There are toys, literally, covering every square inch of my house. There are dirty dishes in the sink. There is laundry that has been sitting in the washing machine since 9am. I haven't showered yet, today. There are little piles of black dog hair collecting in the corners of every room. But, it won't be like this for long...
I remember the first time I saw my Dad cry. I mean, the first time he really, really cried. In front of me. We were sitting at the kitchen table at my parent's house. My wedding was coming up, and we were making final decisions on the songs we would play for special dances. I chose "Butterfly Kisses," for my Dad and I to dance to. He wasn't sure if he'd heard it, so I played it for him. We sat at the table, listening to our song. He tried to hide it at first. He tried to hold it back. But halfway through the song, he was crying. I didn't fully understand the reasons for it until I had children of my own.
Fast forward to another day at my parent's house. I had just had Adelyn. And my Dad told me he had a song he wanted me to hear. It was Darius Rucker's, "It won't be like this for long." So, we sat down. I had Adelyn in my arms. And we listened to the song. And not only was my Dad crying, but so was I. It was then that I understood the reasons for his tears before my wedding.
Rucker's words, "just watching her, it breaks his heart, because he knows, it won't be like this for long," ring so true. I feel that way all the time. I love watching my babies grow. But, it also kind of breaks my heart. This doesn't last forever. This phase. This stage. This time in my life where it's a miracle if I shower in the morning. It's a miracle if my house is completely clean from top to bottom. This time in my life where I do nothing but take care of two babies all day long. It won't be like this for long.
This past September, Matt and I were watching Chelsea, my good friend, dance with her Daddy for the Father/Daughter dance at her wedding. It was a beautiful day. While Matt and I watched them dance, we talked about Adelyn. She has this funny way of dancing. She comes up to you, and says, "wanna dance?" She grabs your hands, and proceeds to whip her head back and forth as fast as she can, while she moves her arms forward and back. I said to Matt, "can you imagine what it will feel like to dance with Adelyn on her wedding day?" And Matt jokingly moved his head and arms back and forth like Addy dances. We laughed, and then we looked at each other. I could see it in his eyes, and I'm sure he could see it in mine. Tears. And with his hands on my belly (I was very, very pregnant with Tobin), Matt and I finished watching Chelsea and her Dad dance. And all the while, we thought about Adelyn. And how she will grow up, and leave us one day.
I'm thankful for now. It won't be like this for long.
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