Rivers of Thankfulness: Jeff and Gary. What the trees taught me today.

Project 365 * 4
Day 489

(You may want to grab a cup of coffee for this one. I have a lot to say.)

52 Kind Things

I met a friend at Starbucks this week. Adelyn was in school, but I had Tobin. I'm not really big on taking the kids to restaurants because they make a horrible mess. I always have to bring their own food. And, my kids hate to sit still. So, I really don't see the point in going. Tobin did pretty good, I suppose. He wasn't too happy about having to sit still. But he never is. However, he did make a huge mess. Kids always do. When I was working at Starbucks, I remembered how much I hated it when kids would come in with their parents, make this humongous mess, and leave without even attempting to clean it up. Now look, I'm not suggesting that parents get down on the floor of a restaurant and clean up after their child. No. I'm merely saying, if they throw utensils on the floor, pick them up. If they throw half a muffin on the floor, pick it up. Common sense, right? And of course, at least, at a bare minimum, at least throw your trash away. At least pick up your used napkins, and your million pieces of straw wrapper rolled into 100 tiny balls, and your food crumbs.

So, when I was getting our things together to leave, and I looked at the floor, I knew I couldn't leave the horrible mess Tobin made for someone else to clean up. Maybe it was kind of weird, but I asked the barista if I could borrow the broom, and I swept up his mess for her. I wiped his crumbs off the table. I wiped out the high chair he used, and put it back. I pushed in the chairs. Such tiny, simple things. But those little things can make such a huge difference in someone's day.

52 People I Love

I love Jeff and Gary. And I miss them. I really can't stand not seeing them as often as I used to. Before I had kids, I would stop by for a chat quite often. Now, it's not really possible to "just stop by," anywhere. Every outing requires packing, planning, food, drinks, diapers, extra clothes...the list goes on. There are a few moments that jump out at me whenever I think about Jeff and Gary.

1. The morning after Matt's dad passed away, I had to open at Starbucks. That meant I was up and working at 5:00 am. It was a weird morning. As it always is after someone you love leaves this world. It's always strange. The way the world keeps going. Life keeps moving. I was kind of just going through the motions. Working on auto-pilot when I saw Jeff walking up to the front door. I'm not really sure if I made him a drink or not, but I'm guessing I did. What else did I have to offer him at such a terrible time? We went and sat outside. I'm sure we were sipping our coffees, and I'm sure I was smoking. It was quiet for only a few minutes. Just me and Jeff and the quiet, black morning. And then, the street sweeper came. This giant machine that makes a ton of noise as it sweeps the streets and collects garbage. I mean, this thing was super loud. It made things confusing. It disturbed what little peace we had managed to find, considering the circumstances. I remember Jeff having to really raise his voice in order for me to hear him. Honestly, it was terrible. But we sat there together. In the confusion. In that disturbing noise. I'm really not sure why that moment sticks out at me, but I think it may be that I found his company comforting. And maybe I was just honored that after his world fell apart, he drove his car to Starbucks to sit with me. But I think most of all, I was surprised that he sat there with me. In the confusing noise of the street sweeper on that dark morning. I was just glad to have been there for him.

2. I went to Jeff and Gary's for a party one night. I'm not sure what the celebration was, but there was lots of people. The house looked amazing and inviting. Cozy, yet elegant. Gary had cooked up lots of delicious and interesting foods, and they had lit every single candle in their home. I was sitting with Steph, Mario, and Jason, I think. Matt was working. Jeff was going around the room introducing people to each other. And when he came to us, he said, "...and this is family." Someone then asked how we were related, and Jeff kind of puzzled for a second until he gave this answer, "we just are." We just are. That's exactly how I feel.

3. I went to Jeff and Gary's after work one night for drinks. They have the most beautiful backyard. Again, Matt was working, so I stayed for a long time. It was a gorgeous night. It was cold, but they had a fire going. I always remember that as one of my favorite nights with them. We drank, and talked, and smoked until about 4 in the morning. It was just so good to sit and talk at night, in the woods, by a fire, cuddled under blankets. I remember the smell of my clothes the next day. It was the best smell. Smelled just like our night by the fire.

I love Jeff and Gary because they are such sweet, good people. I love spending time with them. I love talking with Jeff. I love laughing with Gary. He's hilarious. I love them for being a part of our lives. I love how much they love their dogs. I love that they had a wake for Elliot when he passed. I love that they loved a dog like Elliot. A dog that literally bit the hands that fed him. They loved him anyways. And they mourned his death. That's a beautiful thing. I love that when I am introduced to Jeff and Gary's friends, I am family. Because, "we just are." I agree. We just are. And I miss them and love them dearly.

What the trees taught me today.

Matt and I have been fighting the past couple of days. It sucks. It's the worst. Yesterday, we were really getting into it, when I up and left. Took our kids and our dog, and drove to my parent's house and spent the day there. We spent the day outside. And I couldn't stop staring at the trees. They are so beautiful. So majestic. Really. They're quite amazing things. I went to my parent's house again today for our family day, and the first thing I noticed when I got there was the trees. They're still there. They don't move. They stay for the good days. The bad days. They stay for the peaceful times. They stay for the stormy times. They remain steadfast. Strong. They have roots. And they don't uproot themselves when things get bad. They stick it out. They face the storm. They face the cold. They face the wind. And when they've made it through the storms, and the cold, and the wind, and they have days like they had today, they must be so proud and happy.

I left the other day. Not for good, of course. Just for the day. Just to be mean, really. Which is the worst kind of reason to leave someone. But seeing the trees today taught me something. I need to stick it out. Even when it's so frustrating. Even when it's so terrible. And fighting always is. I have roots. And they are where my family is. I need to remain steadfast. I have to face the storm, and the cold, and the wind right where I'm at. And when the storm, and cold, and wind have gone, I'll be so proud and happy that I stood and faced it. I'll be stronger. And I'll be wiser.

Thankful for the opportunity to do something kind at Starbucks. It was truly my pleasure to help out. Thankful for Jeff and Gary. Thankful that I am family to them. And they are to me. Thankful for their love. Thankful for the trees. Thankful for all they teach me. I truly love them. Thankful for a wonderful day at my parent's house. Thankful we could play outside all day. Thankful for a lovely dinner followed by a scrumptious dessert. Thankful for Sundays spent with those I love. Thankful to have so many amazing people to call family. I am so seriously, blessed.