7 Days Left
Was thinking today about the movie, Click . The one where Adam Sandler has a magic controller that lets him fast forward through the bad moments in life. Or the boring ones. Or the hard ones. Basically, anything unpleasant...he presses this magic button, and he skips past it.
I go through days where I know without a shadow of a doubt that everything will be okay, and that Tobin will be in my arms in 7 days. I go through days where I know that I have nothing to fear with the c-section. And I go through days where I do nothing but fear and doubt and question and panic. Today was a fearful day. And I found myself thinking this horrible thought: skip. I wish I could click through the c-section, and skip to the good part.
Shame on me for thinking that. For even letting that thought cross my mind. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had a remote controller with a magic skip button. I am who I am, I know what I know, I live this life because of all the things I've walked through. I can't skip the bad parts. Or the scary parts. Or the parts that broke my heart. I had to walk through them. And if I hadn't walked through a bunch of sad and scary times...I wouldn't have known how amazing and sweet my life is now.
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