I'd rather float.

October 2, 2022

Day 2,205

     I hate the feeling of uncertainty. I hate the feeling of floating on my back in the middle of a black ocean. It makes me feel small and lost and vulnerable. 

     But when faced with an unknown, there are two choices: 

1. Float on my back in the middle of a black ocean.

2. Drown. 

     As much as floating in black water absolutely terrifies me, I refuse to drown. So I choose to float. On my back. In black water. With arms open wide. Waiting for relief to come. 

     Floating on my back in black water means this: my eyes are looking up at the sky. The sky reminds me that even if things seem stormy, that bright blue is never really gone. It's only hidden for a time. 

     Thankful for the ocean and sky. Thankful for the lessons I learn from them. Thankful for the choice to float. I'd rather float than drown any day.