I'm going to hang onto his words forever.

December 16, 2019
Day 1,175

     This morning, I asked Tobin to pray with my for a little girl named Olive. She died and her parents are asking for prayer that God will work a miracle and bring her back to life.

     Tobin prayed a beautiful prayer. The words he spoke were far beyond his years. He prayed that she would be made well. He prayed that God would heal her just as he healed the ten lepers and other people when "You were here." But then he made a correction: "Well, You're always here, but when You were walking on earth." He asked that God would touch her head and make her well. He has such strong faith.

     After he prayed, he remembered a dream he had long ago. I remembered it as well because it was so powerful. I blogged about it. Tobin had been very sick, and I was very worried. I used to ask Tobin every morning, "What did you dream about last night?" His answer was the same every morning: "nothing." On this particular morning, after we had both been up many times in the night doing breathing treatments, Tobin told me, "Last night, I dreamed that angels were flying around me."

     This morning, he told me more of his dream:

"I was walking up a long staircase to God's castle. God's castle is very big. It's bigger than Asia; the biggest continent. It's made of gold. The angels in heaven are brighter than the angels on earth. They were so bright, I was afraid I was going to go blind, but I didn't. I saw Jesus. I knew it was Him right away. He was glowing. He was wearing white with a blue cloth. There was a big cloud over the castle. It was glowing. God was in that cloud. It was such a peaceful dream...it was so peaceful. An angel told me that tomorrow, I would be healed by the one true Lord. And I was, Mom. The next day, I got better." He also told me that in God's temple in heaven, there is a room where you can see all the Bible stories. He said it's like they're real, and you can watch them.

     After he told me his dream, I went downstairs and was talking very quietly with my mom on the phone. Tobin was upstairs brushing his teeth. There is no way he could have heard what he said next. I was telling my mom a little bit about Olive. There was a peson that painted a picture of an olive branch with Olive's name written like this: O-Live! And her name means awaken or awakening. When I came upstairs, Tobin told me this: "I have another prayer for Awaken." I asked him if I told her what Olive's name meant. He said no and continued: "This is my prayer for Awaken. That tomorrow she would be healed by the one true Lord, like I was." Tomorrow would mark the 3rd day. The day that Olive's parents are asking God to raise their daughter from the dead.

     I told Tobin that I wished I could have a dream like that. He replied, "You have. Remember the dream you had about Poppy?" I had forgotten. I had an amazing dream about my grandfather that was straight up from heaven. I saw my grandfather with a new body and happy and at peace. He was simply put: beautiful and full of peace.

     I'm in awe of my boy that hears from God. My Tobin Solomon. My boy who is full of wisdom at such a young age. I'm thankful and I'm humbled. I'm humbled to call Tobin my son and Adelyn my daughter. I'm humbled to call River my daughter. I'm humbled that I still have time on earth to love my little ones. I'm thankful and grateful and humbled and completely wrecked by God's love for me. I am the most undeserving creature. I don't deserve any kind of happiness, success, love, joy, peace. But He gives it. Because He loves me.

     Praying for a miracle for Olive. Praying for perspective. Praying that the world will see a miracle and praise God for it. Thankful for Tobin. Thankful to call him my son. I'm going to hang onto his words forever.