His eye is on the seagull.

Project 365 * 4
Day 380

     This is how all this started: I put $50 in my gas tank. Didn't even fill it up halfway. Living on one income is hard. It's tricky. And sometimes, it's scary. If something breaks, if something happens, what then? Funny thing is...things have broken. Stuff has happened. And we have always been okay. Yet, I continue to worry. Even though, we have everything we need and more.

     As I was driving to my parent's house after dropping Addy and Casey off at school, I drove past a squirrel that had been hit by a car. Just laying there. Legs and arms sprawled open. Looking all kinds of sad and pitiful. Whenever I come across any animal laying dead in the road, I pray for it. Maybe that sounds silly. Or juvenile. And maybe it is silly and juvenile. But, I love animals. All animals. I can't even kill spiders in my house anymore. The other day, I trapped a spider in a bowl, and released it outside. After all, he probably didn't eat much. He probably just lost his way, and came across our warm home, and decided to stay for a bit. When I see a dead animal, be it a mouse, a bird, a squirrel, or a skunk, I pray that it didn't feel any pain. I pray that our concept of time is not God's concept of time. I pray that God took the animal to heaven before it felt any pain. I pray that it didn't die in agony. Alone on a road.

     That got me thinking about Skipper and Dixie. Some people think that dogs won't be in heaven. Some people think there won't be animals in heaven. I know they're wrong. For these reasons. One--Anyone who has ever loved a dog, truly loved a dog, knows without a shadow of a doubt that that dog had a soul. The dogs I have loved, have had more soul in the fur left behind on my carpet, than some people I have met. Dogs have souls. Two--His eye is on the sparrow.

     I kept thinking on those words all day. His eye is on the sparrow. His eye is on the sparrow. Then, I came across this in the Trader Joe's parking lot: a man, with a bag full of newly purchased loaves of bread, feeding the seagulls. He walked out of the store, opened his bag, and began feeding them.

     As he picked up his trash, and walked away, the words came to me again. His eye is on the sparrow. And then this. His eye is on the seagull. If the sparrow, then why not the seagulls? If the seagulls, then why not the squirrels? If the squirrels, then why not the spiders?

     And just to prove the point I think, I came home to an early springtime in my neighborhood. Hundreds of birds. Chirping. Flying. Chattering. I was so confused. I had no idea why all these birds were flying around in the middle of January. And then the words came back to me. His eye is on the sparrow. He watches over me.

     I'm not sure why all this is on my mind. I'm not sure if it's because worry, fear, and anxiety is trying to work itself back into my life. I'm not sure if it was the expensive gas. I'm not sure if maybe someone I love needs to read these words. You know who you are. Maybe I just needed to be reminded. His eye is on the sparrow. His eye is on the seagull. His eye is on the squirrel. He watches over me.

     Thankful for reminders. Thankful for the old man feeding the seagulls today. I watched him for fifteen minutes. In awe of the beauty of the seagulls flying around in a Trader Joe's parking lot, of all places. The sky had cleared at that moment to reveal a piercing blue. The crisp white of the seagulls against the piercing blue was gorgeous. And looking up, I imagined I was at the beach. My toes dug into the sand. Thankful for the sparrows. And squirrels. And spiders. If His eye on them. I know He watches over me. And us. And everyone I love. And all people and animals everywhere. Thankful for that.