Let me count the ways...

Let me count the ways...

     This day, two years ago, we were all waiting. Impatiently, I might add. It was a super hot summer. I was huge. And past my due date. And everyone was wondering: when? She didn't come until August 20th. I was thinking today about the first moment I saw my Adelyn. It was the most amazing moment I've ever experienced. Like time stood still. All else faded.

     We didn't know if she would make it. She had to be resuscitated. Twice. Honestly, when she born, no one said anything to us. The only thing I remember hearing is a nurse telling Matt to, "come be with your wife." We cried waiting to hear if she would cry. Or make any noise at all for that matter. Those were scary, dark, minutes.

     And then...there she was. Naked. On my chest. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life. That was when it was like time stood still. The twenty-some people milling about the room faded from my view. The realization of what had just happened seemed to disappear when I saw her. She cried a bit. I cried a lot. I felt like I couldn't open my eyes wide enough to absorb all the beauty that was laying on my chest. I touched her fingers. They were sticky. And so tiny. It was a feeling and a moment that I will never forget.

     Time marches on. It's bittersweet. I love watching my girl reach new milestones. I love each new step we take together. But, then, I remember. When all she wanted to do all day was lay in my arms. It feels like yesterday that she was a newborn. How can she be turning 2 this year? How is it possible?

     She has saved me. In more ways than I can possibly ever count. But, perhaps, the way that stands out the most to me is this: she has been my sunshine. My lighthouse. I know I've described her this way before. But, it's the truth.

     After she was born, I had a lengthy recovery. It was a very hard time in my life. Not because of her...but because of all the healing that needed to happen. I wasn't given the all clear from my doctor until March. She was born in August. And even then, my doctor was like: you're better, but not 100%. A month later, I was pregnant with River. The following August, we lost River. This January, I got pregnant with Tobin. This is the third summer in a row that I've spent pregnant.

     It has been a roller coaster. Lots of ups and downs. But one thing has remained constant. The pure joy and sunshine that is Adelyn. She has been my lighthouse. A bright, shining light when my days were dark. But I would never have known how bright her light shines unless I saw those dark days. The darker the day...the brighter she was to me. She is the most amazing little girl I have ever known. And she's mine!

     I could count the ways I love her...but the list would never end. I cannot wait to celebrate her birthday this year. She loves birthday parties. And party hats. And cake and ice cream. I can't wait to see the look on her face when we get up on the 20th, and I can tell her: today is your birthday! She has an awesome "excited" face. So in love with her!