Rivers of Thankfulness: Fighting with my Husband.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Fighting with my Husband.

Project 365 * 2 -- Day 86

     This doesn't seem like something to be thankful for. Fighting with my husband. But, it is. There was a time when we didn't fight. And definitely not because there wasn't anything to fight about, but because we just didn't care. We were lazy with each other. Fighting is the worst. But, not caring enough to fight...that's even worse than the worst.

   In the past, this fight, first of all, wouldn't have even been a fight. Secondly, it wouldn't have mattered if we were fighting anyways. We were too lazy to care. Too preoccupied with our own lives to care. Too concerned with being "right." Too stubborn to be the first one to say, "I'm sorry." In the past, this day would have been a regular day for me. This fight...just wouldn't have been.

   I'm thankful that Matt and I are different people now. We are a different couple now. Now, this fight seems like a dark cloud looming over my day. A constant presence. This..."something" that I can't shake. I feel sad and alone. I feel down. As if a heavy weight is hanging off my shoulders.

   And that's a good thing. This fight, and the way it has made me feel is a good thing. A positive thing. Because it means that we care. We care enough to fight. We care enough to not let things go. To hash them out. To say it all, and deal with it. Instead of leaving it to fester. Instead of leaving it, and ignoring it. Instead of being preoccupied with our own lives--because we really led separate lives way back when--we hurt when the other is hurting. We live one life, now. Ours. Not mine and his. Ours.

   Thankful for the fight. Thankful that we care enough to fight with each other. Thankful that we live our lives together, now. And not separate from one another. Thankful for love. Amazing love. Love that at one point in our lives, was missing. I'm glad we found it.

     I love you, my sweet husband.