Day 1,636
Today was Patty's birthday. It started off nicely with breakfast from Chick-fil-a for Patty in the car before school. It's our tradition. Patty and I always get Chick-fil-a for breakfast on our birthdays. Then we went to Susan's house after school to celebrate Patty with a nice dinner. It was lovely. Any time is a good time to celebrate Patty. She's an amazing person. I'm so thankful to know. To call her my sister is an honor. I don't deserve the gift of Patty.
Today was a day for taking care of Tobin. Tobin was struggling and laboring to breathe. We had to put him on an oral steroid and he's staying home from school again tomorrow. Towards the end of the night, I was feeling very panicked because he was struggling so badly to breathe. I was sitting with him while he was doing his nebulizer, and he used what little energy he had left to tell me how much he loved me: "Mom, I love you. You're the best mom in the world. I'd be lost without you. You're a gift to me." I do not deserve him.
Today was a day for forgiveness. I was reading an article called, "Things you should never to your kids." My heart sunk as I was reading it. I had said so, so many of the things to Adelyn. So, while she was lying in bed with me tonight, I asked for forgiveness. I named the things I had said to her, and I told her that it wasn't right of me to say those things. I told her how beautiful and wonderful she was and told her how sorry I was for saying those hurtful things to her. Her response: "You're the best mom in the world. I understand. You were just stressed out. You're so kind and amazing and beautiful." I do not deserve her.
Today was a day for calling my mama. When times get tough...what do you do? You call your mom. I asked her to pray. I asked her to put Tobin on the prayer chain. She prayed, and Tobin is doing better. I went in to give him more albuterol at 12:30 am, and he was all sweaty. The little fever that had started broke. He was breathing so much more peacefully and not coughing at all. My mom is always there for me whenever I need her. I do not deserve her.
Today was a day for friends. I called my friend Heidi on the way to the pharmacy to pick up medication for Tobin. She prayed for me. Hearing the words of her prayer and the way that she prayed it calmed me. She's a wise friend who never stops amazing me with her calm spirit, her laughter, and words of wisdom. I feel blessed and lucky just to sit and have lunch with her, and I get to call her: friend. I do not deserve her.
Today was a day for reassurance. Whenever we get a new prescription, I like to run it by Stephanie first to have peace of mind that we got the proper dose, that it's safe, etc. I sent Steph a picture and asked questions. Matt called and got her advice and opinion. And even though I know Steph was probably trying to go to sleep, she answered my questions. She assured me that it was the perfect dose for him and gave me the confidence I needed. I do not deserve her.
Today was a day for love. Matt and I have been a bit distant because of the busy week. Here's how I know he loves me:
1. He kisses me when he sees me.
2. He smiles at me when he sees me.
3. He doesn't get mad when I'm freaking out about things. He calmly tries to help me.
4. He does the dishes for me.
5. He watches sports downstairs so I can watch Everybody Loves Raymond in bed. Matt always lets me have the remote even when he's in bed. That's the definition of love: giving your partner complete control of the remote all the time. I do not deserve him.
God is good. He blessed me with people that I do not deserve. I am so thankful.
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