The coziest I have EVER been.

Project 365 * 4
Day 378

     I was driving in the cold rain the other day. While I was sitting at a stoplight thinking about how cozy I would be if I were home, in bed, under the covers, watching The Office, drinking hot tea with honey and lemon, and munching on pumpkin seeds, I heard Tobin babbling and cooing in the back. And immediately, my mind took me back to that first night in the hospital with him. The nurse had taken Tobin back for some tests, and told me to get some rest. I tried so hard to sleep, but I couldn't. I could not relax. My arms felt so incredibly empty. The room felt cold. And I felt nervous. After thirty minutes or so, the nurse returned with Tobin. She said, "I'm sorry, I was trying to let you get a bit of sleep, but this guy will not have it. He wants his mama." She told me all the tests went well as she handed me my crying boy. I thanked her, and she left. I remember thinking that my arms felt better when she handed him to me. I nursed him, and we cuddled together all night. He woke every hour or so to nurse, but I didn't mind. And even though I was in an uncomfortable hospital bed, I was never more cozy in my entire life. In that hospital room, cuddled up with my new baby boy.

     I always thought the coziest I have ever been was at home, in bed, under the covers, watching The Office, drinking hot tea with honey and lemon, and munching on pumpkin seeds. I was wrong. The coziest I have ever been was in the hospital, in an uncomfortable hospital bed, sleeping on and off with my newborn baby boy. That was the best my arms have ever felt. That was the coziest I have ever been. Those five days in the hospital with my boy. Whenever I feel cold or in need of some cozy, I'll think on that memory, and be warmed for days.

     Thankful for my son. His smile, his laugh, his sweet spirit, makes me thankful everyday to be his mother. I get to be the one to hold him. And wipe his tears away. To comfort him in the middle of the night. To nurse him. I was the one who got to cuddle with him the hospital. He needed me. And I needed him. And my arms haven't felt empty since he was born. So in love with my boy.