I believe Tobin is about to get another couple of teeth. All the signs are there. Snotty nose. Fussy. Not eating, and only wanting to nurse. And, not sleeping. Not sleeping. Two of the scariest words any tired parent will ever use. Last night, as I got up for the 3rd or 4th time, I glanced at the time on my phone before heading off to Tobin's room. 2:00 am. I was so afraid it was going to say 6:30 am, that I almost didn't look. As I said a silent, thank God, in my head, I realized that it didn't matter if I looked at the time or not. The morning was coming. Even if I wasn't yet ready for it. That's the thing about mornings. They're inevitable. Morning will come.
And then I thought, how lovely. What an amazing thing to think on. Morning will come. It will always come. When the nights are cold, lonely, scary, and dark, have hope. Because morning will come. It doesn't matter how dark the night is. The bright morning light is only a few hours away from the darkest, blackest night.
How fitting that I should come to that realization while taking care of my Tobin boy in the middle of the night. Losing River...that was my darkest, blackest night. And at times, it felt like the dark would never end. But, morning always comes. Tobin was my bright morning light. Tobin was my hope in the darkness.
Thankful for Tobin. Thankful for lessons learned at 2:00 am. Thankful for the bright morning light. And, I'm even thankful for those dark, black nights. If we never had dark nights, we wouldn't know how bright the morning can be.
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