Countdown, Day 7, September 11th

Countdown, Day 7, September 11th

     Right before I gave birth to River...I went to God looking for answers. Looking for a miracle. I got my Bible, and said, "God, give me an answer." I opened to a verse that said, "the baby died." Not the answer I was looking for.

     After River died, I went back the verse that I had opened to. I was still searching for answers to all my why questions. I don't know if I will ever find the answers to all my questions as to why River died...but I did find this answer. I read on after the verse about the baby dying. It said that King David's wife got pregnant again after their baby died. They had a son. And they named him Solomon. I looked up the meaning of the name Solomon. It means peace. Turns out that Solomon became a King, and is thought of as one of the wisest Kings that ever lived...in the Bible. Interesting and fitting that the name Solomon means peace. When we lost River...it was turmoil. I've never experienced such anguish. But I believed this was my answer: my baby died. River died. But we would have a son. We would have peace.

     When I first got pregnant with Tobin, I was a freaking mess! I cannot even describe the fear I felt every second of the day. It was crippling. But I had to trust God. There was nothing else to do. I had to believe that we were promised a son. We believed from day one that I was pregnant with our son.

      When we found out that we were having our little boy, we knew right away that either his first or middle name would be Solomon. We were having trouble coming up with another name until Matt came across the name Tobin. It is the shortened version of the Irish name Tobias. We both loved the name right away. The meaning of the name Tobin is: God is good.

     That is how we came to name our son: Tobin Solomon. Tobin Solomon Sanderson. We think it is a good, strong name.

     Cannot wait to meet my son.