I can't lie. The past couple of days have been some of the hardest I've had around here since Tobin was born. He's sick. And he is male. So, true to form, as it has been in my experience, when a man is sick, their world stops turning. Let me tell you: Tobin is no exception. He cries. All. Day. Long. And it is quite exhausting. Especially when he's cried all night long as well. He won't eat much. He only wants to nurse. And he only wants me to hold him. With short spurts of wanting to play on the floor in between. This morning at breakfast, he was crying, and Addy was crying. And I kind of wanted to rip my hair out.
But, I didn't. And we made it through this very rough day. And after I put my kids to bed, I laid down. Feeling like I could just sob. Because at that point, I still had to pick up all the toys in the basement, in the living room, clean up the art corner, clean the kitchen, and write this blog post. Instead of sobbing, I starting going through pictures on my phone. Sweet pictures of Tobin and Adelyn. Pictures of Tobin as a young baby. Pictures of us smiling together. And I started to remember that no matter how hard this day was, and no matter how hard the days to come might be, this is where I want to be. Right here. At home. In the thick of things. Listening to every bout of crying from my children. Wiping their snotty noses. Picking up the same toys, night after night.
Thankful for Tobin. Thankful for Adelyn. Thankful for the way just looking at pictures of their sweet faces can renew my spirit. Thankful for the way they love me. Thankful for days like these. Even though they're hard, they're worth it.
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| My little fashionable girl. |
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| Like yesterday, the only picture I could get of Tobin today, was this blurry one. Because every time I tried to get some pics of him, he would cry, and I would have to hold him. |
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