Day 581
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine told me that it makes no difference whatsoever that I cloth diaper. I cloth diaper for many reasons. But one of them is because I believe it makes a difference for the earth by not adding a ton of diaper trash to it. And with one simple statement, "you don't make a difference," I began to question other areas of my life as well. My blog for example. I write for me. I don't write for an audience. I know there are people out there who hate what I write. Think it's garbage. But, I believed that I made a difference. I believed that somewhere out there, there might be a person that could be encouraged. Or lifted up on a dark day. Slowly, I began to believe this person's lie to me. Many times throughout the past few weeks, I have gone to write and I hear these words echoing in my head, "you don't make a difference."
This is how I know I make a difference. Before I started blogging, I was sick. Literally, sick. Every day. Every minute. Sick with the worst disease known to man. Fear. Fear crippled me. Fear held me back. Fear made me angry. Confused me. Every minute of my every day was filled with fear. And then I started writing. I focused on the good in life instead of the bad. I focused on things to be thankful about instead of things to be fearful about. And it changed me. Changed my entire life. Rewired my brain. Transformed it. Blogging made a difference for me. And because it made a difference for me, it made a difference for everyone around me. My husband. My children. My family. Our days no longer revolve around questions and fears and doubts and obsessions and compulsions. They revolve around things that truly matter. Love and laughter. Thankfulness. The good things. Because I decided to change, I made a difference.
Thankful for moments of clarity. Thankful for people who tell me I don't make a difference. It forces me to examine what I believe in. It forces me to find ways to prove them wrong. It forces me to ask the very hard question, "do I make a difference?"
I do. My friend was wrong.
A friend who would say you don't make a difference is no friend at all. They are very wrong and you do make a difference. You have blossomed into a wonderful mother, wife and friend and I am proud to know you and even more proud to have you as family <3 Never doubt yourself, Christen. You are making a POSITIVE difference. Every. Single. Day. <3
ReplyDeleteWow. Thank you for your kind words!
DeleteI second that Punkin! You make a difference in many peoples lives whether they believe it or not. Your blogs whatever the topic gives food for thought. Sometimes we don't always think about certain things until it is brought to mind, and you bring many things to mind. Those unable to express the everyday life struggles are able to find someone to relate to whether they admit it or not. Keep up the good work and I love you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gam! I love you so much!
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