Dear Molly,

Project 365 * 4
Day 438

Dear Molly,

     There aren't words sad enough to tell you how sad I am for you. There isn't anything else to say but, I'm sorry. I'm so terribly sorry for your great loss. I've cried often thinking about you and your husband, and this torturous road you must travel.

     Molly...you need to cry. You need to talk. You need to write. You need to sing. Go outside and sit with the trees. Lean on them. Watch them. They're quiet, but they have stories to tell of courage in the face of calamity. Watch the sunset. Watch the sunrise. Watch the birds. Go to a river. Go to the beach. And cry some more. And some more after that. Cry all day if you need to. Watch funny shows. Know that it's okay to laugh again. It's okay to smile. It's okay to have a nice day. It doesn't mean that you've forgotten them. Cling to your husband. Lean on him. Look to him for comfort and love. This journey will make your marriage stronger than you ever thought possible. The way you loved him on your wedding day will be nothing compared to the way you love him now. Take time for yourself. Go out for a coffee. Get your hair done. Meet some girls for dinner. It doesn't mean you've moved on. Remember your sons. Be so proud of them. Talk about them. Never stop talking about them. Be thankful for them. Be thankful you were chosen to be their mother. You might think you're weak, but you're not. It takes a very strong woman to be the mother of angels. Cry often for them. Tell them you miss them. Talk to them. Talk about them. Learn from them. They have so much to teach you still. Look for miracles. Look for the light. Look for the good. Some days, it's hard to find, but it's always there.

     I've been to where you are now. The place where the world seems dark. Bleak. Black. When I was there it seemed I was drowning in a stormy ocean of sadness. I felt like I might be swallowed by the black waves. And then, in the dark, I saw it. Faint at first. Just a ray of light. A glimmer of hope. Molly, I swam with all my might to keep that light in sight. I swam with all my might to reach that lighthouse and claw my way onto dry land. You must find your lighthouse. Maybe you're still swimming. Maybe you feel yourself being swallowed by waves. Swim, Molly. Look for light. It's there. Look for miracles. They're there.

     You're in a dark place now, yes, but know this...you are so loved. And all that love is waiting for you. The only thing you have to do is make the decision: I will not drown. I will swim. I will find my lighthouse. And I will give it everything I've got to make it there. There are so many people rooting for you, Molly. So many people who love you. And maybe, in the midst of disaster, that's all one really needs to know. You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.

     Swim.