12 months to do 10 things.

December 31, 2019
Day 1,190

     As I sit here and write and erase and write and erase at the end of one year and the beginning of another, I am reminded of the things I didn't do this year. Things like lose the baby weight once and for all. Things like publish a book. Become an author. A real, live author. Paint the house. Become a runner again. All the usual things I long to have made a reality and don't year after year.

     But here's something else; I'm reminded of the things that I didn't do that really matter. Things like read extra books before bedtime with my babies. Spend more time with the people I love. Call people. Write to people. Dance in the kitchen with my husband while we wait for dinner. Spend more time in the woods. Pray for people. I'm reminded of all the times I should have put down my phone and been present and didn't. I'm reminded of every missed opportunitiy I've had to play with my children. To be young and wild with them while I still can be. I'm reminded that when I come to the end of my life, I will not speak to my family about how clean I kept the house, or what my body looked like when I was 37, or about my job. I will speak to them about love. I will tell them how much I love them. I will tell them to love each other. I will hold their hands and look at their faces and just swim in all the love that surrounds me when all the great loves of my life are close by.

     I've said it before. I'll say it again. If, at the end, love is A L L that matters, why do I waste my time with anything less than.

     Here is what I want to do this year:

1. I want to be present. In every moment.
2. I want to write more. 
3. I want to play and be wild.
4. I want to dance more.
5. I want to sing more.
6. I want to pray more.
7. I want to listen more.
8. I want to go visiting. I want to surprise people I love by knocking on their doors to say hello.
9. I want to send more letters in the mail. Everyone loves a letter in a mailbox.
10. I want to L O V E more.

     I have 12 months to do 10 things. I can feel it. It's going to be a good year.