43. Choosing...

Day 43: Choosing...

     Tomorrow is a big day for me, and my family. There will be more big days. But right now, tomorrow seems like the biggest day ever. A huge hurdle I have to clear. I am proud of myself because in the past, the thought of tomorrow would make today almost non-existent. I would have been concentrating so much on the hurdle of tomorrow that I would miss the sweetness and joys of today.

     Today was a hard day. I'm nervous. And Adelyn was a needy baby today. She was actually, in fact, a wee bit naughty. But even in her naughtiness...she still overwhelms me with joy. And peace. Just holding her, and smelling her hair is like drinking 20 cups of Calm Tea.

     I had a choice today. I had to choose to either have faith or to give in to fear and doubt. Either choice is a hard path to follow. Choosing to let fear and doubt rule my life causes me immense discomfort. It causes me to miss precious minutes and hours I can never get back. Choosing to have faith is equally as hard, but in a different way. For me, faith is like this: I am alone in a black ocean. I have no idea what will happen. I have no idea what is beneath me. What lies ahead of me. What lurks in the dark, murky waters. I am floating on my back with my arms wide open. And there is nothing for me to do, but just float there. Just wait there. And trust.

     As I float on my back in the water tonight, I am saying over and over again...I believe. I trust you. I have faith. It's all I can do. I'm thankful to be in the water. Floating in the water has made me the woman I am today. Floating in the darkness for months has allowed me to finally see a ray of light.

    

42. Fantastic Regular Days

Day 42: Fantastic Regular Days

     It's Wednesday. Just an ordinary Wednesday. But, I spend my Wednesdays, and all my days with Adelyn. And Matt when he's off. And my sister and Casey usually. And I've found that I live a fantastic version of regular life.

     Today's version included a play date with good friends. A special Chick-Fil-A lunch. Nap. Fun at the pool with Patty and Casey. Tacos for dinner. Ice cream.

     Adelyn loves to play with her Dada in the pool. She wants nothing to do with me when we're all in the water. And I don't mind because I get to sit back and watch them together. What a gift. The two of them. Playing together. I love to hear Addy giggle and laugh with him.  I love to watch her plant kisses all over him just because she's so happy to be at the pool with him. I love to watch Casey console Addy when she's screaming because it's break. "It okay, Addy. It okay!" He is so so sweet with her. I love to hear Addy putting sentences together. Growing up so fast. Sentences like, "Tante, moi! Tante, moi! Pees!" (Translation: Aunt Patty, more ice cream, please!) I especially love the hugs and kisses and cuddles I get from my girl.

     I am so blessed. I have fantastic regular days every day.

41. I get to hold the remote.

Day 41: I get to hold the remote.

    I have the best husband. He lets me hold the remote. Every night. Night after night. He watches Seinfeld, and The Office over and over again with me. He even watches Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman with me.

     I get to hold the remote. I used to think it was because Matt truly enjoys watching the same shows over and over again like I do. But, now I just know it's because he loves me so much.

     Thankful that I have Matt. He's the best. Even though he was a little snippy with me last night. :)

40. Make Up Sweets

Day 40: Make Up Sweets

     My sister and I used to get into the worst fights as girls. I would shove her into closets. She once whipped me with an electrical cord...we don't fight like that anymore. Now, it's almost weird and awkward when we fight. Maybe because we can't unleash the fury. I mean, we can't exactly be whipping each other with electrical cords anymore. So now, we just have annoying fights. Stupid fights. That escalate into you said this, and you did this, I can't believe you... Like tonight, we had a fight over which road to take to Target.

     But one thing I love about us, we don't let things fester. We get it all out there. Sometimes, we cry. Sometimes, we yell. And then...it's over. We forget about it. And we move on. And we like to commemorate the end of a fight with something sweet, usually. Tonight, it was Sweet Frog.

     Thankful for a sister who loves me. Even though I used to push her into closets. 

39. First Pool Trip of the Summer.

Day 39. First Pool Trip of the Summer.

     Had a lovely bbq with the family today. Love spending time with my family. And they love me, even when I am grumpy and moody. (Thanks for putting up with me, Mom and Patty. I know not everyone would.) After dinner, we went to the pool. I love the first pool trip of the season. It's like the first snow of the season. Addy was filled with wonder and pure joy!

     Casey likes to jump. Over and over. He gets out. He jumps in. He swims back to the wall. He gets out. He jumps in. He has always loved the water. Addy likes to be spun around in the water. She loves the water as well. And both she and Casey are literally nothing but smiles the entire time we are there. That is until the guard blows the whistle.

     I loved watching Addy and Casey play with my Dad in the pool. Reminds me of my childhood. It is always a special occasion when my Dad swims. Not because it isn't that often, just because he's so much fun in the pool. Feel the same way about Matt. Love to hang onto him as he swims us girls around.

     Good day. Fun day. Thankful for my family.

38. Fresh Fruit in the Summer

38. Fresh Fruit in the Summer

     I love fruit. Especially in the summer. Fresh strawberries, peaches, white peaches, nectarines. I remember picking blackberries and raspberries at my Grandparents house in MD. We would pick them straight off the bush and eat them right there. They were so sweet and warmed by the sun. They melted in your mouth.

     It seems that Addy has taken after me in my love of tasty summer fruit. She refused to eat anything else for dinner except strawberries, blackberries, pineapple, watermelon, and cherry tomatoes.

     She did however eat all her dessert. Vanilla Raspbery ice cream from Trader Joe's. I've taught her well.

37. Day with Patty and my Mama

Day 37. Day with Patty and my Mama

     Awesome day with my sister and my Mama! We didn't do anything spectacular. We just spent time together. Had lunch. Got pedicures. Took a walk or two. But, it was really a lovely day.

     I personally feel that needing to do something spectacular with loved ones in order to spend time together is a sign that something is missing. I think it's the ordinary days that mean the most. Special days, special occasions, spectacular outings come and go. They're fun. But it's the ordinary days. The regular outings. Even the silence you spend in each others company that creates memories that last forever.

     Blessed to have my Mama, and my sister. My first friends. My best friends.