I went to Trader Joe's tonight after I put the kids to bed. As I was driving there, I started thinking about Adelyn's birth for some reason. The thing that stands out the most to me when I think about her birth is the words of my Doctor: "You don't know how close you came...both of you." My God. Makes me sick to think about those words.
Today was sort of hard day with Addy. And Tobin. They cried a bunch. They needed me a bunch. They just were...babies. Needy babies. On days like today, it's easy to start thinking, "I need a break," or "If I could just have one minute to myself."
But while I was driving, those words, "you don't know how close you came," echoed in my head. I started thinking about what it would mean to not have my precious Adelyn. What my life would look like. And you know what? I would have lots of minutes to myself. It would be much more quiet. And dull. And ordinary. And maybe even a bit...meaningless. Monotonous.
Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about my children. And when I think about the fact that Adelyn might not have existed...that her life, and everything she means to me might not have happened...thankful begins to take on a whole new meaning.
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