The power and beauty in storms.

Project 365 * 4
Day 498

~For my mom. A woman who has been riding out storms her entire life.~

     Here's the scene: I was driving home from my parent's house. Adelyn and Casey were sleeping. Tobin was at Patty's house. The sky was dark and getting darker. There was no music. No noise. Just the sound of the engine humming. The clouds were amazing and menacing at the same time. Having always been afraid of storms, it's hard for me to see them as just amazing. I always get the feeling that something sinister is lurking within them. Usually when I'm driving, I feel big on the road. I drive an Excursion, after all. I'm the biggest thing on the road besides tractor-trailers. But tonight...the sky was so big and so powerful, and the storm was so threatening, I felt incredibly small. Like an ant driving down the road.

     As we were nearing home, and I could see our mountain from 66, I was sick that I didn't have my camera with me. The clouds from the storm were everywhere. All around. Dark, dark clouds. Except by our mountain. Near the top, there was a huge break in the clouds. An electric orange light was glowing from the sun going down. The combination of the orange glow and the dark clouds was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in the sky. I couldn't stop staring. I was sad when my exit came.

     I was reminded tonight witnessing the power and the beauty of the storm, that the same is true of storms within our lives. Storms come. They make us feel small and helpless. We wonder if there is something sinister lurking. We fear. We doubt. We lose faith, even. But there is also power in the storm. The storm gives us fuel. Fuel to make changes. Fuel to write. Fuel to be better than you've ever been before. It gives us the fuel to love more deeply. To live life more fully. It gives us perspective. The sheer power of the storm gives us the power we need to make it through. The stronger the storm, the stronger we are on the other side.

     Storms come. They amaze us with bright lights, 500 shades of blue and gray, incredible clouds, and sometimes, even an electric orange glow above mountain tops. They really are quite beautiful. You just have to change the way you look at them. In life, when storms come, our first instinct is to hate them. To hate the storm itself. To hate everything about the storm. But there is beauty there. Just waiting to be found. Maybe just around the corner, there is a mountain top with glowing orange clouds above it. Maybe there are rainbows waiting. Maybe flowers will bloom because of it. Maybe there is power in the beauty of the storm.

     Thankful for storms. Storms in the sky, and storms in my life. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. Thankful they have something to teach me. Thankful for my mom. She taught me from a very young age that storms were beautiful. I'm just sorry I didn't believe her until now.

Call me Ishmael.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 247

“Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off - then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.” --Herman Melville. 

     Been feeling a bit like Ishmael lately. Been feeling the need to explore the watery places in this world. Been feeling the need to escape to the sea. Everything in me is screaming, "run back to the ocean." I want desperately to escape schedules and reality, and just sit in peace on the beach with the ones I love best. And yet, at the same time, thoughts and images of me floating alone in the wide open black sea nag me constantly. I'm floating there alone. Not knowing what will happen. Questioning. Fearing. Worrying. Not trusting. Anger washing like a flood over me. 

     For as long as I can remember, I've imagined myself floating on my back in the ocean during times of trouble, sorrow, uncertainty, anger... It dawned on me tonight that my lighthouse, the thing that has most certainly saved me countless times from slipping under the black water, has been my family. I imagine myself almost losing hope. And then, I see them. I spot them. I swim with everything in me to get to them. And finally, as the waves toss me up onto the shore, the clouds part, the sea calms, the sun comes out, and I am sitting on the beach. Surrounded by all the great loves of my life.

     I'm thankful that tonight, as anger and uncertainty threatened to take me down into the great black depths, I found my lighthouses. I'm thankful for peace. I'm thankful for calm. I'm thankful I can push away anger. I'm thankful for all the great loves in my life. I'm unbelievably blessed. 

     

Storms and Peace.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 14

     Storms. They enter our lives swiftly, and without warning. They knock us off our feet. They cause fear, doubt, panic. They make us question. They make us doubt. They leave us dripping wet, cold, and alone. They leave us searching for refuge. A warm place away from harm. A safe haven. Where we can relax, and breathe again. Where we can lean back into the arms of someone who loves us. And lay sleeping for hours in their embrace. Our troubles forgotten.

     Storms, they come. But there is peace that passes all understanding. It won't make sense. You can't explain it. This kind of peace is peace that is beyond our comprehension. It passes all understanding.

     I'm thankful tonight for peace in the midst of the storm. I'm thankful that after sitting at this screen for hours, contemplating what I should say, words came to me. The right words. I wrote and erased several pieces of writing. And then, I just gave up, and gave in. When there is something that needs to be said, I am not one that can leave it unsaid.

     This is for you. You know who you are. And consider this: 

Then Jesus got into the boat and started across the lake with his disciples. Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him up, shouting, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” Jesus responded, “Why are you afraid? You have so little faith!” Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm. The disciples were amazed. “Who is this man?” they asked. “Even the winds and waves obey him!” 

     Storms come. But, God calms the storm. 

Tobin will be three months tomorrow. He weighs just shy of 16 pounds. :)

Man, do I love this smile.

The many faces of Adelyn. Here we have, pensive.

Me: Adelyn, make a sad face!

Me: Adelyn, make a surprised face!

Me: Adelyn, pretend that you're cold.

Me: Adelyn, make a mad face.

?

Me: Adelyn, pretend to be as strong as an ox.

Bubble bath face.