"My mom was rushing me from the moment I got out of bed."

Project 365 * 4
Day 685

   

          Mornings are hard now that I'm working. In fact, they are exhausting. I really love my job, but it's just crazy stressful in the morning. I have to get ready, get the kids ready, take Roxy out, pack up food for everyone, get everyone dressed, get clothes and diapers and stuff for Tobin in a bag. I walk out of the house every morning with six bags. And from the moment I get Tobin out of bed until the moment I get him in the car, he cries. He follows me around begging for me to hold him. It makes me sad, but it also makes me crazy. I would love to sit and hold my boy all morning, but I can't. And it makes him terribly sad that I can't. And Adelyn moves like molasses in January in the morning. It's like she's moving in slow motion. Mornings are stressful. 

     Adelyn was moving particularly slow this morning. I kept begging her, "please, get your shoes on...get your coat on...Adelyn, hurry up!" By the time we got in the car, she was in tears. And she asked me if I still loved her. I wanted to pull the car over and just hold her forever. It made me so sad that I sent my little girl off to school feeling stressed out. 

     Fast forward to about 8:45 am in my classroom. A little boy, who is usually bright and cheerful, walked in looking sad. His eyes looked puffy. Like he had been crying. And he looked absolutely exhausted. Pale. Just not himself. I called him over to my desk and asked him if he was feeling okay. He immediately broke down and said that from the moment he got up that morning, his mom was "rushing him, rushing him, rushing him," and that it made him feel so sad. 

     I hugged him. And paid a little extra attention to him throughout the day. He eventually perked up, but I wondered, how many times have my students come to school stressed out because they were rushed? Or running late? Or made to feel like an inconvenience when it comes to getting out the door on time? How many times has Adelyn gone to school stressed? How many times have I made her feel sad because she wasn't moving fast enough? Because my four-year old wasn't moving as fast as I could...

     Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for my sweet student. Thankful for lessons from them this morning. Thankful that tomorrow is new and fresh and I can try to be better than I was today. Thankful for children. They have much to teach us.