Day 492
Here's the scene: I was sitting on the couch, "relaxing," after dinner. Tobin was playing with some toys, and Addy was in the bathroom. I was flipping through my phone. Zoning out. "Relaxing." I heard water dripping and sloshing around in the bathroom, so I got up, and opened the door to find Miss Adelyn Bailey using the toilet bowl like a wash basin. She had the hand towel completely soaked with toilet water, and she was using that towel and water to wash her face and hair. There was also toilet water splashed on the walls and floor. Of course, I freaked out. I yelled, "Adelyn, what are you doing?!" And I rushed her out of the bathroom, and upstairs to the tub. Once the kids were in the tub, I asked Addy as I washed her, "what were you doing?" Her answer? "I don't know."
I felt the hot sting of shame come over me as I stared into her bright, blue eyes. My sweet girl was probably imagining she was a beautiful princess. Washing her face off in the morning as the birds chirped and she swayed to and fro in a glowing gown. I came into the bathroom, and killed her imagination with my loud voice and my logical thinking. I see her playing in toilet water, and I think, "poop!" She plays in toilet water, and she thinks, "princess." Now, of course, I know one cannot allow their child to play in toilet water. I had to correct her. But the problem was, I didn't correct her. I yelled. And I embarrassed her.
As I rinsed the soap off her body, I asked her to forgive me for yelling. I hugged and kissed her. And she forgave me. But that toilet water did more than just prompt us to have an early bath time. It made me realize something. If I hadn't been "relaxing," on my phone, I might have had the inclination to go into the bathroom and check on her. She had been in there longer than it takes to simply wash her hands after dinner. And if I hadn't been interrupted from my "relaxation," then I might not have yelled at her.
I'm done with my phone. Done with a capital D! I'm not on my phone all the time. I'm not. I try to be good about it. But, is there any reason at all for me to be on Facebook after dinner? Relaxing? Reading about ________'s candy crush score? Reading about _________'s trip to the grocery store? What am I doing with my time?!? This is likely the last couple of months that I will spend as a stay at home mom in my life. Why am I spending that precious time scrolling through status updates of people I haven't talked to in months? Years, even? If someone calls me...of course, I'll answer. If someone messages me...of course, I'll message them back. But there's a difference between using my phone to contact people, and using it to be lazy. And I will not use it to be lazy anymore.
I'm so thankful Adelyn washed her face in our toilet tonight. It taught me a valuable lesson. I have to be better. For her. For Tobin. For me. Big life changes are in the works, and I'm super excited about it. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for tomorrow. A fresh start. A second chance. A chance to be different the next time one of my children does something very childlike, and decides to bathe themselves in the toilet.
Thankful for my sweet Addy girl. Thankful for her amazing heart. Thankful that she's so quick to forgive. Thankful for second chances and new days. Thankful for the opportunity to change. Thankful that it's never too late to be better.
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