Markus

Project 365 * 4
Day 395

     All that I have and hold dear might not be. If it wasn't for Mark.

     Mark and I were together for a while in high school. He treated me good. He was very sweet and giving. He would drop anything for me. If I needed him to pick me up, he was there. If I needed someone to talk to, he was there. He would tell me all the time how beautiful I was. He didn't care that I was just a wee bit crazy in high school. High school was the height of my anxiety/panic/depression era. He didn't mind. He would eat dinner at our house a lot. It's funny that when we saw each other a couple years ago, one thing we talked about was food. He remembered having turkey salad sandwiches and juice boxes at our house. Shane was super little when Mark and I were together. Our fridge was always stocked with juice boxes.

     He would buy me sweet presents. One year for Valentine's Day, he bought me the movie, Great Expectations. I was slightly obsessed with that movie in high school, so it meant a lot to me. And he never minded when I stole his things. Like his sweatshirts. In fact, I still have one of his sweatshirts hanging in my closet. (Sorry, Markus!)

     When I think about Mark, I feel thankful. And I feel bad. I feel bad because he was so good to me, and I treated him like crap sometimes. Like the time he came to pick me up from track practice, and some people said to me, "hey, your boyfriend is here!" And I shouted back, "he's not my boyfriend!" And he heard me. When I got in the car, he said, "if I'm not your boyfriend, then what am I?" And I gave him some dumb answer that didn't make any sense. Mostly because I didn't make any sense in high school. And even though I did that to him, and probably made him feel like absolute crap, he stayed with me.

     Mark and I were still together when I started to like Matt. Mark would pick me and Patty up for school in the morning. And for some reason, we started picking up Matt as well. Mark had a Prelude with a tiny back seat. Patty and I would sit in the back seat, and I would have to stretch my legs up and around the seat in front of me in order to sit. I would always sit behind Matt. And I would stretch my legs up and around his seat. For a while, we would just ride to school like that. Like it was no big deal. But, then one day, Matt touched my legs. Just kind of rested his arms on them. And I felt this "something." I felt it once before when Matt and I had a class together. It is a feeling I can't explain. I can only say that it was like strong magnets being drawn together. That was the thing that propelled our relationship forward. Matt resting his arms on my legs as we rode to school in Mark's car. Matt and I have often talked about how if it wasn't for Mark, we might not have been.

     It's amazing how people come in and out of your life. It's amazing the things that stick with you. For example, I don't need Facebook to tell me that Mark's birthday is July 14th. I always think about him on that day. I believe that every person comes into your life for a reason. Most of the time, we don't get to see the big picture. We don't see the masterpiece unfold. But, when we do see how all the pieces fit together...it's truly amazing. If it wasn't for Mark and I, Matt and I might never have existed.

    I'm thankful for Mark. I'm thankful for all the memories I have with him. I'm thankful for the love he showed me while we were together. I'm thankful for the love he showed me when I hurt him. I'm thankful we still keep in touch sometimes. He was the vehicle that brought Matt and I together. Literally. And for that, I am eternally thankful to him. And for him.