June 11, 2017
Day 254
Adelyn never stops talking. Or moving. Or singing. Or humming. Or asking questions. It is exhausting. On some days, her incessant talking makes my brain feel like a blender. Today was one of those days. We were driving home from Patty's house, and I was trying to think. I was thinking about house stuff, school stuff, working out, getting groceries, vacation, staying calm, the car...my mind was going a hundred miles a minute. And all the while, there was Adelyn talking in the background. In all honesty, my brain probably feels like a blender because of me, not Adelyn's talking. When I finally just could not concentrate any longer, I started giving my 100% attention to what Adelyn was talking about. It was: favorite colors. This is how the conversation went:
Adelyn: Mom, my favorite color is blue...it's a peaceful color.
Me: Yes, that's nice.
Adelyn: (one minute later) Actually, my favorite color is yellow.
Me: Hmmmm.
Adelyn: (one minute later) My favorite color is chestnut brown.
Me: Wow. that's an interesting---
Adelyn: (interrupting) It's purple. My favorite color is purple.
Me: (stares at Adelyn for 2 seconds)
Adelyn: (2 seconds later) It's violet. Violet is a pretty color.
Me: (silence)
Adelyn: You know what, I've decided: it's indigo. Do you know what indigo looks like?
Sometimes, it all comes back to me like a ton of bricks. Those ordinary, everyday, conversations about favorite color moments are the most important moments of all. I can't skip them. I can't think through them. I have to quiet my mind in order to listen to the one who changed my life forever. I don't think I knew anything about love or beauty or life or death or raw, real moments until the doctor first placed Adelyn on my chest.
Thankful for favorite colors. Thankful for my Adelyn girl. She'll always be my lighthouse.
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