Here is the why.

August 13, 2017
Day 317

     Words are hard for me lately. Except the words I know how to say over and over again: I am thankful. While I have not deviated from my original goal to write for 1,000 days about what I am thankful for, I feel like my writing has been lacking. Needing something more. A bit more of an explanation as to why I'm doing this. But until this night, I have been unable to write why, I have only been able to write: I am thankful.

     Here is the why: because almost every day this summer has been a battle for me. There are days when I feel like I am drowning in anxiety. It consumes me. Every thought. Every action. Every second. It is there. Nagging me. Whispering disturbing things in my ear. Sitting on my shoulder. Watching me to make sure I don't feel too peaceful. It is utterly exhausting.

     But here is the good bit. For every ounce of anxiety I feel, when I run to God, I find peace. I find answers. I find goodness. And grace. And mercy. And refuge. And signs that He loves me. I don't have to fight anymore because my God fights for me. He silences the anxiety demon. He sends it far away from me. And He holds me while I catch my breath. He steadies my heart as His peace that passes all understanding rushes in and washes my mind clean from all the yuck.

     Tonight, I am thankful for my God. I am thankful for peace that passes all understanding. I am thankful that I don't have to fight anymore. The battle has already been won. My God has won. "And if God is for us, who can be against us?" -Romans 8:31

     Thankful isn't big enough to say how thankful I am for my God.