clean the garage.

days to nap on the couch.

days to make sandwiches for lunch. I love sandwiches.

oranges.

new dishes from my grandma to clean and put away.

playing games with my family.

walks down the driveway with my family.

bare trees.

beautiful sunsets.

twilight light.

turkey meatballs.

time with my husband.

time with my babies.

stuffed animals.

time to write about what I'm thankful for.

the crunch of gravel under my feet.

this time and this space in which to be thankful.

The woods at night.

February 1, 2019
Day 856

Thankful for:

two hour delays.

snow.

the feeling of being home early on a Friday night and the whole weekend ahead of you.

blankets and movies.

time at home with my family.

night walks with Higbee.

the woods at night.